Periods

[Iwantaspangran]

I have a very verbal, inquisitive 3 yr old DS who follows me everywhere. Hence every month when I am on the toilet I get asked what I am doing and what my sanitary towels are. WIBU to tell him about periods at this age? Does anyone have any advice on how to do this in an age appropriate way?

YANBU. I had the same, and I explained it at a very simple level suitable for his level of understanding. I talked about the place inside my tummy where a baby can grow, and each month it gets ready for a baby to grow by making a kind of cushion-y lining. If a baby isn't growing, then the cushion comes away and comes out. Because it's made from my body it looks like blood but it not because I'm hurt.

My DS had already asked lots of questions about how babies grow, so had a basic understanding of that which helped.

Oh, I'm very open about all that. Who wan yet another generation of girls too scared to talk periods??

That's great AssassinatedBeauty- thanks for that.

My mantra, passed down from my own mum whose mum flat out refused to talk about anything like that, was always if they're old enough to ask a question they're old enough to get an answer. Just needs to be age appropriate and at that age needs to be very simple.

When my DD wasn't much older than that she asked me why I was bleeding and I thought I'd explained it beautifully but then I realised she thought a baby died every month and we had to start again...

@Ladywire

My own conversation went on a similar thread with my DD.

My ds aged 8 recently asked me why i bleed in the loo, apart from telling him that i would rather be allowed to use the loo in peace now hes 8 i just said that when females get to a certain age they have a period once a month and that is the blood that goes down the loo, he was satisfied with that answer so i didnt divulge anymore information!

At 8 they are more than ready for a fuller explanation. Some girls can be starting their periods at that age!

DD knew at 3. I explained it in simple terms. When she was 4, I had ds and she also knew about babies and how they got in there and got out again. If they can ask, you can answer.

It's all just biology to them. Answer in the same detail and tone as if they'd asked what their heart is or why they breathe.

And at 8 I do think they need more info. Not only will several 8yos be starting puberty, they have basic sex ed at school and misunderstandings from playground chatter are common.

All I remember is being so worried about seeing blood in the toilet and thinking my mum was clearly dying, and her saying 'I'll tell you when you're older.'

Don't be that mum.

I did the same. Son kept walking in on me at that age, mid tampon moment so one day I just gave him the simple explanation. He's 7 now and will occasionally ask 'mum, have you got your period?' if he sees the tampons in the bathroom or I mention I've got a sore stomach. And it's just in passing, no major curiosity or interest in the associated 'gore' of it.

I think an 8 year old should be leaving you to use the loo in peace but I've never been one for sharing my bodily functions/hygiene with the kids so am probably a MN prude

When my 8 year old asks questions i answer them, when he is satisfied with my answers and stops asking i stop talking and I dont give him airy fairy answers either! He is a very young 8 year old who has had to deal with an event in his life that i wouldnt wish on anyone, so yes the puberty talk has not really happened yet, but hey who else heres had to tell their 5 year old that there beloved sister died and had to field questions on pneumonia and sepsis........... thought not!

I have 2 DSs but not once did either of them see me on the loo or changing sanpro. To me it's private and the toilet door locked.

They are teens now but they know all about periods.

You're lucky Sparkling. I was the same as far as possible but when out in public and using public loos, sometimes I had to take a small child in with me. Along with their loud questions.

Phillipa I am so terribly sorry. I have no personal experience but lots of experience through work. You of course know your child best. In general terms, we tend to find that bereaved children need honesty and openness which it sounds like you offer. They find more comfort from clarity than platitudes. Again, I am sorry.

Not sure about luck TBH. not sure how I managed it. Timing and help I guess.

I have always felt strongly that anything involved with the loo is not for an audience if at all possible.

Couldn't agree more Sparkling. In fact in 18 years with DH there are two moments we do NOT refer to. One was That Time With The Noro and the other The Lowpoint of a Three Days of Labour. Both bathroom related. Both we pretend never happened.

I try to be more private about it but my kids seem to think me being on the toilet is the perfect time for a chat. They've asked and I say, 'ladies have this sometimes, it's called a period.' They just accepted that, thankfully!

Just explain in an age appropriate way. I've been very open with DD about periods and she knows she will get them at some point (She's 10 so probably not far off)

Can you not lock the door and have a chat through it Ansum. ?

We have one incident like that Show. It is never spoken of.