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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Report my friend to the police or give him a chance

63 replies

Maskoff · 17/09/2017 14:55

He is struggling but he works and I do not believe he hasn't had 560 in the past 4 weeks considering he told me he has sold items of his.
I brought a phone of him. An iPhone which he told me he got from work, considering his work I believed him a few days later it was reported stolen and blocked. I brought this for 400.
I told him and gave him back the phone and he gave me 260 and said he will return the rest later on.
He previously a few days before borrowed 150 off me for his insurance which was an emergency.

When contacting my bank they had told me that someone has used my card to pay a debt collect 195 and 70
I know this was him

I confronted him and he said he will pay me back and to not go police as I said bank will need a crime ref to give me the money baxk.

I told him I need the money by today again more excused of him not being paid.
This has been around 4 weeks now and I'm sick of it. I got ripped off by a family member recently which he knows about so it was a lot for me to trust him and borrow him money.

I feel like I won't get it back and I should just go police but this will ruin his career he is a footballer (lowest rank)

What should I do?

(I don't need any lectures on borrowing money I will not be doing it again after this incident)

OP posts:

RidingWindhorses · 17/09/2017 16:32

If you don't report him he will continue with this until he gets caught or someone else reports him.

He will get found out either way.

NotTheFordType · 17/09/2017 16:32

IANAL but I don't think the police would be pursuing you for handling stolen goods - if you are unlucky enough to buy stolen goods in good faith then you have not committed a crime, you're the victim of one.

(Otherwise Cash Converters would be up in court every day.)

The key there is good faith - he told you he got the phone via work, you had no reason to doubt. If he'd said "I robbed this off the bar last night, LOL, wanna buy it?" then yes, it would be a crime for you to accept the item.

I'm another one saying he's not your friend. He's made his choices, he's fucked you over, what club wants a pro footballer who's a thief? It might tank his footballing career but 95% of players never make it to full time pro status anyway.

Lovingmybear2 · 17/09/2017 16:34

Mmm think you need to be careful op.

You brought a stolen phone off him so could be accused of handling stolen goods. If you gave him access to your bank details the bank won't refund you and it's not a crime as you willingly shared details.

Just never speak to him again and for goodness sake stop giving people your bank details it's insane

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 17/09/2017 16:35

Cops. Right away. This person is NOT your friend.

Lovingmybear2 · 17/09/2017 16:35

The police won't be interested as it's your word against his and stolen phones are too many to bother with.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 17/09/2017 16:36

Definitely report him to the police for all of it. How can you think he is your friend after all this OP?

Gorgosparta · 17/09/2017 16:36

That is the key. However, why would a loe level footballer have a spare new iphone? Is it reasonable to think that? Thats the key.

Plus OP then discovered it was stolen and gave it back to him and got a partial refund. She has known it was stolen goods from that point.

Its a grey area really.

SonicBoomBoom · 17/09/2017 16:38

You won't be ruining his career.

But it does sound like he fully intends to ruin his own career.

Drugs or gambling. It's got to be.

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 · 17/09/2017 16:39

How does he know that in order to get the money back you need a crime number?

He knows it because he's done this sort of thing before to someone else

Report the bastard

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 17/09/2017 16:42

I brought a phone of him. An iPhone which he told me he got from work, considering his work I believed him a few days later it was reported stolen and blocked. I brought this for 400
I told him and gave him back the phone and he gave me 260 and said he will return the rest later on

Why did you think it was ok for him to sell you the phone his employers provided?

Did you give him your card details? If so your bank will not refund any money taken. Have you cancelled your card?

Halfsack · 17/09/2017 16:42

How did he get your bank details? Are you quite naieve? Seem to be being conned twice.

Sara107 · 17/09/2017 16:43

How did he get your bank card details? If you shared them with him the bank won't refund you. If he has somehow managed to steal them without your knowledge, I don't know how you are even thinking of him as a friend.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 17/09/2017 16:43

Plus OP then discovered it was stolen and gave it back to him and got a partial refund. She has known it was stolen goods from that point

Yes she has and frankly she should have realised from the outset you don't sell a work provided phone.

Maelstrop · 17/09/2017 16:46

You're not ruining his career, he's doing that all by himself. Tell him all cash back today or you're going to the police. Why did he have your bank card?

Iheartjordanknight · 17/09/2017 16:48

It doesn't matter about good faith- the OP knows the phone is stolen and knew it when she chose to give it back to him rather than contact the police then.

I don't think they'll Persue her necessarily but I don't think they'll do much about him either so is it worth the risk?

ChasedByBees · 17/09/2017 16:48

Definitely police.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 17/09/2017 16:49

if you are unlucky enough to buy stolen goods in good faith then you have not committed a crime, you're the victim of one

Good faith does not include turning a blind eye to highly unlikely explanations. Did the OP not think it odd that he had a work provided iPhone to sell?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 17/09/2017 16:52

the OP knows the phone is stolen and knew it when she chose to give it back to him rather than contact the police then

Yes, even if you set aside the naivety of thinking he was free to sell a work phone good faith ended at that point. I bet he is relying on that as to why OP won't take it further.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 17/09/2017 16:54

I understand your misguided loyalty, but where was his for you .
Please, speak out, or end up with nothing.
You are, to all intents and purposes, shielding a criminal.
Pull up those big girl pants and crack on.🌺🌺🌺

Expemsiveuniform · 17/09/2017 16:55

You were lending money not borrowing it, surely op..

RidingWindhorses · 17/09/2017 17:18

I don't think it's impossible he could have a phone through work. And anyway the point is that she believed him at the time.

When she realised it must be stolen she gave it back to him, asked for a refund and contacted the police.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 17/09/2017 17:33

I don't think it's impossible he could have a phone through work. And anyway the point is that she believed him at the time

Of course it is not impossible that he has a work phone- what is highly implausible is that the employer gave it to him on the basis it was a gift he could sell on.

Iheartjordanknight · 17/09/2017 17:35

It doesn't really matter. Handling stolen goods isn't about the ins and outs of whether it was a plausible purchase, simply whether you handled the goods. And OP is going to go and tell the police she did. It's just worth thinking about first.

BabsGanoush · 17/09/2017 17:38

It's bought

Floralnomad · 17/09/2017 18:02

I assumed that she didn't think it was a phone that he had been given at work but a phone he had purchased off another footballer , which is a believable story . The problems arise when she gave it back to him and accepted the £260 rather than simply taking the phone to the police .

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