AIBU to find language tutor weird

[AvocadoQueen]

I've just started learning arabic. There are 10 of us and it's with a male tutor. I seem to have started off on the wrong foot somehow with the tutor and I don't really know what to do.

For example, I frown when I'm concentrating a lot and I am told I have a bit of a grumpy/stroppy expression generally. I also get nervous speaking in front of the others. I do think I might come as defensive so I actively try to appear engaged/interested in what he's saying but I'm not sure if that's coming across!

First lesson he made several jokes about me looking grumpy/sad. I jokily said this is the way my face falls, but he didn't stop. More jokes about us not fighting which left me a bit

Second lesson he again made a joke or two about us not fighting this week. And said my pronunciation would be better if I smiled more when speaking. Again

Then we were doing a sort of test and he was walking round looking over our shoulders. I was stuck on the piece of work and was struggling/feeling stressed so I put my arm wound mine like a kid would at school in a jokey way (but I actually didn't want him to look at it 😬) and his head nearly popped off and he said 'you're hiding it from ME you cheeky girl'!!!!

I feel stressed and pissed off now by the comments and feel I am making it worse by reacting and not taking him in a lighthearted way. Now I really do feel defensive!

Am I making too much of this? Is it me? Should I say something to him?

He is the tutor - he is looking at the work to see how you are getting on with it. Why would you hide it from him.

The rest is probably a clumsy attempt at banter by him trying to make you feel comfortable.

I think you are over reacting tbh. If you aren't comfortable with him teaching you look for a different class/tutor.

I would not like the comments about looking grumpy at all.

Oh come on, Allthebest, who the fuck says 'you cheeky girl' in class to a student, adult of not. Its inappropriate. Personally, i'd complain to whoever runs the overall course, but speak to him as well

Hiding it from him was a reaction to my own feeling of anxiety about not knowing what to put. I agree that was childish.

I always got called grumpy in a nasty way when I was a kid and hated it, so I just don't find it funny or respectful from one adult to another.

What do the others in your group feel about him? Have they expressed their views? If you can speak to him about it then that is great but if you feel uncomfortable then you should find another tutor. I feel for you as I hate speaking in front of groups too...I think this can make other people feel uncomfortable and if they lack in empathy they can make your anxiety worse. Don't let your confidence take a hit...get a new tutor if it makes you feel better. Learning a new language should be fun and exciting you shouldn't have to feel like that.

He sounds like a twat. What is it about (some) language teachers? You need to be relaxed to learn, not constantly on your guard against rude personal remarks. I gave up French at school because of a teacher like this (though he didn't single me out personally, he was just stressful to be around.) It took another 25 years before I actually learned the language (thank you Michel Thomas and assorted helpful French people!) Can this guy be reported for his unprofessional remarks, or would it be easier to just finish the term then start again with a home study course?

I don't know what the others think of him as we have only had 2 classes so far and there's no socialising in between. It's a private course run by him. I haven't heard of any other courses but could check. It's a small enough town and he has a great reputation.

He has also made numerous jokes about what a marvellous teacher he is and how lucky we are. Everyone titters along but having laughed at the first few I just don't find it that amusing. I generally am not keen on people voicing about how wonderful they are! I find it weird!!

He sounds very odd to me.

Sounds horrid. Embarrassing someone who is probably already stressed at having to try and speak a new language. Not really the way to go! What kind of Arabic are you learning out of interest?