Not wanting to see relatives- PND accusations

[blueberrybubble]

My DD is now almost 10 months old and I still can't forget how certain family members behaved when she was first born, I'm planning her birthday and I don't want to invite any of them. DD was very poorly and had emergency surgery at a couple of weeks old, it was awful.

I was bombarded with texts and calls from distant relatives demanding to meet little one as soon as she was home. As per the consultant's advice we said we weren't having visitors for a while to avoid any sickness due to the time of year etc. They all turned on me! My Nan made constant bitchy remarks when she did eventually meet DD at 7 weeks old and then during a big family gathering a couple of months ago after several relatives commenting that it's so good to see I'm 'better again' I discovered my Nan told everyone I had postnatal depression and that's why I wasn't seeing anyone.
I didn't have PND, I just didn't want to be bombarded by people I only see once a year with my poorly baby- her health was all I was concerned about.

AIBU to not invite any of them to her first birthday coming up? It's my Dads mum and I know it will upset him but I don't want to see her.
Thanks in advance

Your Nan doesn't sound very pleasant - is she always like that? And do the rest of your family know that she lied to them?

I hope your DD is well now, what an awful thing to have to face when she was so small.

post natal depression can make you behave that way and sometimes we dont realise how we are while others see it clearer. your grandmother has seen a lot and has experience so she probably thought you did have pnd and you know them best but i would have thought what they said was out of concern and care not to gloat or gossip in glee about you.

it takes a village to raise a child..dont drive a wedge and isolate yourself further.
i think its petty to not resolve it

I dont think this sounds like you had PND and were unaware. It sounds like bitchy relatives putting themselves above a poorly newborn.

I would think carefully about ostrasising but do think they need to be put right by your parents or yourself on how theu behaved.