To not let my 10 year old have his own you tube channel?

[sprockercrazy]

I can't decide if I am being unreasonable or not ...

My 10 (almost 11) year old DS stayed over at my best friends house last night. He is best friends with her son also same age.
Whilst there they both set up you tube accounts and uploaded various videos to their you tube channels.
I found out because DS had used my email address so I received several emails telling me that my uploads had been successful...
it appears that my best friend had given them permission so DS hadn't thought to check with me.
I and DH feel very strongly that DS is too young to have any social media presence. We didn't let his DSis have a FB /snapchat/instagram accounts until she was 16.
I have ensured that he has deleted his account but my best friend says that I am over reacting.
AIBU??

Albadross - that is very very scary indeed

sprocker the 11yo isn't any different than I was her at her age, I think we've been lucky to avoid the 'growing up too fast'. I see many changes ahead now she's at the seniors though 😖😂

I feel very, very grateful to have grown up in the '70's/80's. I think it was a much easier time to grow up. Adults were adults, children were children. The rules were all pretty clear. School friend arguments were left at school & mostly forgotten by the next day. Life was pretty simple.

I think technology has been both incredible & dreadful. It has advantages & disadvantages, it's changed our lives enormously. I honestly think if I could go back in time & not have it, I would, but it's here to stay and I think all we can do is educate our children and try to keep up with them!

You can't stop social media impacting their lives whether you let them have access to it or not. In fact, I think it's worse if they don't have access to it because they're out of the loop.

The 11 yo knows that googling things can bring up things she'd rather not see & that she can ask me anytime if she wants me to google something for her & check out what it brings up.

We talk a lot, we listen to talkback radio in the car & don't shy away from 'tricky' subjects. She'll ask anything. Which I think helps.

We talk about online security & her (general childrens) vulnerability & I've told her some of the things adults do to pretend to be children or whatever to get information.

She's well informed and not stupid.

I just think forbidding them to do the stuff that's available to them & that their peers are doing isn't really fair, they didn't ask for this to be the world they are growing up in. No more than we asked for roller discos & neon fashion 😂 I also don't think it's the best way of 'keeping them safe' but that's just my opinion & I know I've got it lucky with her personality & her school/friends.

You know your DS, do what you think is best 🌷 My best friend & I disagree loads, we are like chalk & cheese! 😊😊

I've just seen Albadross's post. Where was the girl with the guest camera?

DD is 10 and wants to be a YouTuber, I have been saying 'not yet' for a while now and have had a chat about the fact anyone can see and make nasty comments etc. We talked about maybe sticking to videos without her face, she wants to learn stop motion etc, but she was really desperate to do it

Thankfully she is very set on rules (autistic) and I had forgotten about the 13 rule so I have just told her that and she shrugged and said ok I'll just practise till then

@AnnieAnoniMouse I presume at home in her bedroom in her parents house. The platform allows anyone with a camera (via phone, laptop, anything) to broadcast live and there are no audience restrictions whatsoever.

It's linked directly to YouTube btw

I would be very careful on this one.

An 11 year old in my family friendship circle had a YouTube account to which he was posting pretty harmless stuff. (Think the kinds of things that 11 year old boys like.)

Unfortunately, for whatever reason, his (little viewed) account attracted some trolls telling him to kill himself etc.

A few weeks later, the poor boy was found dead. Nobody is 100% sure if it was suicide or not, or what role the YouTube account may/may not have had in this...but I can guarantee no 11 year old child of mine will be having anything similar, that's for sure, however small the risk.

You did the right thing.

I don't think YABU - stick to your guns! I honestly do worry about the effect of social media on society as a whole - let alone the effect it'll have on such young children. K don't think the not until you're 16 rule is stupid either - I think that's a good idea personally!

In my opinion, the fame of youtubers have muddied the waters a bit with their young audiences. Whilst of course there are lots of great videos and resources on youtube for children, I think it's been forgotten that its not a website for children and there is a lot of disturbing content and individuals on there. It is so easy (not to scare) to find out from a single video the name, age, location, and school of a child just from small hints in the video that you wouldn't even suspect.

