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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to take this exchange?

13 replies

SallyForthSunshine · 17/09/2017 17:41

I have a terraced council house. My DCs are grown up now and both have plans to move out so I no longer need a 3 bed, also it will get too expensive when they are gone because of the two extra bedrooms. I have been offered a swap with a woman who has a beautiful flat in a desirable part of town.

She keeps stressing how quiet her flat is and how quiet her neighbours are, and I feel guilty because I am the one with problem neighbours - a teenager with a neglectful mother who plays music on a ridiculously loud phone on one side, and a "passionate" couple who regularly scream at each other at the top of their lungs on the other. My nerves are destroyed, it's rare to have peace in this house after 11am one way or another. Brat next door is blasting crap music as we speak, with his mother home and not bothered. She'll half heartedly tell him to turn it down and he ignores her.

I've been very lucky that when she viewed one evening they were all out. I desperately want to move, and she is very keen, but I feel guilty about walking away from these shitty neighbours and inflicting them on someone else, even though the issues are nothing to do with me!

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 17/09/2017 17:45

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seven201 · 17/09/2017 17:51

Oh tricky. I think if I were you I'd probably say your flat can be noisy.

SaucyJack · 17/09/2017 17:57

You should probably give her fair warning, but she may well take the house anyway.

People who are willing to downsize from houses to flats are rarer than hen's teeth in many areas, and it's likely that she'll be willing to put up with noisy neighbours in exchange for more bedrooms and a garden.

Anecdoche · 17/09/2017 18:02

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SallyForthSunshine · 17/09/2017 18:42

I asked about quiet because it's the one thing I crave in a home now! She hasn't asked about the neighbours at all.

My plan was to leave a note with the noisiest neighbours when I leave, telling them that if she contacts me to complain about the noise that I will send her the 6 month noise diary I've kept along with audio clips and a statement for the council housing team. It actually wasn't too bad before someone gave the kid a phone with nightclub speaker level volume for Christmas. If his mother could pull her finger out and make him stop it would't be too bad. But if I speak to her face to face she gets defensive of him, it's quite bizarre as we are both pretending that I don't hear the things she says to him which are worse that anything I could even think up...

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 17/09/2017 18:44

This reply has been deleted

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x2boys · 17/09/2017 19:24

The thing is she could move anywhere and get bad neighbours and that's the chance you take I live in a council house too my neighbours are generally friendly and ok but they do have some rows I have been woken up occasionally by some screaming rows but 90% of the time it's fine it's up too you but she could get it anywhere.

x2boys · 17/09/2017 19:26

And yes be cautious if she's stressing how quiet it is!

SallyForthSunshine · 17/09/2017 20:04

She could have shit neighbours too - and I would go anyway, because at least it would be new shit! Grin I think there is an element of personal vendetta with the music too, ever since I spoke to his mother it has been worse, so I feel like it wouldn't necessarily be as bad with a new person. I'll think it over for a few days.

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sluj · 17/09/2017 20:08

Does she need 3 beds? Most social landlords won't let you exchange into a property that's more than 1 bed over your needs and many won't entertain any spare bedrooms at all.
Might be worth checking this point first before you worry about the neighbours on her behalf

SallyForthSunshine · 17/09/2017 21:21

She has two kids, we've done the visits. It's just filling in the paperwork and having inspections done now.

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Allthewaves · 17/09/2017 21:46

If she's harping on about it being quiet it's prob not but then shes prob desperate for a house with 2 kids. I wouldn't say anything unless asked tbh

RedBlu · 17/09/2017 21:54

My parents swapped and had shit neighbours. The person they swapped with was so desperate to swap because she wanted the extra room, she didn't care about the neighbours. My parents house was in the right location and had three rooms, that was all she cared about.

The neighbour she is now stuck with is an absolute wanker - but she got the house she wanted

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