Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To not take this job?!

25 replies

EscapingAdultLife · 16/09/2017 23:21

I've not worked for 14 months and I now have a job offer of an 18 month contract in Europe.

This mean if will be away from home every week night and most weekends with the possibility of only returning home once a month.

I'm due to marry next year and we have discussed having children when we marry.

I'm really unsure if I should take this job offer or if I should hold out and see if I can get a job more locally to where I live. I can afford not to work for another year or so, really confused now so any advice would be really appreciated!

AIBU to turn this offer down?

OP posts:

Pastacube · 16/09/2017 23:23

if you want it i would take it 18 months isn't that long

LucieLucie · 16/09/2017 23:24

Are these the terms you applied for, or have they moved the goalposts?

Could your fiancé go with you and get work too?

They say it's always easier to get a job while you're already in a job, I'd consider taking it but applying for things more suitable while there.

Original poster

EscapingAdultLife · 16/09/2017 23:26

I did want it when I first interview back at the end of June but now I'm unsure.

I really enjoy being at home. I want to use my brain again and keep myself occupied, not sure i can suffer an entire winter of day time tv if I can't find another job.

The major problem i see is... If I do find another job I'm interested in and they want to interview me then it'll be really difficult to get to an interview from Europe.

OP posts:

cestlavielife · 16/09/2017 23:26

If it s a good job then take it
You can get married in 18 months or get married in 12 there or here

cestlavielife · 16/09/2017 23:28

Do you mean to get to the UK from Europe?
It s really easy... you can do a day trip by plane

Of course if you mean Europe to usa or Australia then the would take more than one day...but you can Skype interview initially

Original poster

EscapingAdultLife · 16/09/2017 23:29

My fiance cannot go with me because the language barrier in his profession would be too much. It's a language neither of use know the basics of but for my job the language is English so I'm fine.

The goal posts have not changed. I've been away a year and now I'm back in really enjoying being home. I've worked abroad on and off for 15 years so it's always been part of my work role.

My thoughts are the same Lucie... It is always easier to fine a new role when you already have a job!

OP posts:

Allthewaves · 16/09/2017 23:39

I'd take the job if partner has been used to you working away. It takes special person to deal with long distance tbh. What's worse happens - u both hate it and you hand notice in

IskraTG · 16/09/2017 23:43

I would take it in a heartbeat, but then I absolutely love travelling and experiencing new places; working abroad is my absolute dream.

You can always quit and come home if you hate it, and that's a much easier thing to live with than spending the rest of your life wondering what things would have been like if you'd have taken the job and had an amazing time.

Learning a language is hard but not impossible. I went from zero to conversational (as in, can have a chat in the pub, listen, understand, tell a story, make people laugh... on top of the basics like asking where stuff is.) in six months with regular, daily practise and lots of listening and exposure. Once you can communicate and have a conversation, your progress increases even faster.

Original poster

EscapingAdultLife · 16/09/2017 23:53

Thanks iskra, I never thought of it like that! I hate having regrets so yes... better to experience and reject then to have regrets!!

OP posts:

SpareASquare · 16/09/2017 23:54

I would take it in a heartbeat. Especially if I hadn't worked for 14 mths. No way would I knock it back.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 16/09/2017 23:55

I'd be tempted to do it- just because it's a once in a lifetime opportunity to work/live in another country.

A friend of mine -with oldish children (late teens) did this- it totally revitalised her career and improved her relationships with all her family members ... absence makes the heart grow fonder etc.

She'd spend all the holidays back here in the UK and it was like a 2 week party of catching up with people. A lot of us have taken turns to go out and visit as well - i think she's greatful for the peace sometimes.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 16/09/2017 23:56

If a job here liked you enough they could skype interview until you are over or arrange a flight over.

IHeartDodo · 16/09/2017 23:57

I'd take it tbh, sounds like a great opportunity, and even if you get married in a year and pregnant a couple of months later, you'll be finished before you have a baby. And then going off abroad for months on end will probably be out of the question!

butterfly56 · 17/09/2017 00:03

18months will fly by and if it's worth the money then I would do it.
It sounds like a great opportunity to me. Go for it. If your fiancé is a good man he will understand and support your decision.

Original poster

EscapingAdultLife · 17/09/2017 00:03

Thank you so much for your replies. It's really lifted my mood on taking the job.

Really appreciate all your outlooks and positiveness!

OP posts:

Xmasbaby11 · 17/09/2017 00:05

Definitely take it. You've been out of work a long time.

Lazy2Hazy · 17/09/2017 00:08

Please take the job

applesareredandgreen · 17/09/2017 00:13

I would hate the idea - but I'm not you, and I would not have applied for this job to start with! (So not very helpful really.....)

BoomBoomBoomBoooom · 17/09/2017 00:42

14 month gap is big enough on CV, you should definitely take it. Need to keep the brain active.

If he's the one then you can work it out- 18 months is not that long when you planning a lifetime together.

JWrecks · 17/09/2017 01:45

If I do find another job I'm interested in and they want to interview me then it'll be really difficult to get to an interview from Europe.

That is not necessarily true. I don't know what your industry is, but in mine (software development), I've hired people on other continents, for jobs on other continents or local jobs, completely over skype or whatever. I hired a fantastic bloke to manage my team in Austin, while I was in DC and he was in Germany. He's still with the company years on and has just flown up the ladder as well. I've interviewed and hired remote workers on every continent (save Antarctica!) without ever shaking their hand, and some have moved locally while others remained remote.

I find that remote interviews are even better than face to face. You get the same experience of seeing a person's face and their reaction to questions, etc., but you get to know them better because they are not so nervous while their in their home setting.

Take the job and keep looking in the meantime. What you say is true: It's easier to find a job while you have one than while you don't. And who knows, you may really come to love it and find that your DP will get on there fine.

oldlaundbooth · 17/09/2017 01:48

Do it op please!

Original poster

EscapingAdultLife · 18/09/2017 16:21

Ok so I've accepted the job offer. This wasn't easy and I'm finding myself feeling really crap about it!

Back to the grindstone I go!

OP posts:

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 18/09/2017 21:36

Good luck!

IHeartDodo · 19/09/2017 10:21

Nooo why are you feeling crap about it?

slbhill42 · 19/09/2017 10:44

Well done for accepting it!

It sounds like the timing is actually pretty good. If you're getting married next year and then planning kids you may never feel able to take an opportunity like this again. Enjoy the adventure :-)

Flip