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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pregnant and arguing

2 replies

Noname101 · 13/09/2017 22:17

DH and I have had a big row tonight. He works in one of the emergency services and is going to miss a very important family occasion: pretty standard but I was pissed off because he has only today sent me his shift pattern clearly showing that he's working: he didn't have the foresight to figure out himself that he'd miss it and I've been under the impression that he was on an early shift that day.

Usually, I'm pretty good at taking a deep breath and thinking things through before I open my mouth but I'm 34 weeks pregnant, working full time and fucking tired. So I made a barbed comment about his admin being in shit state and generally bemoaned the fact that the mental load always falls to me.

Dear god, do I wish I hadn't. He has gone verbally fucking mental: he then does the typically ignorant thing of making wildly over the top statements: 'even if I do 100 things perfectly and one thing wrong, you always just assume that I'm fucking useless' etc etc. Not true completely but I also recognise that if I didn't organise most of the things in this house, we wouldn't be paying any bills or getting a Tesco delivery once a week.

I said tonight that I'm so bloody thankful that my pregnancy has been smooth sailing because had I been bed bound or ill or even just emotional, he would not have cut me an inch of slack. I got upset and cried (which I basically never do) and was immediately accused of forcing crocodile tears and now he's totally refusing to engage with me at all.

WIBU to tell him to grow the fuck up, stop acting like a pathetic child and throw his computer out the fucking window? (I won't do this because it's heavy but I'd like to.)

OP posts:
Dontknowwherethelineis · 14/09/2017 00:38

My oh was/is exactly like this. I don't have much advice as I'm often in a total state of confusion as to what to do myself but have a think about/prepare for this to continue after the baby is born, as it's hurtful to go through labour, give birth to this amazing creature, and have the baby's dad - like you say- 'not cut you an inch of slack' a few days later when you're physically in pain, hormones all over the place and goodness knows what else.

I'm Not trying to be doom and gloom and he might step up. I'm just a big believer in being prepared for these things acting as a bit of self-protection and emotional resilience could be key post-birth x

Queenofthestress · 14/09/2017 07:38

Honestly, I had someone like this, didnt do sod all during labour, he went home off the ward within 2 hours to go out with his mates, he made it to 4 months in before I got rid, most freeing thing I've ever done!

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