To think kids don't actually learn anything at preschool

[AnonBCofHate]

It seems like my kid learns a hell of alot more by staying home having a "nothing" rainy day than spending a week at preschool. I don't understand why they don't try more. Now they've sent home a letter saying they are no longer going to teach children to write their names! Which I think is the least they should be doing surely. AIBU to want them to actually teach my child!?

Im sorry but are you not teaching manners from birth? I would never have imagined that people would expect preschool to be where they learn them!

That's genuinely so shocking to me

The only thing they learn being stuck in a room with you, if you don't don't otherwise have meaningful interactions. is that being at home is boring. At least at nursery they will learn soft skills by being around other kids.

OP, of course we are teaching manners at home. But there are social skills that have to be learnt from practice, and it is difficult to replicate the dynamics of a large group at home. It's not just about having good manners but about understanding how to navigate a group setting and feel confident in it. Great skill for later life.

But more than this, I felt that my dc's imagination expanded in the pre-school setting, through the games they played and the stories they hard and the way they were encouraged to do and create things they might never have thought of at home.

As a teacher friend of mine who worked with disadvantaged children once said: there is no point in teaching them to write if they haven't got anything to write about.

You can teach them a lot at home and give them the 1 to 1 care that they won't get in pre school. However they won't get the experience of having to part from you, going to the toilet without you nearby, sharing, being part of a group, listening to instruction as part of an adult, independence.

OP have you ever read the early years Foundation stage framework? Or the development matters document? Both great reads, accessible online.

Maybe you could make an appointment with your child's key worker? Maybe they could give you some insight as to what they do?

No, we're not teaching manners from bith. Newborns aren't very good at please and thank you.

Your child's key worker should also have evidence or a tracking document that shows the progress and development of your child since they've been attending.

And what about the many other things people have been pointing out that your child is learning? Manners is the only thing you pick up on?
Research shows that kids do better when formal learning is delayed in favour of teaching the social and physical skills that need to be in place first. This can be done at home if you give your child enough of your time and plenty of opportunity to socialise or they can learn the skills they need in a preschool setting. Formal teaching of things like reading and writing is not recommended at preschool age either at home or at preschool. The exception would be if a child was particularly interested and wanted to learn but that is rarely the case. Preschool would not stop your dd from practising writing her name but it won't be formally taught and that is a positive thing.

My DDs both loved nursery! DD2 in particular needed it as she was soooo clingy, and it was a nightmare leaving her anywhere, she'd cry and hold onto me. But she's come on in leaps and bounds and trots away from me now and goes into school with her friends. She would never have been able to do that without her pre-school experience.

She did learn to write her name, though, and did some phonics.

I'm guessing you don't know much about pedagogy and how children learn.

Ah, OP, you must be one of those people who have a qualification or are some sort of authority in toddler education. Naturally, because of this experience and expertise you've gained in your years of study and work, you know better than the staff at pre-school.

Why not go and have a meeting with the head teacher, show them a few pointers!

What do you expect them to do with a three year old? Have them recite their times tables???

What everyone else said - especially about social skills, independence, being part of a group and listening to a teacher. Hard to teach those 1:1 at home.

However, I'd also say you have picked the wrong pre school. Our DDs' is quite "academic" and they generally come out knowing the first phonics stages (s a t p i n etc) and how to read and write their name plus CVC words and do very simple sums. Maybe look at other pre schools which fit your aims better?

@Iheartjordanknight

Just from us reading to him, I guess. I mean, he had alphabet, colour and shape books that we read to him, but I never sat down and did flash cards or "practised" or tested him in any way. He just has a really good memory for that sort of thing. The reading he literally picked up by himself – he started recognising words like "Stop" and "Open" on signs, and went from there.

By comparison, we read to my DD, who is 3, in the same way, but she barely knows any letters or numbers (though I think she knows all the shapes). Just not interested in the same way.

My DD loved nursery. She's an only child BTW. They learn to play with others, share, improve social skills. Build their immune systems (the ones that didn't go to nursery or very regular playgroup sessions are always off with bugs in the first year!)
They learn colours, numbers, shapes, songs. It's a chance to do messy craft activities which they proudly bring home.
They develop some independence - again, a lot of the children that didn't go to nursery had real problems for the first few weeks, in terms of letting go at the gate. Some were still crying daily by Christmas & the parents having to settle them in the classroom each day - can't imagine how that would work if you needed to dash off for work.

I don't think they are supposed to learn reading and writing.

Ours said they wanted them to learn to go to the loo on their own, do up their coats and put shoes on, be able to dress themselves and eat with cutlery.

Not teaching them at that age is a missed opportunity.
All of the most successful education systems in the world don't teach academically until they are older - as old as 7!
It's not wasted time, it's precious time that is so much better used to develop other skills.
At that age, it's all about play.

You sound a bit dim op

You can teach a child to say please and thank you from "birth"
But children also need to learn to take turns, be kind, helpful, friendly etc

Pre school is perfect for a 3 year to learn to share, play along side others, sit still for more than 2 minutes
What's so hard for you to understand?

Teaching them to read and write is a missed opportunity to develop the foundation skills discussed on here. Children with poor social skills at age 4 generally struggle for life. Children who can't write their name at age 4 generally learn to write it at age 5.

Preschool is just expensive babysitting

You're paying these people to take your DC from you while you have a child free few hours

You wouldn't expect your babysitter to teach your child how to read and write and swim and cook and build a rocket from tin foil

YABU, an if you're so bothered take them out and 'teach' them yourself

You don't pay for preschool proseccoMadam

Now I understand why teachers/nursery teachers have such a hard time.

"Pre-school" kind of gives it away.

It's not a school. Why would anyone want to sent their children to anything like a school at three years old.

Up to the age of 5 or 6 a child should be playing, exploring.

Wtas. My 3yo ate her school lunch in the dining Hall with the big kids and that whole process of lining up to go in, choosing your food, carrying your tray and scraping your plate meant she wasn't terrified of doing it in Reception. Just one example of many but it's that kind of thing that's invaluable - learning how school works before they start

"All of the most successful education systems in the world don't teach academically until they are older - as old as 7!"

Is there any evidence if this? Because tbh in my mind seems like the Chinese in school from 7am-4pm at 4 years old sort of achieve more generally than than chilled swedes.

iheartjordanknight yes in fact people do pay for pre school as I am one of them! My dd has just turned 2 and I don't receive benefits so I do actually pay £15 a session.

Anyway agree with poster up thread who said that op is a little dim if they can't realise the objective of attending pre school.