I just think it if there is one platform to have an over 16 rule on, its youtube. Whilst you can stay relatively private on facebook, snapchat, instagram etc, its not possible with youtube if you want people watching your content. Unfortunately, stories like Albadross's are very common. I would really caution against it.

Albadross

That was my point really. She was at home. The fact that someone in her home was wanking in the background doesn't make YouTube unsafe, it makes her home potentially unsafe.

Thank you all for your responses

DH and I talked at length about this last night ( and took into account your replies to this post) and have agreed that for us our DS is too young to have his own you tube account.

We have a very open and honest relationship with our DC and discuss all manner of subjects together. DS understands internet safety and is aware of our 'on line' rules.

He is generally a very sensible boy but it isn't him that we are worried about - our concerns are focused on the potential actions / behaviours of others.

We will be sticking to our 'not until you are 16' rule as this worked well for our DD who is now 18.

As parents you have to do what you think is best for your children & you are. That's what counts. Just tell your best friend that you've thought about it and discussed it and that for your DS you think this is the best decision. Try not to make it sound like you think she's a 'bad parent' for allowing it & hopefully she won't eye roll too much 🤣

Surprised at the number of people here who would let a kid have their own YouTube channel. I don't think minors are capable of genuinely understanding the consequences of permanently leaking footage of themselves online in the age of Internet, Which Never Forgets.

It's perfectly possible to make use of the educational benefits of YouTube without creating your own channel.

I would not let DD have facebook, Instagram or snapchat, but she is allowed her youtube account. She is not allowed to show herself at all though.

It's so sweet, as previous posters have said, 5 views tops!! And that's me and her Dad! It can't hurt if they are not in the video.

DD is 9. Crazy about DanTDM (hence username!)

Oh sorry, hadn't rtft through to end. You have decided against it.

Good call. I would have an absolute FIT if DD showed herself or used her real name on it. I monitor her five uploads very carefully! They're all animation things she has made. I don't mind this at all. Anything else, she knows not to.

@AnnieAnoniMouse no the person wanking wasn't in her house - he was someone also broadcasting live, you can request to guest on someone's live stream and if they say yes, your camera shows up next to them and you can talk to them. There's no way of knowing who's going to pop up. I once had a girl ask to guest with me, she appeared and was no more than about 11 and had hurt herself by holding ice against her arm until it burned her skin. It was shocking.

Also its not just about them showing themselves in a video - adults can send you messages privately and there's no option to prevent this either, only comments can be moderated.

That is shocking. I am even more convinced now that we have made the right decision for our DS

You do whatever you feel is right. There is no right and wrong. My eldest DS did have a youtube account at 10ish. Harmless and originally fun, no self pictures or of anyone else. But when some kids at his school decided to bully, then this was just another opportunity to do so.
He learned to block and disable comments.
We are pretty open about how to handle stuff. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't.
At the end of the day whatever you feel is right is right for you and your kids. Like everything there are pros, cons, and different circumstances

If you ask me it is all phases. Ds loved you tube at 10 and had his own channel.

Now he is 12 and all he wants to do is go on his playstation and talk to his friends.

Just a normal part of life.

You do realise that the same can apply to an XBox or a playstation?

They have to learn to be cyber aware and watch out for paedos. You just have the conversation. I did. I didn't spoil his fun by not letting him go on you tube.

It's all linked to my email address and me and DH monitor it very frequently and she knows not to engage with ANYONE or it's game over for the ipad/ps4 she just got. So, there is no way she'll break the rules.

People can contact children on any game more or less, that they play online.

I don't see it as spoiling his fun. He still watches other people's you tube channels with his friends and has an x box.

The difference between having a you tube channel and an x box is that their are no parental controls on you tube making it much harder to keep him safe on line.

YANBU. You are spot on. 10 years old is way too young and I agree with your rule around being 16 for FB etc.