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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if it's ok to try to get in touch with an ex teacher?

42 replies

Fannylodger · 16/09/2017 18:04

I was a very difficult pupil. A victim of abuse (physical, mental, sexual and incest). I was an absolute rude, uncaring, mean, nasty and all round horrible teenager. If you'd heard some of the things I'd said to some perfectly nice teachers I think you'd all need to have a dettol bath just thinking about it makes me need one I was an asshole, I really was and I think some of the teachers may have really disliked me (I don't blame them, to an extent) In fact. One teacher went as far as to hurt me physically (I had insulted them, to be fair and I'd never pursue this as I would've lost my rag too). But there were 2 "teachers" mainly one. I regarded them as teachers but as far as I'm aware one was a TA and the other was an inclusion officer of some kind. Didn't teach a classroom and was trying to qualify to do so? I don't know specifics. Anyway. They are really what made me feel that I wasn't complete shite and I could do something and even though I ended up leaving school without GCSEs and doing nothing for a bit I've done okay since and I firmly believe they both really helped make me see I wasn't the useless prick my family made me feel I was. I would really love to get in touch/contact the school and ask to speak to them just to say thank you and maybe buy them both a bunch of flowers but I don't know if this is unreasonable/if they'd want that/if it's appropriate?
I just feel I should do something.

OP posts:
SongforSal · 16/09/2017 18:48

That sounds like a lovely thing to do. An 18yr old i helped in his formative years, turned up on my doorstep once with a gift and told me I was the mum he never had. It really bloody touched me to know I unknowingly had such an impact on someone.

sadeyedladyofthelowlands63 · 16/09/2017 18:50

As a teacher I absolutely love it when I see former students who were "challenging" and they have sorted their lives out. Makes my day. Go for it!

MrsHathaway · 16/09/2017 18:51

I wrote to my old school to say nice things about a teacher I had had, what an impression she had made, and how although I hadn't done brilliantly in her subject I maintained an interest in it and had done some optional papers in it at university with success.

They passed on the message and she emailed with her best wishes. It was nice, and that was the full extent of our reunion.

HailLapin · 16/09/2017 18:52

Do it op , it sounds like a lovely thought.

I contacted an ex teacher of mine as I was pursuing a career in the subject she taught. The school passed the letter on for me as she'd retired.

DJBaggySmalls · 16/09/2017 18:55

Its a lovely idea, teachers who have made a difference do like to hear about it. You can send a thank you card with a note in it, and ask the school to pass it on to them.
I'm glad you're in a better place now Flowers

DoorsAndWater · 16/09/2017 18:55

My lovely mum was a TA in the inclusion dept, she loved it when ex pupils got in touch to say thank you. Sadly she passed away a couple of years ago but to see some of them at her funeral who came because they wanted to pay their respects made me feel so thankful that she'd made a difference to them, she would have been so happy that they'd bothered to come, it's a lovely idea Smile

Maddy70 · 16/09/2017 18:56

I love it when pupils get back in touch years later. The school might be able to pass a letter on , or you could try looking on social media
Good luck

AliceScarlett · 16/09/2017 19:01

Yanbu, try it.

AJPTaylor · 16/09/2017 19:02

Teachers love it. Please ask the school.

winglesspegasus · 16/09/2017 19:13

taught" poor innercity"kids/not my term
still hear from a few and it pleases me to no end.
if you can initiate contact thru school
try searchibg on the net

Mrstumbletap · 16/09/2017 19:15

I would absolutely love it.

Go on the school website or email to see if they still work there.

Some flowers and a note with the memories you have of being there and how you are doing now, would be really lovely.

With how many teachers are leaving the profession these days you might just give a teacher the energy to carry on for a few more years.

Fannylodger · 16/09/2017 19:15

Thanks guys going to go for it and give them a call in the week. Will also have a google to see if I can get any info (as in,
Do they still work there) I hope they do. It was less than 10yrs ago.

OP posts:
ABCFamily · 16/09/2017 19:25

Do it! I sent a Facebook message to a teacher who had really inspired me at school to thank her, and got a lovely message back. I was glad I did so, as she died suddenly the following year.

The way I see it, you never regret saying thank you.

Maelstrop · 16/09/2017 20:00

The school website sometimes has a list of staff and their school emails. If not, yes, phone and send a card if they're still there. Even if they're not, most schools keep addresses so could send on a card, possibly.

leonardthelemming · 16/09/2017 20:02

Retired teacher here. Quite a few former pupils have got in touch via school Facebook page or LinkedIn. It's really nice to hear from them and find out how they have got on in life.

DodgyGround · 17/09/2017 06:54

I know someone who got in touch with an old teacher as part of his 12 steps in AA. The teacher was so touched he invited him to come and tell his story in assembly!

Jux · 17/09/2017 19:38

Good luck with this, OP, really very good luck, hope you find them. I reckon phoning the school would be no problem and if you said why, you might even get invited in to see them to give them the flowers yourself.

Well done for pulling yourself up and getting yourself on the right road Flowers

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