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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Noisy neighbours!

51 replies

MrsHandles · 16/09/2017 23:55

My neighbours are currently on holiday and have left their 19 year old son in charge of their house. For the third night in a row he's having a house party with what seems like half the town in attendance.

Now, I don't mind a young lad having a party while his parents are away, I imagine most people have done this. What I object to is being forced to listen to music at such a volume that I feel like I'm in the kitchen with them and listening to them screaming and shouting at each other. I've checked my windows to make sure they're all shut. Yep, it's just that loud.

I called the police tonight (101) and they gave me the number for the council, of course the council is now closed.

I'm currently on my own as DH is away and 22 weeks pregnant. If I'm honest, I feel too intimidated by the 20 or so lads to go round to ask them to turn it down.

We only moved in a few weeks ago and the neighbours at the other side warned us then about the noise.

AIBU to think he's being a bit of a dick and to let his parents know when they return? They actually knocked on my door before they left to say it might get a bit noisy, so they know he has form.

OP posts:
Lostwithinthehills · 17/09/2017 07:54

A police officer turning up to ask twenty drunk young men to turn down some music is not going to get very far. The police officer will have no right to gain entry to the house or to force the volume down even if invited into the house. Twenty drunk young men are not going to feel obliged to follow the polite request (only available course of action) of the police to be quieter. If the large number of drunk men decide to be aggressive to the police officer, who let's face it could be a lone woman, it would probably take the all the available police resources in the county to resolve.

The only thing to do is go through the council, and ask your neighbours to get involved too, in the hope of preventing similar situations in the future.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 17/09/2017 07:59

Sun read the OP- she has done this, she has rung 101. They have told her what to do. Not the op, but other posters are saying to now ring again with a fabricated story to 'get them out'- I think this might be what posters are suggesting is wrong. The op has done everything right for what is an annoying, stressful, but actually non-emergency situation, and they have given her advice as to what to do: ring the council. The comments on the thread are related to some posters suggestion that she should lie to get the police out.
There is zero evidence that the op actually intended to do this btw.

OP- did you sleep in the end? What time did they finish? Anything really noisy you can do in your garden this morning to disrupt his hangover??

Foreverlexicon · 17/09/2017 08:01

I work in a police call centre.

If I get a call like this I will do a shout out and see if anyone can drop by to ask them to turn it down. But again, ask is ALL we can do. We have no power over it. It doesn't matter how many people ring in, we have no power. That might be annoying - I'd find it annoying - but it's the government you need to blame not the police for that.

So I always advise people to call EHO and will shout out for any units available to drop by but the chances of that happening are very slim. We just do not have enough resources.

And please don't lie. There are vile things happening to people every night of the week that would lead to loss of life or severe injury if we don't get there in time. Lying to get police to come to a party will take officers away from a rape, a nasty domestic abuse situation, a real fight. Plus you could well be done for wasting police time if it's clear there is no fighting and no drugs so...

SoPassRemarkable · 17/09/2017 08:02

I can remember being at student parties when the police would turn up and bollock us for the noise. At one party the music suddenly stopped and there was actually a copper at the stereo who had switched it off. He read us the riot act and we all said sorry and went home. So I do think that drunk young people can pay attention to the police. But I do get that on a Saturday night they're too busy these days to come. Shame, because hopefully it could be a one minute job.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 17/09/2017 08:07

Mrs Handles

You will need to call the Environmental Health department of your local council on Monday morning. These are the right people to deal with noise nuisances as it is a civil matter.

Original poster
MrsHandles · 17/09/2017 08:28

Thank you for responding everyone. He finally shut it down around 1:30.

As I said in my original post, I phoned 101 and they advised to ring the council, which were closed. I would never fabricate a story to the police, having an ex-copper friend I understand how stretched they are and his frustrating it is when what is reported to them isn't the exact truth.

His mum (the parents own privately owns their house) did come to warn me before they left but also said I would be ok to go round and ask them to turn it down. The previous owners of my house did this once and subsequently had their front wall knocked down by the so 's friends. It turns out the previous occupants of my house had a fair bit of trouble with him and ended up sending their kids out to play in the early hours of the morning. Now I don't want to get into a back and forth argument but I'm beginning to understand why they might have done this.

When my baby comes along in January, I'm thinking of opening the bedroom window each time he cries. Shame the so 's room is right next to ours Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsHandles · 17/09/2017 08:29

Son's, not so 's edit button please, MN

OP posts:
Efferlunt · 17/09/2017 08:45

This must be horrible for you. However I'm really shocked at the amount of people on here who seem to think it's okay to lie and waste police time to solve your problem. Wtaf!

