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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wish I'd told this woman to do one?

25 replies

Dazedandalittleconfused · 13/09/2017 16:51

So this afternoon at the school gates I bump into another mum I know vaguely, who then stares at my 3 yr old ds before remarking 'ooh he looks far to big to be in that ' .
Nosy cow in question doesn't know my life story , but she does know that I'm on my own pretty much full time, have three dc's to ferry about and have no bloody car . My 3 yr old is the size of a 4 year old and weighs a ton (not fat, just tall) and walks LOADS but by the afternoon he's tired and either runs off near a main road or does that wretched jelly legs act and refuses to walk, is far too heavy to carry especially as i have a bad back!
At the time I just simpered something about him being at an 'awkward' stage but I now find myself feeling more and more pissed off at this woman, really wish i'd been assertive enough to say the truth 'im doing what makes my life easier so mind your own business and fuck off
Ahhhh that feels better!!!

OP posts:

SillyMoomin · 13/09/2017 16:54

in what?

A pushchair?? A pram? A pumpkin on wheels?

Regardless, ignore the idiot woman and just crack on

TobleroneBoo · 13/09/2017 16:54

Too old to be in what?

Notreallyarsed · 13/09/2017 16:56

DS2 is 3 and taller than DD who is 4. Until very recently he was in the buggy on the nursery run because he'd do that sodding jelly legs thing and refuse to walk, or worse do a runner and the route we have to take is along several very busy roads. I got a few sniffy comments and just ignored them. Twats.

kaytee87 · 13/09/2017 16:56

Oh come on I think it's obvious op is talking about a pushchair.
Op yanbu but I think you need to let it go.

Original poster

Dazedandalittleconfused · 13/09/2017 16:57

Sorry , yes haha , a buggy!! I mean nobody ever says anything about kids who are driven around in cars the whole time!

OP posts:

Notreallyarsed · 13/09/2017 16:58

Fair point OP!

CigarsofthePharoahs · 13/09/2017 17:00

I have a 3 year old.
I'd love to be able to throw away out buggy, but I can't. I try and walk to my older child's school as much as possible. It's just slightly too far for the 3 year old to go there and back.
He also has a nap sometimes in the afternoon at pick up time and no way am I carrying his heavy weight up the road!
My eldest didn't need a buggy from 3, but I wasn't having to do anything like the same amount of walking.

NancyDonahue · 13/09/2017 17:01

'You're too old to make rude judgemental comments'

Original poster

Dazedandalittleconfused · 13/09/2017 17:04

Nancy love that!

OP posts:

Ttbb · 13/09/2017 17:08

It's tones like this that o realise that I am a complete bitch on the inside. My immediate thought when I read this was to respond with 'You look far too big to be in that.' Thank god I'm an antisocial hermit.

MrsJamesAspey · 13/09/2017 17:17

A friend of mine used to make her son walk everywhere at that age and was very snobbish about people using buggies but she was happy to walk at 1 mile an hour, I used the buggy because I didn't have the time to fart arse around cajoling kids to walk faster when I needed to be somewhere.

Who gives a shit what other people think you don't have to explain yourself to anyone.

just5morepeas · 13/09/2017 17:23

My 3 year old still goes in the buggy on the school run.

Sometimes he walks but I wouldn't want to be without it quite yet. It also works well as a threat - "if you don't walk with Mummy you'll be going in the pushchair."

As you say, no one says anything about kids who never walk anywhere but go straight from house to car to house again. Not that I'm judgemental of course!

Original poster

Dazedandalittleconfused · 13/09/2017 17:26

These responses have made me feel much better , thank goodness for normal non judgmental people! Its the rudeness of it all that annoyed me so much. Why feel the need to comment?! If people must judge, do it in silence

OP posts:

stitchglitched · 13/09/2017 17:32

My DS has always been very tall and big for his age, when he was 3 he looked about 5! He was always a good walker but I would happily put him in the pushchair at the end of a long day or for a quick run to the shops. He has additional needs too and sometimes I just needed to keep him safely contained so I could get on. I got the odd comment, funnily enough from people who drove their kids everywhere. We didn't even have a car so I can guarantee DS walked far more than their child.

Llamacorn · 13/09/2017 17:36

How rude to comment on that, there could be a number of reasons why he is still in a pushchair. Did she mean too big to be in a pushchair, or too big to be in that specific pushchair? You know how come kids can look a bit squished...

My dd3 was in a buggy until around 5/6 due to her disability - she was still small enough to fit in a regular pushchair so I didn't need a special needs one, but if someone actually made that comment to me I would most certainly set the record straight. Not that you would need to justify your reasons to her, or anybody else.

carefreeeee · 13/09/2017 17:57

Anyone who walks any distance with a 4 year old would have sympathy with the need for a buggy at this age. Can only assume this rude and judgey person goes everywhere by car?

isadoradancing123 · 13/09/2017 18:05

Stupid woman, ignore her judgement

BlackeyedSusan · 13/09/2017 18:10

I took my school child back to school to do pick up in the pushchair.
had been in reception class in the morning and was shattered and would not wake up. did the trying to stand them up to wake them thing... nope. could not carry them so in the pushchair they went, fast asleep.

Justgivemesomepeace · 13/09/2017 18:12

My first thought was the similar to Ttbb' s. My head would be saying 'Yeah? Well you look to big to be in that coat but I'm too polite to say.' What would probably come out of my mouth would be 'Aww thanks for your thoughts. Now shove em up your arse.' Neither polite but neither was she and I've no patience for arses like that any more.

Undercoverbanana · 13/09/2017 18:17

Absolutely none of her business. Your DC could have been unwell, disabled, have an injury that made them unable to walk...... People spend way too much time with their beaks in other people's lives. I'd have replied "And that is your business why, please?"

Pennywhistle · 13/09/2017 18:18

I once had this said to me about my DS by a stranger "he's too big to be in that buggy"

I asked her how old she though he was and she said "four?" When I replied that he was only two and a half but tall for his age she said
"Well I wasn't to know that was I?"

I just said "Quite" and stared her down. She blushed and hurried off. It was very satisfying.

EsperanzaDesperanza · 13/09/2017 18:20

DS isn't even 3 and I seem to be finding myself explaining why he's in the buggy sometimes on the school run (it's mainly because he's a bit of a turd who doesn't like to walk in the actual direction we need to be going in).
I annoy myself. I'd like to just say piss off. And it's often the ones with cars who comment on him not walking even though realistically it's a few afternoons/mornings a week...like when it's raining, or when I need to go straight to somewhere else, or when his legs have just stopped working

RandomMess · 13/09/2017 18:36

We walked a lot so get where you're coming from.

I did silently despair of the parent who let her reception child use the pushchair from the playground to the car and vice versa no special needs she freely admitted "she's so lazy and I want the DC to like me and be their friend"

Parent was s primary school teacher, interesting family!

HazelBite · 13/09/2017 18:55

At least your child walks OP.
I live very near a primary school, and I have come to the conclusion that very few children walk to school anymore.
The Mums deliver their small children in a huge armoured tank like 4x4's to the school. The traffic jam takes an hour to clear, even though the local sports club allows them to park there no-ones driveway is safe, because its too far for them to walk from the car park to the school.

purpledonkey · 13/09/2017 19:49

My 3.5year old DS always wants to be in the buggy. And I let him or I'm constantly wandering at toddler pace.
I couldn't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks and nor should you OP.

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