To think my boyfriend is being unfair?

[Scuzzlet]

I am so angry I don't even know where to start. And hurt actually.

So. I have no holidays left to take at work, having started at the company a few months ago. I have actually just took a £204 hit from my last pay because I had holidays booked but not enough accrued to cover.

He has an event next month that he would like me to attend, and I stated I only have a half day left so he said he didn't want me to take it unpaid and it's not even that important anyway and it will be shit so don't worry. He only asked me this yesterday afternoon.

He said to me THIS afternoon that he was no longer going and cancelled his place. And then had a little dig tonight saying that I don't want to go but he still has to go to pick up his certificates. I was upset by this because I never once said that I didnt want to go! I just said it would be difficult. And now apparent my place is cancelled and he can't do anything about it and I can no longer come.... even if I sort the time off.

I don't think this is very fair, he cancelled his place now he can go but I can't be put back on the list? It doesn't make sense. I feel like he's trying to make me feel awful.

Certificates? What is the event?

I'm a bit confused. It doesn't seem a big deal to me, so you don't have the holiday (how have you used your while entitlement in two months btw??) So you couldn't go, but now you're annoyed because he's cancelled his place? Sorry if that's wrong

Your post is so confusing, OP. I have no idea what's going on!

It's so hard to explain.

So.. I was invited to be a plus one to my boyfriends graduation for his apprenticeship yesterday afternoon.

I can't take anymore time off work unpaid so I said I wasn't sure what I could do.

Now for some reason he's hastily cancelled my place and won't see if he can undo it no matter what I say.

But you can't take the time off anyway?? So you couldn't go?
I'm not sure I see the problem, sorry. He obviously just took you on face value when you said you couldn't go.

What exactly did you say to him? Perhaps he got the impression you couldn't go?

I can't take anymore time off UNLESS unpaid* I meant! Ha. But I feel like he's been really hasty and hasn't even given me the time to sort it out. If I'd have done that to him I would feel like I was the one at fault. But then again I always hedge my bets with this kind of stuff. I wouldn't have gone ahead and cancelled his place a day later.

His graduation from his apprenticeship would have been a big deal for him and obviously he would have wanted you there. How on Earth have you used up all your holiday entitlement in two months? Did you not know that this event was coming?

Sorry, a few months.

I would, personally, take the time off unpaid if this was for my DH. It's a big event and one he'll be proud of; he probably feels like you haven't supported him, hence cancelling your place and refusing to reinstate it because he thinks you're now just paying lipservice.

Not many of us can afford to take a hundreds of pounds hit and then lose more to go to a graduation on top. Bills still have to be paid and people still have to eat.

He only asked OP yesterday and has cancelled her place today. That gives her fuck all time to work out if she can afford to do it or to talk her work about leave maybe working shorter lunches/a little longer for a few days to make the time up.

I'd just go to work and get paid. Sod him. He's being unnecessarily dramarific.

Unless he's storming around in a temper or doing something else that the OP has yet to tell us, it seems to me that she is the one being "dramarific". He has taken her at her word that she can't go, cancelled it and now doesn't want to call back shortly afterwards to undo the cancelation, while she is " so angry she doesn't know where to start".

"I am so angry I don't even know where to start."

This seems a little over the top.