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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Night feeds

15 replies

mummytomylittleman · 15/09/2017 11:52

I have a lovely 6 week old baby boy and so far my DP has been brilliant and I don't doubt that he is an amazing daddy to our little boy.

My AIBU is to do with the night feeds. In the early weeks we sort of fell into a pattern where DP would do the feed before 12 and then I would do the one at around 3 then him the feed at 7 before work. Now I know I am very lucky to have a baby who has such good feeding and sleeping habits through the night already and I know many have it harder.

However, baby has now started to cut out his feed before 12 and so has started to wake at 1:30, 5:30 and 8am ish. Because all these feeds are after 12 I have to do them.

AIBU to ask DP to sometimes do 5:30 as he has to get up at 6 anyway and that at weekends (when he doesn't work) he actually gets up and helps me in the night. I should point out that we both go to bed at the same time now he doesn't stay up for the feed before 12 so he's getting a good 7-8 hours unbroken sleep every night.

OP posts:

Letstryagainshallwe · 15/09/2017 13:06

I dunno I do all the feeds myself as I am bf. if he is working and I wasn't then I would just do them myself tbh

KimmySchmidt1 · 15/09/2017 13:10

your DP should do the 5.30 or the 8.30 every day imho.

Weekend 1.30 is a bit different because the truth is while he is working full time and you are not he has a bit of an excuse even at weekends.

obvs if/when you go back to work it will all be up for grabs again.

littlemisssweetness · 15/09/2017 13:19

Is a dream feed an option?

AlwaysNeedTea · 15/09/2017 13:27

Prepared for people to not or agree with me here, but I do all the night feeds (Formula) Because my OH has work and I am on maternity leave, he is out working all day and I am home all day with the baby so can rest if I am tired.

Letstryagainshallwe · 15/09/2017 13:39

I'm single and as I said bf. but if I wasn't I would do exactly the same as AlwaysNeedTea

Original poster

mummytomylittleman · 15/09/2017 13:43

Littlemiss - dream feed? First time mum here so I'd love to know more!

OP posts:

Spam88 · 15/09/2017 13:59

I'm breastfeeding so obviously do them all myself. If you're OH is working then I'd do them all to be honest. When my DH is home and not working I still get up if she just needs a cuddle or something.

lurkingnotlurking · 15/09/2017 14:04

I'm bf too, but the same question can arise re rocking or nappy-changing. From my perspective, I do as much as I can myself but if I need extra help from time to time then I expect my husband to step in (and he does). But not every night - although with a 6wo then if you are completely exhausted then that could justify nightly support

blossombottom · 15/09/2017 14:14

Dreamfeed, OP: give baby a feed just before you go to bed (whether that's 8.30 or 11pm or whenever) with the intention that it keeps them going longer into the night before waking, and gives you a bit of a head start on precious sleep. You should be able to do it without really waking them, hence the name. Good luck!

honeylulu · 15/09/2017 14:15

Can you express during the day so your husband can "dream feed" at 11? This should mean your baby can hopefully only need 1 night feed.
There's also nothing wrong with waking you're baby at 7 for first daytime feed. We swore by dream feeds and a parent-led routine with ours. Some people will be horrified at the thought but it was right for our family.

Original poster

mummytomylittleman · 15/09/2017 15:19

Sorry should have put in the OP that we are formula feeding so no issue with the fact that I have the boobs and he doesn't

OP posts:

Spam88 · 15/09/2017 15:25

I assume dream feeding is easier with a bottle. Trying to shove my boob into DD's mouth when she's half asleep has not been very successful 😂

Wunderkind77 · 15/09/2017 15:27

When I was on maternity leave, I did night feeds Sun-Thurs and DH did night feeds on Fri-Sat. It's only fair to share the night feed burden! That's one of the great joys of FF!

user1493413286 · 15/09/2017 15:36

I know this isn't what you asked but I'd second the dream feed aka giving your baby the feed he cut out before 12 to try and get back into the previous routine. He may refuse it but I used to gently half wake my baby for it about 10.30-11.30 then she wouldn't wake until nearer 3.
In the early weeks my OH used to do some of the night feeds at the weekends but I found that he was then so exhausted during the day and it wasn't like I'd had a full nights sleep that I found it easier to do them myself and then have him get up with the baby and catch up on my sleep then and nap later in the day if needed.
What does he think about doing the 5.30 one? I think maybe a couple of times a week it's fair to expect that depending whether you and baby go back to sleep after that 5.30 one? As he doesn't have that benefit.
I've also found that whenever my OH does night feeds I'm awake the whole time anyway so it doesn't end up benefiting me.

toomuchtooold · 15/09/2017 16:11

Only thing with the dream feed is that now and again you should try without it. My DD1 used to get a de facto dream feed at 11 because her twin sister was waking for a feed at that time and when we tried to slowly night wean them at 8 months DD1 went to 2am on the first night and then slept through the night after!

But yes I think your DH could stretch to the 5.30. OK he is working but it's not like you're doing nothing all day - and you will only get busier!

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