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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be uneasy about this nursery?

42 replies

Spuddington · 15/09/2017 11:13

DD has been at nursery for a few months now. Once a week, half a day. She's never settled at drop off but they assure me she's fine afterwards.

When I visited and looked around things were great. Now I'm not so sure.

There's no structure to the rooms and they're continually short staffed. So 7 toddlers to one member of staff today. No key workers, no progress reports.

Last week there was a new tiny baby. At drop off this week he was crying (could hear the monitor). Another member of staff appeared and asked if she should fetch him, she was told "no, he'll cry himself to sleep eventually" and then the volume on the monitor was turned down.

I just feel really uneasy now. AIBU to want to pull DD out? Or are my sights set too high? Is this even normal?

I don't even know how to start finding a childminder who'd be open late enough for us, pick up isn't until 6:30 because of work.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 15/09/2017 11:16

Your child is the most precious thing you have so if you feel uncomfortable with the nursery why wouldn't you find somewhere else?

FuzzyOwl · 15/09/2017 11:17

I would have said something there and then and remove my child. That is not the sort of nursery I would be happy with.

2014newme · 15/09/2017 11:18

It sounds bad. The council will give you a list if childminders then contact them to check availability and hours.
Or try a different nursery.
I'd have complained by now but I prefer to raise it when I don't like something and certainly the crying baby would have seen me speak to the manager.

booloobalooloo · 15/09/2017 11:19

I would start looking for another place. That doesn't sound good at all! I think you'd find lots of childminders do wrap around care for school so would be working till 6.30.

Lovingmybear2 · 15/09/2017 11:20

Sounds awful. If they say that in front of you what do they do behind the scenes.

Report your concerns.

I was a cm and worked 7 till 7.

Original poster
Spuddington · 15/09/2017 11:23

I only see the place for 5 minutes a week so I was hoping I was overreacting. I'm going to give them notice and try to find a cm instead.

Feel a bit cheated that they showed me a lovely place before DD started.

OP posts:
Ikabod · 15/09/2017 11:26

Definitely raise your concerns and start looking at other options. Staff ratios for 2-3 year olds is 1:4. Leaving a baby to cry like that in a care setting is questionable and turning the sound down on the monitor is concerning.

www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/day-nurseries gives more details on what you should look out for.

There are times when it's definitely ok to be "one of those parents"!

TeenTimesTwo · 15/09/2017 11:27

It doesn't sound too good to me.

However, I also think that once a week, half a day, isn't frequently enough to get settled. So if you do find an alternate place, maybe use it for longer even if you don't need to?

Lou573 · 15/09/2017 11:30

Not normal. Mine started as a baby and they spent hours rocking her in the buggy for naps rather than leave her to cry.

user1480334601 · 15/09/2017 11:30

I'd complain or report or something. That poor baby :(

Definitely doesn't sound a good nursery

FlyingGiraffeBox · 15/09/2017 11:31

If they're regularly short staffed that's a safeguarding concern isn't it? not sure what the ratios are supposed to be but I don't think 7-to-1 at toddler age is legal. YANBU, take your Dd elsewhere and definitely report it.

ConciseandNice · 15/09/2017 11:36

Take your child out immediately and contact the Care Commision about the baby being left to cry. That's appalling.

I took my son out of his nursery and reported them for similar things. They threatened to take me to court for not giving notice. I said bring it on. After a month or so the whole management had changed along with a number of staff. But.....the kids hadn't . The parents knew what was going on, but they carried on sending their kids! I have no patience for this. It's for them that we go to work and earn money. There must be other options. If you aren't happy, for whatever reason- take your child out.

Please do report!! The parents of that baby would want you to. Controlled crying, no matter any parents view on it, should not be practised at a nursery!

LilyDisney · 15/09/2017 11:41

YANBU

I wouldn't send my child there at all ever again - and I'd be finding the mother of the baby and telling her what happens. AND I'd be reporting them.

ButtMuncher · 15/09/2017 11:45

This is one of my worst nightmares. My son goes 3 full days a week and I worry incessantly about it - he's only a year and a very easy going baby but it still doesn't make me feel better.

I wouldn't hesitate to pull my child out.

Fruitcocktail6 · 15/09/2017 11:51

Are you sure there was only 1 adult to 7 toddlers? If so, please report to Ofsted. The ratio is 1:4 for 2 year olds, so they are operating that room illegally and it is very unsafe.

AmyGardner · 15/09/2017 11:54

Sounds a lot like the nursery my daughter had a narrow escape from. They left a baby lying on the floor crying until I pointed it out.

We found a lovely childminder instead who has been such a godsend.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 15/09/2017 11:57

I pulled my son out of nursery for a slightly similar thing - nursery worker speaking about a baby who wouldn't going to sleep in a really negative way. Basically the kid was pissing her off. While I don't doubt a room full of kids gets on your tits somewhat, if she was behaving like that in front of a new customer then what the hell was she doing when I wasn't there?

Any worries and you take your child away from that setting, as soon as you are able, imo.

I'm not even particularly over zealous about the negatives of non gentle sleep training, but what they were doing to that baby is absolutely horrid.

ineedwine99 · 15/09/2017 12:02

Poor little baby. I would take my child out of a nursery that did that. My daughters nursery is amazing, anyone crying is seen to and cuddled straight away, good number of fantastic staff and lovely rooms.
Hope you find a new nursery or CM to suit

Allthebestnamesareused · 15/09/2017 12:03

Childminders are generally far more flexible with times than nurseries. I would remove my child if I felt uncomfortable. I would also explain why and ask not to have to give the usual notice.

Original poster
Spuddington · 15/09/2017 12:27

I'm ringing round childminders today and booked a visit with another nursery. I'm sure of the staff numbers, there's never enough people there.

OP posts:
ZanyMobster · 15/09/2017 12:34

I have a lot of experience with regards to running these sorts of settings. They are definitely not meeting the early years guidelines regarding the general stuff such as progress reports etc, it is very intense even for that age but your child would potentially be safe even if not challenged etc.

However I would be massively concerned at a ratio of 1:7 for a toddler, 2 yos require 1:4 and 3 yos 1:8 so that's well under. You can't mix them within the ratios either so there has to be enough stuff for each age group if they were separate. I would have called Ofsted immediately as they need reporting for this, even if you are not 100% certain of the age of the children/no of staff as it sounds as if they need looking at ASAP. Please please call Ofsted, the other parents may not be aware that their children are unsafe and will happily leave their children there.

MistyMinge · 15/09/2017 12:53

Go with your instincts. I would feel uneasy too. I also would be reporting them. They need to be checked up on.

However, as a pp said one afternoon once a week is not really enough to make a child feel settled in a nursery setting imo.

Whatamesshaslunch · 15/09/2017 13:05

I'd be sending an email to ofsted...

Original poster
Spuddington · 15/09/2017 13:22

Ofsted were there last month, no idea how long the rating takes to appear.

OP posts:
lairyhegs · 15/09/2017 13:23

Correct ratios are 1:4 2yr olds and 1:8 3/4 yr olds, so the setting may well have been operating within it's legal requirements

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