to ask if anyone ever has all their shit together ? If so, how ?!

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By that I mean :

Tidy and clutter free house
House paperwork all organised
Career going somewhere (!)
Neat and tidy clothes for all occasions
Dc's rooms are tidy
Life admin all organised

I look around my place and I can't decide where the fuck to start.

Seriously how do people do this ? I have started a routine several times and explained this to DH and DC several times, it lasts for a week maybe 10 days then it all goes to shit again and I'm fed up with it.

How do people do it all ? Or are we all just trying to continually keep on top of it all ?

I've come back from lunch at a friends and her place is immaculate complete with themed decorated rooms with matching soft furnishings and I thought how the fuck are people doing it ? or am I just lazy

@dietcokeandwine Do you mind me asking how old you are and what your career was in? It might be that you have more potential to go back into work than you think, even if it's not in your original field or at the level you left it in. But you certainly shouldn't feel inferior for not working. You sound like you have a wonderful and very rewarding life - but if you WANT to go back into work, perhaps you'd like to talk a bit more about that in case people have suggestions and advice for you.

It's about routine for me - set days when certain jobs get done i.e. Sunday is prepping day for the week ahead so ironing, any school bits, big Sunday dinner, personal grooming...

Admin dealt with as and when it comes up, don't leave it all to collect as then it feels like a mammoth chore.

Work is crazy busy at the moment, often involving working in the evenings to keep things ticking over but I'm rewarded with a good salary and progression so it's worth the extra time.

Housework split between us and also managed as required - I don't mind toys and books being spread out throughout the day but before bed, everything goes back in it's place so we can have an evening to ourselves that doesn't feel like we've been locked in to Toys R Us overnight!!

No. I fail on tidy & clutter-free house and DC's rooms being tidy. My cleaner stops my house looking like a bombsite and her weekly visits keep things clean.

I'm OK on the admin side (DH handles the house paperwork), and my career is going really well at the moment.

My rules is always keep dishes clean and clothes wash. Everything else seem to follow afterwards

But I do pick a day to focus on certain rooms at a time. Like on every Saturday, I clean The kitchen. Sunday: bathrooms, Monday: living room and so on.

With a lot of seemingly organised people I suspect it's a carefully crafted illusion.
Take my friend for example. Been round to her place on numerous invited occasions. Carpets hoovered, draining board clear, work surfaces wiped, table cleared, cushions artfully propped on sofas. In short, enviably clean and tidy looking.
I called in unannounced one day. Cushions in disarray, table cluttered, items lying around randomly and her hair completely uncoiffed in a cute 'I just got out of bed' look. I didn't stay long because the poor thing couldn't relax and chat. Instead she was tense and had the air of a rabbit caught in headlights. Lesson learned - will phone in advance in future.

We also do a massive tidy when people come to visit. Sometimes it's worth giving out an invitation just to make us do it

Haha, I totally get this.

We've had a nice, lazy couple of days as dh was unexpectedly off work. Nice family meals and games in the evening etc and everything else has been left. I think (I'm out with dc at weekend sports ATM) yesterday's breakfast dishes are even still on the side, not to mention the rest of the day's. And the rest of downstairs looks like a mini hurricane has passed through.

I text my friend this morning and invited her over at 10am tomorrow. So now I absolutely have to spend a couple of hours tonight cleaning...no other motivation like it!

My shit isn't really together, no.

This summer, around week 11 of the school summer holiday, I looked at the kitchen floor and thought it really needed a good scrub. One of the children said they'd like to go to the beach. The other agreed. We left the kitchen for another day, and did the beach.

To make this stuff happen while also working from home 30 hours a week something has to give.

I suspect my shit will never be together, but I'm not really bothered.

I do.

No, that's s lie. I'm a disgrace....

When your socks smell of angels, but your life smells of brie...

I would love to be clutter free, unfortunately my husband has hoarding tendencies a thing about collections!
Def. not got it together and 29 weeks preg!

I rarely manage all of it but a lot of it. My house is tidy but not immaculate. School stuff and clothes always well prepared and timely. Always well turned out (because I enjoy it). House and life admincan be chaotic but nothing disastrous. My career is going well. I am stressed and tired all the damn time. I suffer from anxiety and insomnia. I don't excersise. But am i "on top of things", sure.

You can have great relationships, a great home and a great career. But you only get to have two at a time!
Since the home is the only one you can contract out, I would spend money on help there.

yes to the massive 'pre visit' tidy.
and extra special pre visit tidy if parents are expected :o

it helps not making too much of a mess in the first place, so that it's easy to run round the hoover every -couple of weeks-- now and then.

dc are responsible for their own room.

We do, I find that lif you do a little each day it doesn't build up enough to be a problem

I do a great line in 'superficial tidiness'. The place looks amazing but opening a cupboard could kill you.

I have invested heavily in storage furniture and clearing a room can be done in matter of minutes because I just chuck everything in my beautifully patterned storage cubes

Cleaner plus DH that helps.
And I have trained my 5 year old to tidy her room. Or else.
I look like I have my shit together but I don't really!

I don't. House is a shambles a lot of the time. A manageable shambles and no one is getting food poisoning etc mind you.

But unlike my mother and mother in law who must have the dishes done before bed/paint yearly etc I am really happy and fulfilled so like someone else said up thread I count that as a success too.

I think I have everything ticked in your list apart from my DS's room (they are 9 and 14) I just pretend it doesn't exist.

I think mine is because 1. I'm single 2. I'm driven with my career, it has nearly broken me to get here but I am lucky in that I love studying 3. I work FT so the house doesn't have people in it constantly 4. I had to re-build my life from scratch after DV, I was left without a teaspoon and the end of my marriage was utter chaos so I kind of re wrote who I am since 2014. It has been eye opening to realise that I am really capable as a human

I'm the same as you OP.
I just keep trying - every day - to improve things.
It's an uphill battle. But some days i feel like im making progress. Other times, weeks/ months go by and things degenerate.
I try at least to: keep paperwork in one place; keep a to-do pile; keep a to-do list. Tidy as much as possible; throw out /recycle anything that i can; put things away where they belong asap.

'I called in unannounced one day.'

Argh, the horror!

It is so subjective though, isn't it?

Depending on your experiences and past etc. In comparison to a few years ago I think I'm doing amazing because I'm not a depressed, battered, self esteem fucked wife anymore. So to me, I've got my shit sorted.

To others they might look at me and think she doesn't have x, y and z so her life is a mess. Like PP's said, it's about how you feel about yourself that matters.