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 17/09/2017 08:51

Have you bought this house? Just wondering if your previous owner had many disputes with your neighbour that it should show up?

Glad it stopped. But yes I'd have a word with the parents when they get back if possible. And get the other neighbours on board

Original poster
MrsHandles · 17/09/2017 08:51

Also, I know 1:30 isn't that late for some, but when you hear it three nights in a row it starts to be make your eye twitch a bit.

Thanks again for allowing me to rant, lovely MNetters

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsHandles · 17/09/2017 08:52

Yes, we've bought the house. There's a lot the previous owners failed to tell us, but that's a whole other thread

OP posts:
JamOrCreamFirst · 17/09/2017 08:52

Did the previous owners declare the neighbour disputes when you bought the house?

NeonFlower · 17/09/2017 08:59

I would play the long game here, as it appears to be an established problem. Do not put yourself in the personal firing line. Do make a noise complaint on Monday and keep a record and evidence. Keep a positive relationship with the mother through gritted teeth (she has more power here than anyone, if it also happens when she is around).

honeysucklejasmine · 17/09/2017 09:01

I'd be having words with your solicitors regarding what the vendors failed to tell you.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 17/09/2017 09:20

If he does it a lot, and the parents know about it then it would probably be helpful if they left you emergency numbers for while they are away. That way, you could contact them, or a brother/uncle/aunt who could diffuse the situation in future. It sounds like he's a handful, but the parents are allowing him to do it by not putting a stop to it. If they don't offer to help you to resolve it in their absence, especially when they clearly know he does it, that says a lot about them.

ElsieMc · 17/09/2017 09:22

Call Centre 101's here are staffed by police officers so they make the decision whether to come out or not. Three nights recently is just too much and it is fine for his parents who are away and do not have to tolerate this. On the plus side, if there is significant damage it may cause enough ructions at the house that they ask him to find his own place.

If you bought the house and the ndns have warned you about noise, it is pretty clear why the previous occupants have moved on.

You need to speak to the parents on their return but it does sound like a longstanding issue in the neighbourhood.

You cant put up with this with a new baby op. If you are renting, you may have to consider moving on.

ElsieMc · 17/09/2017 09:24

Sorry, cross posted there and see you have bought. Pretty clear why they have sold op, sorry.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 17/09/2017 09:25

I would be having a word with your solicitor then. They have clearly had a dispute that's not been disclosed.

Small comfort I know.

Maybe have a chat with the other neighbour. See what the history is and what's happened/helped/not helped

Original poster
MrsHandles · 17/09/2017 09:31

Thanks again all. I'll be speaking to his parents when they return as they seem lovely people and so hopefully willing to listen and work something out. He only ever has parties when they're away apparently. I'll also be speaking to other neighbours to see exactly how often this happens.

Regarding the previous owners, they moved to another part of the country for work reasons, so nothing to do with NDN.

Luckily everyone else on the street seems to be great. It would appear it's been a clash of personalities between don and previous owners

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsHandles · 17/09/2017 16:57

Update: parents returned at 2am. They've just been round to find out how he's been. Absolutely lovely people, they listened and left absolutely furious with son. They've promised to silently crucify him Grin.

Apparently they're away again next weekend: he will have his key taken from him and sent to his grandparents. They're also going to play the 'you've angered a pregnant lady' card. Success!

Success

OP posts:
aaaaargghhhhelpme · 17/09/2017 16:59

Yay Smile

I love a happy ending!

Hooray for reasonable neighbours!!! Brew

Maelstrop · 17/09/2017 17:03

They sound fabulous! Good on you, OP.

Flicketyflack · 17/09/2017 17:12

Great news they sound like reasonable people. Keep a diary just in case and see if you can get their number if there is a problem again!

dowsabel · 17/09/2017 17:26

I had this when we lived in London, 35 weeks pregnant with 3rd child. I had cardiac and breathing problems, couldn't walk without crutches and was very much not a happy bunny. Students across the road had a mega party and it was waking DC2 up as well as me (gone midnight). I hobbled over in my jamas, read the riot act, was assured of their co -operation to tone it down. I'd hardly got home before they decided to play football in the street. I turned into a screaming banshee that truly did terrify the lot of them and many dispersed with a few getting into cars and driving. I took pictures of all the cars and reported them for drunk driving. That felt good!

FenceSitter01 · 17/09/2017 17:51

The council should man a 24/7 environmental help line, ours does. The "noise" officers then come with the police to assess the noise. They then issue a warning to turn the volume down.

But I have to say, why didn't you knock the morning after the 2nd night and say 'Look John, I've got to get some sleep, do mind keeping it down after 11 please?"

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