To ask when is it ok to chase rsvp's

[BrightonBelleCat]

We are getting married in six weeks time. I have had day RSVP's but about 3 evening.

Do I start chasing now? And why don't people rsvp anymore? I don't want a card/letter just a text! Am I being unreasonable here and can I chase? I'm being asked about numbers for evening buffet I don't want to pay for people that aren't going to show.

Totally reasonable to chase now. Send a text saying you need to confirm final numbers for the venue, so if they don't rsvp by x date you'll assume they're not coming.

Did you put a rsvp date on the invite and has it passed? If so you are fine to chase now. If the date hasn't passed you are best to wait (I get a little peeved if someone chases me before the date they have chosen for me to reply by).

If you haven't put a date it probably depends on how long ago you sent the invites balanced with when the venue needs to know final numbers? I would say if it's been about a month I would chase, might leave it a bit if it's been less than that unless the venue need to know.

Put date as 1st September so it's passed now.

Definitely chase then, 100% reasonable to do so. As monkey says text or email and say you will assume not coming if no response.

Is this a new thing people not RSVPing? My first wedding (fucking disaster) my parents got loads of formal cards and letters.

We had a few for our wedding from what I can remember (8yrs ago) but birthday parties are a nightmare for it

We are having the same issue with our wedding and have begun chasing this weekend. A text is great, just so I can work out food costs etc. But nothing is rude

Too late now, but next time you send out RSVP invitations put a deadline for responses, and a footnote stating that people who don't reply within the timescale specified will be assumed to have declined the invitation.

Not for a wedding but ages ago I read a brilliant suggestion on here for children's birthday parties. The poster got so fed up with people not bothering to RSVP that the following year, a crucial piece of info was left off the invitations (ie the venue) so if a child wanted to attend, their parent would need to contact the inviter for the crucial info, thereby letting her know how many were coming to the party. No danger of unexpected children appearing.

It's reasonable to chase the day after the rsvp date you put so go ahead. I had to chase and chase and chase for wedding rsvps, it annoyed me so much that I no longer wanted to be friends with certain people.

Do people rsvp to evening invites really? I don't know. We got married last week and about 50% of those invited after the meal turned up, but only one couple actually told us they were coming. I think people are more relaxed about it as they know you're not serving them a formal meal and might not have even decided if they're going yet.

I think if a couple are offering a buffet and have specified at the announcement of a wedding it will be a small do as numbers limited with chosen venue, guests should respond, yes. I would and always do. Even if you say, I'm not sure yet because of work or children or whatever, it's just polite x

Do you need RSVPs for the evening?

I don't want to pay for a buffet for 100 people if there are only 65.

Not unreasonable in the slightest as you've clearly set an rsvp deadline. We had to chase a few people several times and they were always the cheeky feckers who then asked to bring boyfriends/girlfriends we'd never met and made us feel awkward because we had no space. People are so rude!!

I've never responded to an evening invitation as there has never been a request to.

You say that you have put an RSVP and it has passed - so yes, chase them. A simple "caterer needs to know" email, text, call whatever.

Hope you have a lovely wedding op