Help, need a smart mouthed response!

[insomniac123]

Last week DH took DD aged 21months out with friends, one of them has son aged 5 who is a complete terror, shouting smashing things up, really aggressive, we are all understanding of this, the mother says just leave him I can't even go near himself he hits me - she has an older son similar but not as bad. They both listen and behave around the dad and grandparents- not her. We all politely avoid the confrontation with him and steer DD away to avoid any impact.
So whilst out with friends DH got a coke and DD insisted on first sip - as she does and off she goes, mother of devil child pops up and say very loudly to husband 'Great parenting there.'
DD is fed very well organic food, prepared by me, and we only drink coke when out and she has a tiny sip off she goes.
We are seeing them today and I know the same thing will likely happen, so I need a smart mouthed reply to her comment which IS going to come which isn't 'F -off!'!

"It's just a sip of Coke. It's not like she's breaking things or hitting people......."

I'd also go with this.

We used to go for a camping holiday with one of DH's friends and his annoying wife. She let her kids have umpteen snacks, rubbish sweets and umpteen ice creams between meals and close to going out for a meal. Every meal time (as we are out a fair bit) was a complete battleground and embarrassment as they ordered chicken nuggets or cheese burger kids meals then had one or two mouthfuls then refused to eat crying stomping shouting with her bribing them threatening them once her DH was picking cheese off a cheeseburger her DS had ordered etc. I didn't go bonkers with snacks and rubbish close to meal times but ours did have an ice cream a day and sometimes drinks sweets or fruit etc. Ours wanted and we ordered a half portion of an adult meal (as they hated chicken nuggets and typical kids meals) they both ate it all without carrying on, behaved well and often had a starter or dessert. I never ever made a comment about her kids at meal times and the tension and stress she/they created but if either of my two did anything or if we dealt with something in a slightly different way than she would that would be exactly the type of comment she would make. Eventually we parted company people like that aren't worth your time or effort as they will always have a superior viewpoint and think them, their lifestyle, thoughts, values, beliefs and there children are far superior to yours in every way.

If she had something like that to me I would have replied "yes I am a great parent, thanks so much" 😁

What Don't /gorgo said!!

Just say: 'It's none of your business' , because it isn't.

Hard stare, raised eyebrow and a stern "you're criticising MY parenting?" Followed by a snort.

I wouldn't bother saying anything. You don't need to validate your choices to her, or get drawn into a parenting competition- especially if it's so clear that she's in no position to comment anyway.

Just give her a sad smile if she says anything to you directly. Something like this;

there is "the mumsnet response" - tilt head, raise eyebrows, tinkly laugh (followed in my case by "shit...... you were being serious?")

Hard stare, raised eyebrow and a stern "you're criticising MY parenting?" Followed by a snort

^ this, all the way!

"We clearly have very different definitions of what constitutes great or crap parenting"

Get some new friends

^ This.

Why would you hang around with snide people who criticise your parenting and whom you don't even like?

You could say, "Well, we all do our best, even if it doesn't look that way to other people." You could even say it like you mean it.

I wouldn't respond at all.
TBH it sounds like you'd like an opening fto criticise her parenting / child's behaviour but these things rarely end well.
Marvellous work on the organic diet though.

Say nothing and stay away.

There will always be one of these parents and the trick is to avoid. Any engagement leads to misery, you will never win.

There's a woman in our road that has had problems with every other parent in the street. She complains her friends are nasty to her kids. Shes NC with her mother because she said she was nasty to her kids. She's surprised when teachers pull her over and blames everyone else. Sadly some of the teachers accept this for an easy life. Her kids behave like nasty bullies.

If you say anything be prepared for a shit storm. You've been given a little window. Look, realise you don't want that aggro in your life and concentrate on other friends.

Saucy that's my favourite pic for a while.

Op don't say anything bitchy back, that makes you as rude as her. I'd actually just go with a hard stare and saying that you don't see the problem. Factual and hard to argue with if she tries to then perhaps you say something bitchy

My ex did brilliantly with the worlds worst judgemental SIL. Youngest child(13) poured herself a little bit of cider. As SIL was telling her off, ex poured her a full glass.

Thank you people. I shall make sure I stay away from the bitchy and snide comments in response. DH says ignore her, that DD is well behaved and all that matters. I think he's right. Just hate being caught on the back foot to a bitchy comment to me. I have food for thought now!

"Great parenting there"

"How would you know?"

If she had the cheek to say something like that to me, I wouldn't say a word.

I would just look at her, then very dramatically turn to look at her DS, then back at her.

How about
Wow I thought we had an unwritten rule not to make judgements on each others parenting

Follow by
Actually there was study that has shown giving very occasional treats and not making food bad or totally forbidden creates a healthy attitude to a balanced diet long term (no idea if such study exists!)

Great parenting there...

"Says the mother of a knobhead".

"Don't be a knob, Barbara"

Feel free to change the name.

If I was feeling nasty I'd go with
"You should try it with your DS, it's hardly going to make things worse is it!"

Or
"Yes, we are very lucky that DD is so calm that a sip of Coke doesn't matter."

In practice I would either ignore or just agree "Great parenting" "Yes, I think so too" and then carry on.

You could always go with bloody hell, it wasn't a sip of coke that changed little DC into a devil child was it? with a little snort.

No really though do what the other posters say and say nothing. Then watch whilst her DC runs rampage and hits things and just smile to yourself.