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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Vasectomy

48 replies

Worriedaboutboy · 16/09/2017 18:38

Husband is booked in in the next few weeks. What is the recovery like? AIBU to expect him to be back to normal after 3-4 days? And I don't mean in terms of sex, just in terms of day to day stuff - household stuff, childcare etc...

OP posts:

coldcanary · 16/09/2017 20:38

If it stinks then they've got an infection!

Bearfrills · 16/09/2017 20:42

They cauterise the ends of the tubes, smells like the world's worst BBQ according to DH.

DH had his a few months ago, my sympathy ran out on day three when he said to me "I know how you felt after your sections now" while wearing the dressing gown if doom and shuffling about the place in the swish-swish-swish man flu slippers. Turns out he had a mild infection and needed three days of antibiotics so I felt awful I'd been so unsympathetic until he said "now I know why you felt so ill after DC4". After DC4 I had sepsis caused by retained products followed by secondary PPH when the two types of IV antibiotics kicked in and those products decided they'd had enough of being retained. But yeah, mild skin infection, totally comparable.

In short, it depends on your DH and how well the procedure goes. What is he like when he has a cold or a bug? Does he get on with things or does he take to the sofa and start doing an impression of a dying swan? That's your guide to how well he'll handle it!

LadyTsunade · 16/09/2017 20:45

oh no, not an infection lol! I meant during the operation, it reeks, Ibthink its when theyre burning part of the tubes? Imagine (not that youd want to) the worlds worst eggy fart. Times infinity.

GU24Mum · 16/09/2017 20:46

Mine definitely complained about the smell too (as PP has said, it's the cauterising, not an infection). OH drove home and tends to milk things but it wasn't all that grim. I'm sure he'll be able to play with the children but may not be able to lift them out of the bath at first.

coldcanary · 16/09/2017 20:47

Ah right, DH didn't mention that but when he did get an infection it absolutely stunk!
Mind you he's hugely squeamish and would have blocked out anything to do with the actual operation!

BuckinhamL · 16/09/2017 20:47

Couch bound for a couple of days, pretty uncomfortable for a few days after, ended up with a infection in one of the incision sites :(

ShowOfHands · 17/09/2017 05:08

How well they'll cope might not be anything to do with whether they're dramatic or a dying swan. DH had complications and ongoing trauma. He's pretty stoic actually and he was tearful and in agony. He needed several more procedures and endured a lot of pain.

It's like me saying well I bounced back after a cs so anybody who didn't is a whinging drama queen.

It's about the individual.

I may be cross. I apologise. I'm in a dressing gown of doom right now and it is Not Helping

Bearfrills · 17/09/2017 10:10

Complications and on going trauma are a class of their own, I'm usually fairly stoic too and went to pieces when I was ill after having DD. My main memory of arriving at hospital is of sobbing brokenhearted on the MW's shoulder because I was sick on the floor and the bed and the chair and myself and she wouldn't get me a cloth so I could clean it up

DH's recovery though was not at all helped by him turning into a mid-30s emo shuffling about and groaning "I'm fine" in a sad voice when asked if he was okay I live him, really I do, but I was ready to kick him in the nads by the end of the week.

Bearfrills · 17/09/2017 10:11

Live = love

Allthebestnamesareused · 17/09/2017 11:06

Husband had his on a Friday and was back at work Monday. I looked after him over the weekend and he admitted afterwards he was milking it and was fine by the following evening but liking the attention .

Monday and Tuesday off seems excessive unless he needs to use up some annual leave anyway.

Allthebestnamesareused · 17/09/2017 11:08

Yes Dh was able to drive himself home after. The doctor said he could drive home as long as the journey wasn't over an hour as the anaesthetic would wear off by then.

EB123 · 17/09/2017 11:13

DH drove himself home. He was bruised and a bit sore but fine after a day or so and back at work.

shushpenfold · 17/09/2017 11:13

Very much dependant on the person. DH drive himself there and back and was off work for a total of 1.5hrs!

sparkli · 17/09/2017 21:37

My poor DH ended up with a massive haematoma. Had to go back into surgery a week later and was off work for 6 weeks.

Found it quite hard to be sympathetic after 7 labours...

sparkli · 17/09/2017 21:40

Ddad played football the next day, so definitely depends on the man.

DH was lying on the table and the surgeon told him he couldn't find the right tubes Had to call in the most senior surgeon in the hospital. Apparently his plumbing was not normal!!!

RainbowPastel · 17/09/2017 21:44

DH had his on a Friday. He was back at his manual job on Monday. He was very black and blue. He used a freezer block to help the swelling go down.

My Dad had his in his lunch hour and went back to work.

arethereanyleftatall · 17/09/2017 21:49

I've read the first few comments only but I'm quite surprised.
Dh had the snip at midday, drove home straight after, rested on the sofa for the rest of the afternoon with a pack of peas over his bits, and went back to work the next day.
It wouldn't have occurred to either of us he should have had longer off.

austenozzy · 17/09/2017 21:50

They didn't use enough anaesthetic when I had mine, and did the first snip. Worst 45 seconds of pain of my life, until they'd stuck a load more in.

Then I was basically purple from lower belly to upper thighs for a good while. I thought it was some kind of surgical antiseptic until it didn't wash off in the shower! Really sore for a week, back to normal after a fortnight.

I still get the odd twinge of discomfort now and then. Nothing major, though.

QuinionsRainbow · 17/09/2017 22:30

DH had his on Thursday afternoon, took things fairly easily (without flopping out completely) for the weekend and was back at work on Monday morning. Dr told him to wear a jock-strap day and night for a week. It took a while to get clear samples but it was perhaps the best £100 we have ever spent.

GoldenFlipFlop · 17/09/2017 22:37

Make sure he does all the samples and gets a clear result. DH had to have it done twice - clearly a sign of immense virility. Or so he says.

BubblesBubblesBubbles · 17/09/2017 22:51

Dh also had his on a Thursday! He was sore and grumpy for about 24 hours. Then fine. No issues at all.

Dogsmom · 17/09/2017 23:09

Dh went back to work the day after and he's a huge wuss, he said it ached a bit.

The incision is so small they don't even need to stitch it, the most painful bit was the tape, they put a cotton wool pad on with tape across so when he stood up gravity pulled his pubes and leg hair, he took the tape off within an hour of getting home and was practically pain free.

Aspieparent · 17/09/2017 23:20

My dh recovered rather quickly. Unfortunately wasn't a choice to slow recover. He had his done on a Wednesday out then 1 year old came down with a horrible virus and passed on to our 13 day old who ended up in hospital the early hours of Friday morning. Dh ended up spending the weekend looking after our 1 year old and 10 year old whole I was in hospital with the 13 day old. Unfortunately it was also dh birthday on the Saturday.

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