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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That DD cannot be an au pair?

41 replies

LadyClaudette · 17/09/2017 17:27

DD 19 is taking a year between year one of university and year two. She doesn't want to work in retail and has decided that being an au pair in England would be a great job.

My understanding of being an au pair was that part of the benefits of being one was the cultural exchange?!

So can my lovely,'calm, good with children but very English DD be an au pair?

AIBU to think that she can't?

OP posts:
HoneyIshrunktheBiscuit · 17/09/2017 17:28

Why doesn't she be an au pair abroad?

HarrietKettleWasHere · 17/09/2017 17:28

Yes of course she can.

Pengggwn · 17/09/2017 17:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gorgosparta · 17/09/2017 17:32

Of course she can. You dont have to have to be from another country.

Or She could be an au pair outside the UK.

sonjadog · 17/09/2017 17:35

Why not go be an au pair in another country? She could experience a new culture and learn a new language.

Liadain · 17/09/2017 17:35

As long as she doesn't end up au pairing for that woman on the other thread (wanting a curfew, complaining that au pair isn't going to her childs bday), I think she'll be ok.

Personally I'd want to go abroad, but if she's happy let her at it.

vegetariansAreDelicious · 17/09/2017 17:35

Why couldn't she be? Because she's "very" English (whatever that means)?

Original poster
LadyClaudette · 17/09/2017 17:36

She knows about the underpaid bit, hard work... but wants to do it anyway! She's very bored of retail, loves kids and wants to stay living out at the same time. (Probably cause of me Wink)

She doesn't want to go abroad--- it's too far apparently and she won't be able to drive

OP posts:
coffeekittens · 17/09/2017 17:36

What is it that appeals to her about being an au pair?

If it's she wants to work with children then she could work in a nursery or as a childrens support worker?

In theory she could do it but as pp have said there's more appeal for an au pair not from the UK. Could she not au pair outside the UK?

outnumberedone · 17/09/2017 17:37

@LadyClaudette I'm pretty sure a large amount of countries allow licence holders of other countries to drive for a certain amount of time in that country so long as they hold a full licence that doesn't have restrictions

Original poster
LadyClaudette · 17/09/2017 17:37

By "very English" I mean born here, never been on holiday abroad, no idea of other culture... so she wouldn't bring a cultural difference or experience to an English family. And I don't know if that would be an issue

OP posts:
Ttbb · 17/09/2017 17:38

In sobecway I would prefer an English au pair. Might be better to try for a nannying position though, they tend to be slightly better paid.

chickenowner · 17/09/2017 17:38

She could go to another part of the country and, for example, experience life somewhere different than where she grew up.

For example, if she's from a country town in England she could go to London, Wales, Scotland, Cornwall, etc...

sonjadog · 17/09/2017 17:39

Why couldn´t she drive in another country? I drove as an au pair in Germany many years ago.

I´d encourage her to look to a different country. This could be an excellent opportunity to expand her horizons. She could go to a nearby country if she doesn´t want to be too far away.

Original poster
LadyClaudette · 17/09/2017 17:39

She likes the idea of living with another family, the challenge of it, doing something different, the children aspect, and hopefully forming a relationship with the children she would look after.

OP posts:
chickenowner · 17/09/2017 17:39

Too many for examples in my post!!

lalalalyra · 17/09/2017 17:39

I don't think she can be an au pair because of the wage issue can she?

Au pairs are exempt from minimum wage as long as they are on a certain visa - she wouldn't be in that visa so would be entitled to min wage.

GU24Mum · 17/09/2017 17:40

We had friends with an English au pair for a few months and it worked really well. I'd employ one (and not, I'm not the curfew lady.......!)

Plop5 · 17/09/2017 17:40

Don't see why not. What does she want to do long term?

Youcanstayundermyumbrella · 17/09/2017 17:40

I'm not sure she wants to be an au pair given that they are exempt from NMW, paid holidays etc. The whole point of the post is usually to learn English and get bed and board in return for a small amount of money and light childcare. See this:

www.gov.uk/au-pairs-employment-law/au-pairs

More like she wants to be a mother's help or similar.

Andylion · 17/09/2017 17:40

Why would she need to drive?

opheliacat · 17/09/2017 17:41

She doesn't want to live abroad, that is all there is to it.

My DH wants to emigrate. It has never appealed to me.

maddiemookins16mum · 17/09/2017 17:42

She can be an Au Pair or Mothers Help. It's a great way to make (not a lot) of money and they usually live in and study 'something' in the times (usually) kids are at school.

ForgivenessIsDivine · 17/09/2017 17:42

I think you would have to check if the tax and pay rules associated with an au pair apply to a UK citizen. www.gov.uk/au-pairs-employment-law/au-pairs

I think instead she would be treated as an employee and therefore subject to minimum wage and usual tax rules by her employer.

poddige · 17/09/2017 17:44

OP if she's interested in seeing the sights and sounds of Yorkshire then we'd love her as an Au Pair!

Can't imagine anyone would have an issue with Au Pair being English? Quite the opposite I'm sure.

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