To bring him up on this?

[FledglingFTB]

Hands up, I read his fb messages. We're open and allow this with each other, but I realise I went digging .

DP's message to male work mate "I had trouble balancing 'me' time and 'couple' time on holiday too".

Me time = cycling, of course. Couple = As in, he had to spend time with me on our 1 holiday that year

Now, this wasn't even a recent holiday but I'm furious reading this.

I engineered that holiday to pander to suit him. The location was chosen due to good cycling, found a decent bike shop and made sure our hotel was in walking distance. I even went with him to the shop to help pick up, as neither of us had our bearings.

6 out of 7 days he spent cycling, not one of them was a lazy day spent together at the beach or pool. I even sorted my own separate activity, which I enjoyed but was purely because I'd have been bored witless otherwise.

AIBU to be annoyed at him?! My mum recently made a passing comment at how we don't seem to spend much time together, which has touched a nerve.

Did you enjoy the holiday? If not then address that with him.
You can't stop him wanting to cycle, you can decide if that's an acceptable relationship for you

I don't want to be mean but you dont sound well suited. is there anything you both enjoy doing? don't spend too much time waiting around for him xx

Maybe he's saying he realised he spent too much time cycling and not enough with you - i.e. the balance was not right?

Maybe grass but I doubt it.

It doesn't sound like that, grassseedy!

OP, are you actually compatible?

Is the holiday indicative of everyday life, too? Because what this tells you is he wants to spend less time with you and more cycling. If that balance is already out of whack then it doesn't look good.

What is it with fucking cycling

I fucking know Flying and I even like cycling! It's the pomp and faff that goes with it. Just bloody ride the thing.

We do stuff together, we're not completely strangers and we do have shared interests and he will proactively arrange things for us to do together. I know this sounds ridiculous but as much as he enjoys holidaying, it doesn't come naturally. He grew up in a family where 48 hours in Norfolk was about as exotic as things got, so I do tend to take the lead.

I also take mums comments with a pinch of salt as she had (now divorced) a weird limpet-like relationship with my dad. He would never indulge himself in a hobby and resented my mum for having one. I couldn't call one of them independently without getting put on speaker phone for both to join in.

From that, I love and support that DP has passions outside of our relationship, and I'd rather not be those conjoined couples. But I do resent it occasionally and I think it's the lack of appreciation that's really got my goat here, equally I just hope that I'm not turning into my dad

The holiday was a bit crappy as we booked last minute, were on a budget and the hotel wasn't up to scratch, but other than that I enjoyed it.

No offence to Norfolk, it's lovely