I think I want another baby.

[TellMeIAmBonkers]

I have a three year old and a ten month old.

Both pregnancies i was really quite ill and I swore after DS was born that i was never going to be pregnant again.

I loved my first maternity leave but have hated being at home this time around. My original NCT group has drifted, we moved house and I haven't made any friends yet. I've found it morning and lonely. And I've had PND.

Yet... yet, i find myself looking at 10 month old DS growing up so fast and I feel bereft. Is he really my last? Am I really done with having babies? I'm getting cluckier by the day. I just want one last baby to squish.

Also, we don't have the space at home, or the money for another child.

I'm mad aren't I?

Shall I just get a kitten instead?

Also, we don't have the space at home, or the money for another child

Surely this is the decider?

Yes it is. In reality another baby would be a disaster for us financially. But I'm just sooooo broody.

Do it because you want another child, teenager, adult child - not because you want another baby!

Babyhood passes so quickly, as you know!

Just wait. I find broodiness peaks around the 12 month mark when you're past the newborn stage and they're still super cute. Wait til you have two toddlers/preschoolers and then see if you really want to add a third into the chaos!

But you will probably be broody if you have another one too. And if it would be a financial disaster, it would impact negatively on your existing DC.

So pregnancy made you ill, you didnt like being on MAT leave this time, you dont have the money, dont have the space and another baby would be a financial disaster.

The only pro is 'i want another baby to squish'.

And how do you know that you wont still want another baby to squish when the 3rd is a year old.

So you will financially ruined and miserable and still have the same broody feelings?

Fwiw my mum always felt broody. She even says she feels it now and i am her youngest and am 35. She just accepts it and that a 3rd wasnt on the cards.

I was really broody the other day, it would be a financial and emotional disaster for me to have another child. It passes, accept the lovely broody feeling for what it is, human nature.

Pregnancy makes you ill – so who would look after the two you already have if you got pregnant again?
You don’t have the space
You don’t have the money

Three good reasons not to have any more. Obey your head, not your heart. We can’t always have what we want in life. Having a family isn’t just about what you want.

It's all very well wanting a baby to squish. Your children won't want to be squished when they are teenagers, and they will cost ££££ more once they are at high school.

I was very broody when DC2 was 10mo. Convinced we'd have 3. Now that he's closer to his second birthday, I've lost all desire for a third baby.

Not because life is too chaotic with two preschoolers or anything like that - I actually prefer toddler stage to baby stage - but we are able to do so much more as a family of four, the kids' relationship has really developed... Everything just feels so much more complete and it's lovely.

You are broody for looking after a little, helpless, squishable, warm thing - your kitten idea sounds ok for that.

Unless you want to consider the longterm implications (space, money, emotional availability etc) of another child, a whole new person of their own, don't 'have a baby' to fulfil the urge to cuddle something.

@Gorgosparta

So pregnancy made you ill, you didnt like being on MAT leave this time, you dont have the money, dont have the space and another baby would be a financial disaster.

The only pro is 'i want another baby to squish'.

And how do you know that you wont still want another baby to squish when the 3rd is a year old.

So you will financially ruined and miserable and still have the same broody feelings?

This ^

I wanted a third some years ago, in the 1990's; (mine have a couple of years between them.)

Decided against it in the end due to finances. (And I would have had to give up work for sure.) So glad I did.

I know quite a few people who have had a third when there other 2 are 8-10 ish and regretted it. Less room, less money, and another decade (almost) of child raising, school runs, hobby groups, school gate mafia and school politics.

I know the gap won't be so much, but I think I would have regretted a third child, as a number of people I know have regretted it, for various reasons, and I love our little family of 4.

Think seriously about it! You sound keen, but also have some raging (and very valid) doubts!

Broodiness comes and goes (and fades.) A third child won't!

I have a friend who has 4 children. By child 4 she had stopped going to baby groups/soft play/toddler groups etc because she was sick of them. Child 4 started nursery a lot earlier than the others.

My granny was still broody after six biological children and 2 foster children. They were very very poor. You have to stop sometime, ideally before you are destitute.

Well given what you've said, the most sensible option by FAR would not have another one!