How bad do tantrums have to be before it's not 'normal' anymore?

[HurriedLovey]

Dd is 32 months and her temper is horrific.

Has insane meltdowns over the most insignificant things.

I don't notice other similar ages children being like her.

Feel like my life is on hold. We can't do normal toddler things, groups or activities as her temper is so horrific.

Any advice? I'm struggling

So shes 4 months shy of 3? Terrible twod go on to the 3s you know, and if youre that worried film her and show it to the hv

Hard to say! Does she have any other issues?

I have a child with autism and one without. My child who does not have autism is now 5 and can still have long tantrums and be very hard work at times especially if he is tired.

My older child has autism and I remeber noticing that he cried more than other children as a baby and took longer to calm down.

Is there anything that could be unsettling her?

My dd is nearly 5 and over reacts to the smallest things. I'm not sure if it's normal or not I don't think there are any other concerns that I know of. I figured it's something she'll grow out of.... eventually.

YABU for saying "32 months"

Does she have good speech?
Tantrums kind of come with the territory of a 2/3 yr old

Nothing that I can think of that could be upsetting her.

Good idea about filming her.

whos I say 32 months as it's relevant. I could say 2 but at that stage there is a huge variance between just turned 2 and closer to 3, sorry, thought that would be obvious!! I've older children so I know about tantrums but that wasn't my q!

A book called 1,2,3 magic by Thomas phelan was an absolute godsend for me when by ds was that age, his tantrums were 10 times worse than his older sister's had been and i bought it after seeing a recommendation on these forums.

Does she hurt herself in the course of her tantrums or cause danger for others? Or is it just loud/alarming?

DS had absolutely awful ones from age 3 to 5 but he did grow out of them. No SN that we know of (he's almost 9 now).

I think it goes with the territory at that age. There can be a positive side in that it can demonstrate feistiness and spirit. It's a very difficult stage though.

The thing to do is stay calm and consistent, they need firm boundaries - and come on here and rant if you need to. We know it's easier said than done.

It gets easier once they become more articulate.

I would add to Maryz's post that autism is not the only explanation for non-distractable tantrums. Anxiety can be another one, or trauma.

Dd is not autistic, but she did/does have severe anxiety and would get into a state where she couldn't even recognise the people around her.

My DS had horrendous tantrums at that age - way beyond other children I would see at playgroups etc. The slightest thing would set him off for hours and he could not be distracted once he started - he would be stuck in the moment he lost his temper. He's 7 now and is pretty NT. He is though very strong willed and determined and also quite an anxious child who over thinks things.

If you are worried speak to your HV but it could well just be her personality or just a phase.