Not broody

[loaferloveforyou]

I've come to a point in my life which is the "ideal time" to have a baby. By that I mean recently bought a house, got married and the next logical step is to have a baby. And I do want a baby although a big part of me is more looking forward to a year of maternity leave mostly looking after the baby.

So until tonight I was looking forward to trying for a baby (we have looked at finances and April 2018 seems the right time). So I started to get excited thinking this time next year I could be pregnant.

But, a close colleague/friend came in work today with their 6 week old and I could not be less bothered. Before we "set a date" for trying, I was so so broody. Now I just feel neural to the whole baby thing.

My friends think it's because it's becoming for real for me, I'm worried that deep down I just aren't bothered about kids.

Did anyone else get less broody when trying to conceive became a real life possibility?

How old are you?

Are you both going to work after DC? For many mothers, having DC can affect our working lives and earnings negatively, and aa sheryl sandberg (and xenia) say, much depends on whether your H will share domestic work, parenting and time off.

I didn't feel broody before I had dcs, in fact I felt quite the opposite. I think the decision to have my first was largely to do with my age. It was a now or never thing and I realised I didn't want to be childless with no choice to change that.

Being a parent is life changing. I love it, but not everyone does so think carefully about what will change for you.

Other people's babies never made me broody.

But my DD is the best thing that ever happened to me.

I never really felt broody and I didn't really enjoy my maternity leave, it was bloody hard work. In no way does this mean I didn't want a child, the pregnancy and baby bit are a tiny bit of their life and your relationship. I now have a beautiful 20 month old who is so much fun, I enjoy being back at work part time and I am 6 months pregnant with number 2. Go for it if you want a family.

You need to be really careful. 'It's the logical next step' is not a good reason to bring new life into the world.

I wasn't broody but me and DH had just got married, we were financially stable and just into our 30s so having a baby just seemed like the next logical step. When our son came along though we absolutely loved the bones of him.

I was very, very broody for number 2 though

Ps) don't buy in to the idea that being off for Maternity is fun though as it can be bloody hard work, big physically and emotionally.

I'm 37, pregnant with first baby. I knew I wanted kids but never felt broody. I had lots of reservations about it. I spent a good number of years going round the houses about it, to the extent that my partner (who wanted kids) said he'd prioritise us being together over kids. He was quite prepared for it never to happen. Then one day it was like something clicked in my head, and I just knew it would be fine. Within a year I was pregnant. I was fully expecting it to be potentially tricky as I'm older but it was FINE. I needed to have that little mental shift. I have never experienced the need that some of my friends described.

Yes, it's not a "next step", it's a massive life change! In a way other things, marriage etc are just not. Can test relationships big time.

I have two young DC who I adore with all my heart.
I was never broody! I knew I wanted children at some point and we were at a decent stage in our lives to go for it, so we did. I never had an overwhelming urge for a baby, and other people's babies didn't (and still don't) invoke any broodiness in me!

Don't do it just to have a year off work! That year is hard!

I'm pregnant now (age 29, like you just married and bought a house) and still not broody! Never really have been. Whilst I love meeting my friends' children and more than happy to hold/play with them, I've never had that 'I need a child' drive that they talked about and secretly find young babies pretty dull. However, I've always known that I definitely want a family, and love the idea of my husband and I with our children in the future. Just not that bothered about the baby stage...I'm looking forward to when our children are old enough to interact with us and be a proper family unit. I figure I'll get through the (necessary!) baby stage, and that hopefully maternal instinct will kick in over the next few months before bump arrives!

Oh, I know loads of parents who aren't interested in other people's babies at all and never have been. It doesn't mean they didn't want children of their own. I have a friend who has two lovely grown-up kids she adores and she loved being a mum when they were little but she would freely admit that she has never had a broody impulse in her life.

I could have written your post OP!!
No interest at all in anyone else's baby. Great lifestyle of luxury holidays and meals out. Knew I wanted children but not at all broody. When I did fall pregnant I was so shocked I didn't tell my DH for a week. Now I have 2 DC and they are without doubt the best things in my life. You don't have to lose yourself when you have children. I think that's what I was scared of. Anyway, I still am not bothered by anyone else's babies

I don't much like babies, I loved mine but I think they are so much better now they are DC. I really wanted a family, I knew I wanted children but other people's babies have never done much for me. If you don't want DC I wouldn't have them but I would worry if you don't feel much for other people's babies and you still want your own DC.

Damm, I meant I wouldn't worry

I've never felt exactly 'broody' even though I've always wanted to have children. I adore my own children, one of whom is still a baby, but I still have very little interest in anybody else's. If that's all it was, I wouldn't worry about it at all!

I never felt broody - we knew we wanted to have a chid, the time was right and so we went for it. I never had (and still don't have) any broody feelings around friends' babies, and while I adore DD, I've never been all that interested in anyone else's children/babies. I wouldn't worry about it.

I never felt broody, ever. Even going in for induction for our much planned and wanted DS. Still don't coo over others babies.

Mine is the absolute centre of my universe, my entire world. Don't put too much thought into the broody feeling

other people's babies are not the same as you own babies. I wouldn't worry about it.

I wasn't broody but tried for a baby and got pregnant straight away. I was happy but blase about it then had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. It was only then that I realised how much I wanted a baby. It took a while to get pregnant after that. I love my DD and am so glad i had her. My view might be different to other people's but i think you should start trying in April, it might not happen straight away anyway.

I don't have kids, but my best mate who does still has no broodiness or protective maternal instincts for any child but her own. She also finds it bizarre that I like her kids as I normally share the same opinion. Even as tiny babies they didn't make me broody, but i love seeing them now they're small people.

I didn't get broody before I had a baby of my own. In fact, the first time I ever got that broody feeling was about three weeks after having my first, I remember thinking "yep, can't wait to do this all over again."

You don't need to feel that gushing desire to plan a family. I'd say it's more important to consider the practicalities actually, that way you know it's your head making the important decisions and not your heart.

Thanks for all your replies. It's really reassuring. I know I am ready for a baby but was thrown by the lack of broodyness.

Until having a baby became a reality I was broody all the time.

Thanks to everyone who replied. I can't answer anyone individually but for those who asked I am 34.