to not want my teenage son to spend £140 on a pair of shoes

[ShooShoey]

He's 14 and really likes clothes/fashion, which is fair enough. He has a few nice pieces of clothes but is limited by cash thank goodness.

The latest thing is he wants to buy some shoes that cost £140. His last pair cost £110 and were torn on his bicycle within two weeks.

I have worked all my life and never spent this much on shoes or boots so am struggling with the whole idea. I have tried to get him to reconsider by saying that he is still growing and he will have outgrown them in a year, but its falling on deaf ears so I am letting him get on with it.

I can't stop him since he is using the last of his own savings/pocket money but I just can't get my head around it. We live in an area (or is it a time?) where alot of his peers seem a bit obssessed with clothes and designer bx.

AIBU? Any thoughts?

I think you just have to accept that to him, those shoes are worth that amount of money. It seems mad to me too, but it's his money that he's saved. It's not as if he's asking you to buy them.

Designer stuff isn't everyone's thing, but each to their own.

It is crazy but it is his money. Don't let him plead poverty afterwards though and have you paying out to make up for his cash flow problems.

Unfortunately that's not an uncommon price for a pair of trendy trainers these days!
If it's his own money then let him spend it, surely it's better than spending it in Nando's and on pic n mix!

I guess, I have accepted it finally, it is his money, so no more lectures from me. He will have about £5 left though - I like the term "cash flow problems" and will use this phrase should this occur!

Let him. It's his money and if they don't last long he'll feel the sting. These life lessons are important

If it's his money I think you have to let him decide if they're worth it. As a teen I was really into certain fashion houses and would rather spend a years worth of pocket money on one thing than buying endless stuff from cheaper places. My Dad especially would have an absolute dicky fit but I think saving up for something you genuinely, desperately love is a good life lesson.

If it's his money then it's up to him I say ...

My partner would spend amounts like that on clothes no problem so I probably don't see it as a massive deal.

I also spend £300+ on handbags and my last purse cost £125 so I'm probably not the best to talk to.

If he has the spare money then it's up to him :)

He's only 14, if he's like this now believe me it gets worse, I have a 21yr old who has always seemed to be into the more expensive things from he was no age, it has been hard having to say no on many occasion but now he's grown up he does buy his own stuff (still expensive) most of the time but you have to learn that when they come crying to you to borrow money for one thing or another you have to say no if they have spent it all on like 1 or 2 things.

It's all about fitting in at that age. He may genuinely like them or it may be the latest thing and those trainers will be seen on instagram.

It's his money BUT if he chooses to spend it and then wants money for something else in no way should you sub him because he has spent it all on shoes. Actions equals consequences. Just give him what you would usually.