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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be getting upset over this?

6 replies

earthquakesnowflake · 16/09/2017 20:49

Partner of 8 years has just really upset me. We have been very stressed recently what with health problems, money worries and young dc and have both been arguing constantly. He has just told me that he never asked for children and I've trapped him by having them. I was quite young when our first ds was born and he is saying it was my fault I fell pregnant and I wanted to trap him. Obviously it was both our doing and I was very naive to think I wouldn't fall pregnant. We also have 12 month old twins, which again were my fault (apparently) as twins run in my family. He does love the dc very much but these comments are very hurtful for me to hear. He says it whilst our eldest can hear and that upsets me deeply. He has now stormed off saying he can't believe he has ended up with a cry baby for a wife! This has hurt me. Am I just being too delicate?

OP posts:
NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 16/09/2017 20:54

He's an ass for saying it in front of dc for a start.

I assume you didn't lie about contraception, and he either chose to sleep with you without using any or it failed? In which case it's no more your "fault"than it is his. But that's not the point really - do you want to be with someone who treats you and your dc like this? Don't you think you all deserve better than that?

LindyHemming · 16/09/2017 20:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ooooopsupsideyahead · 16/09/2017 20:56

No you're not being delicate!

I'd say LTB but I don't know if that's practical!

Stompythedinosaur · 16/09/2017 20:56

No, he sounds like a total dickhead.

He presumably had the chance to use contraception or not to have sex if he wanted? Therefore it was a joint effort.

He doesn't sound like someone who loves you or the kid's very much. He is being cruel to you, and you are right to think it's damaging to the kids to hear he doesn't want them (assuming they're old enough to understand).

Subtlecheese · 16/09/2017 20:57

No. Yanbu. He's a gaslighting hurtful đick. Particularly dickish as he's fine with having his children hear he doesn't want the responsibility.

He appears to be dealing with the stress by checking out now things are tough.
Flowers. You might need to get your ducks in a row. Sorry

earthquakesnowflake · 16/09/2017 21:03

We never used any contraception so we were both very foolish. As silly as it sounds 8 years on from my first pregnancy and I still feel traumatised by it all. No one knows that and it really hurts me to hear him say I got pregnant to 'trap him'

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