AIBU to not want my children around her?

[Helpmegetoverthisplease]

DH goes to watch DSS play sport every Saturday and Sunday. This has been fine in the past and if it's clashed with something I've arranged he'll take our 3 young DC with him.

Recently I've found out that the OW who caused a lot of problems for us has started going along to watch her DC play. DH assures me they don't speak other than exchange pleasantries but I really don't want my DC anywhere near her.

The thought of her still makes me feel awful and if there is no need for my children to be around her then why should they be? Last time I saw her was when I found out about everything and the thought of her being there where DH is is bad enough but I trust he won't go there again. I don't know how much I believe that he's only saying the odd 'hi' though and I have a feeling that if she did ever approach him for a longer chat he wouldn't see the harm in that and that's why I don't want my DC where she is.

DH cannot understand why I'm being like this and I've tried to explain but I'm not doing a great job of it. It's not about the principal but more about the knot in my stomach when I think of them having anything to do with the woman who very nearly destroyed their parents marriage. I've come a long way and part of my way of coping is to keep away as I think I'd just go to pieces if I was ever face to face with her.

Do AIBU in not wanting my DC around her? And AIBU to ask that for just one weekend DH can look after the DC and miss one match? DSS is an adult and doesn't need DH there for lifts etc DH will happily miss a match to go to something he wants but I never really get a break or time to do anything for me.

This is why it's a bad idea to forgive a cheater. Apart from the fact that if they loved you enough in the first place they wouldn't have done it, it can never be undone, hurts for as long as you remain together and the trust never fully returns. The fact he doesn't understands how you feel shows a lack of respect.
OP, she didn't nearly break up your marriage. He did.

I don't understand why you're less bothered about him seeing her than you are about your kids. Your kids won't notice she exists, her own son is much older so there's no reason at all why they'd interact.

Logically, it's better for your kids to be there. They can hardly get cosy with three little ones standing by.

But obviously, your feelings are not logical. I think you need to readdress the issues brought up by your husbands cheating.

They were making plans to raise one of your children together - I can understand completely why you wouldn't want her around them. Can you make it your DPs responsibility to find them childcare? These matches will be boring and cold for them but it is a fantastic bonding activity for your DP and DSS.

I would be more annoyed that he thinks it's ok to have any sort of conversation with her.

You are not U! I can't believe he thinks casual chit chat is ok either. I'd expect him to be convincing me that he would never say a word to her again. I also wouldn't want my children anywhere near her.