I hate my neighbours and I want to move.

[lilly0]

I live in a rented HA flat , I work in the public sector the people above me an elderly couple own the flat upstairs. I can't stand them when I first moved in they walked into my property because I left the light on outside they said they didn't know anyone was living there. Wtf you don't walk into someone's home! I have a complex neurological condition the elderly woman said the previous neighbour was crippled (her actual words) and suggested I hired a gardener because I am crippled as well . I feel like she is spying on me all the time she looks out of the window if anyone comes round or if I go out she comes downstairs and tries to find out what I have been doing. She also reported me to the council for not living in my property when I had been in hospital for a couple of weeks. I can't stand the woman the council can't do anything because she owns the property upstairs, I feel like I am walking on eggshells and I can't relax in my own home. I am a very private person, hopefully I will move soon even into my parents if need be but she is driving me crazy has anyone had just very nosey and over bearing neighbour s?

The light thing could be a genuine mistake and the suggestion of a gardener is hardly unreasonable, she isn't forcing you to have one she just suggested it.

They cant walk in if the door is locked.

Nosey neighbours have their uses - they tend to know whats going on in the neighbourhood, they are the first to sport dodgy cars and burglars.

If you actually made a friend of her - on your terms of course - and said 'look I'm in hospital for 2 weeks, keep an eye on the flat' she'd be happy as Larry and you'd be sleeping better.

There was a thread yesterday where a woman had lain undiscovered for 8 years in her flat - no-one missed her ....... if only she had a nosey neighbour, eh?

She sounds lonely but not a horrible interfering neighbour TBH

Homeswapper?

When you say elderly, how old do you think she might be?

I thought using words like crippled show her age and disassociation from modern life. With some older people it is often better to ignore such insensitivity as it is unintentional. Are you likely to get neighbours you like if you do move??

I'd have just told her to sling her hook. There's no way I'd give up a HA property over something like this. Lock your doors! 'It's none of your business where I've gone,' and walk off. I'm in a HA property, my downstairs neighbour is a career crim who's threatened to assault my husband twice. He's not driving us out of our home and at any rate, where would we go?

Yeah, using the word crippled isn't a good way to endear yourself to someone I appreciate that.

My elderly Dad would say disabled but he'd also be 'meercatting' at the window when people arrive/leave/park outside

Also agree that if your door is locked then people can't walk in. Maybe they'd got into the habit of checking the empty flat below them just keeping an eye on it?

I wouldn't give up a ha property over this. The chances of getting another are very low. I agree with FenceSitter about making a 'friend' out of her.

Could you get some counselling or some anti anxiety medication to help ease the situation?

I really sympathise having had similar myself, and my son has also experienced terrible problems. Similar set up, my son is HA and the woman next door, who had paranoid schizophrenia (she told him this) owned her place.

Can you have a look at House Exchange? It's free to register.

(That's assuming your place isn't adapted for your condition in any way.)

Why would anyone suggest medication for what's happened.. if she is elderly then I'd ingore her phrasing as times have moved on but she probably hasn't. I second having a nosey neighbour is great as they know what's up and when there may be bother. If your door wasn't unlocked then she couldn't have gotten in and I'm confused as to why it was open. Especially if you are a private person, if you have your reasons then I accept that. Maybe she is used to checking the empty flat so walked in to see if all was ok.

OP I am going through something similar with an elderly NDN so I can totally empathize with you! (You can see my original post on MN for ideas on how to deal with them.)
It's one thing to have a neighbour that is watching out for you, but it's quite another to have a neighbour who is watching out for things to complain about. (Reporting to the council that you are no longer living in your home is not neighbourly. It would be different if she phoned council/police to say 'I haven't seen my neighbour in 2 weeks, so I'm a little concerned for her.')
When she questions you on what you're doing, who your visitors are, etc. Just be polite but firm. 'I'm actually running late/expecting a call soon/just popping out to put the bins away, so I've got to go now. Bye!' (or something similar) Smile and wave 'hello' when you see them, but don't engage in conversation. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about the spying (if she lives above you, putting up a fence/shrubs isn't going to help much).
If she comes knocking on your door, you don't have to open it to her. (Mine used to yell at me if I didn't open the door to them whenever they decided to pop over to my home.) Keep your doors locked, try to ignore the neighbour and don't let them make you miserable in your own home. I know it's not ideal, but over time they will (hopefully) find something else to focus on and (hopefully) leave you alone.
Good Luck!