to keep messaging the buyer?

[IamAporcupine]

I had an item to sell on ebay. It was collection only. Someone emails asking if I would consider posting it. I said it might be too big to post and she mentioned she sold something similar and it was ok. I had a quick look and gave her a price for the shipping.

She won the auction, paid, all ok. I wrapped it really well and when I wanted to book the courier I realised that for most of them, the item was actually oversized. I mentioned this to the buyer and she insisted it would be ok, and looked for couriers herself (after I gave her the measurements of the package), so I went with the one she found.
The following day I took the parcel to the drop off place, all ok.

Next day I get an email from the courier saying that the item will not be delivered (because exceeded the maximum size) until I pay an extra charge.
I don't want to make this too long - in the end the item was delivered anyway and I was left to pay the extra charges. I have emailed and invoiced the buyer for the some of this amount, but she has stopped replying.

I am fuming. Mainly annoyed with myself as I should have never agreed to this, but I was just trying to be helpful. But also very annoyed with the buyer. If the courier had not delivered the item until the payment was made, she would have had no other option than to pay!

AIBU to keep sending her reminders that she still owes me money?

With all due respect, you quoted and agreed a price for shipping and she paid you.
I'm sorry it cost you more, but that's on you for not having researched the costs better. I know it sucks but unless I've missed something, thems the breaks.

Sorry but yes YABU you quoted her a price for shipping she paid it. It's not her fault you got it wrong. She's complied with the auction terms you can't then ask for extra money. Put it down to experience but stop harassing the buyer she owes you nothing

I get what you are saying and I partly agree.

What really gets me is that when I was trying to book the courier and realised that there was a problem with the size, I would have said I made a mistake with the quote and would have cancelled the transaction, but she insisted it would be fine and looked for quotes/couriers herself.
She said she'd used them for a big parcel she'd sent recently etc etc.
So I didn't want to be unhelpful/difficult and went along with it.

I agree that is partly my responsibility because I agreed with it, but I still feel she should pay for at least part of it. I know if it was the other way around I would pay.

To be honest if I was her I'd possibly offer to meet you half way on the excess but the bottom line is she doesn't have to. The fact she's ignoring your messages is a clear indication she's not going to pay any more. Unfortunately you're going to have to chalk it up to experience. Just be careful if she hasn't left feedback you're in danger of getting a negative if you keep messaging her

She already left positive feedback as she was really happy with the transaction, but ok I will stop messaging her.
I am still annoyed though

"I have emailed and invoiced the buyer for the some of this amount, but she has stopped replying."

Um no. You made the error. You could have either continued to find a courier or accepted one that she used (without checking a price it seems). You opted for the latter. So no more stalking of people to cover your mistake.

You are right scotishdiem I definitely made an error.
When she asked if I could ship it, I should have said, yes, but you arrange the courier. She would have ended paying he original quote she suggested + the extra charge.
I guess I am just annoyed because she knows this.

oh well, experience I guess