Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Colleague's child at meetings

71 replies

poisoningpidgeysinthepark · 13/09/2017 14:12

I work in a small and relatively informal company.

My boss brings her three-year old child to our meetings about twice a week. The child is not exactly quiet or well behaved, so most of the meetings are spent either running around trying to contain the inevitable destruction of the office or being unable to speak/listen because of the noise.

As I am the next person down, my colleagues keep moaning to me that 'someone should do something about the situation'. They are already voting with their feet and making up excuses not to attend meetings when they know the child will be there. I think they're right - it is affecting our ability to do our job, and it's not exactly professional on my boss's part.

I don't know how to broach it though. My boss doesn't seem completely oblivious about the disruption (gets up and tries to contain the child, makes futile attempts to shush), but she is obviously used to her child's antics and doesn't mind herself, and everyone is too polite to complain to her face to face.

WIBU to ask my boss to find some kind of solution? How? I'm a bit of a coward my boss is scary and I'm struggling with this.

OP posts:

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 13/09/2017 16:37

"my boss just likes having her child around and doesn't want work to get in the way of their time together"

That's fine, but what about her colleagues who find "their time together" is getting in the way of their own work?

If her child is causing the rest of you to be less productive at work , you have a totally reasonalbe complaint

BewareOfDragons · 13/09/2017 16:38

Wait. She has a SAHD as a partner, yet she's still taking her child to work and into meetings? That's ridiculous. And unfair to the staff.

pigsDOfly · 13/09/2017 16:42

Unless the company has a creche children do not belong in the workplace. And why should anyone have to offer to look after this woman's child. it's not a nursery.

If women want to be taken seriously in their efforts to break through the glass ceiling they are going to have to be seen to be committing to the idea of working and keeping their minds on the job not multi tasking and doing child care at the same time as working. If it's your own company that's your prerogative, but if you're working for someone else I would be very surprised to find that they'd be happy for mothers to be running after their children while being paid to do a job of work, especially if it is disturbing other staff who are also there to work.

Be interesting to know how many companies would be happy for their senior men to be chasing after their small children during office meetings, and come to that how many men would do it.

5rivers7hills · 13/09/2017 16:44

Completely crazy.

"Hi Boss. Please can we have a chat about the semi-weekly [finance] meetings? You seem to be bringing [child] to the meetings, and the team are finding it difficult to focus on the agenda with [child] in the room. Can we look at rescheduling to a more convenient time for you, or can you look at arranging child care?"

FrancisCrawford · 13/09/2017 16:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 13/09/2017 16:47

Why would she do that? It doesn't make sense! She's not spending time with her daughter in any meaningful way if she's chasing her around the office.

Why not ask if meetings can be scheduled at times when her daughter's not in?

mishfish · 13/09/2017 16:47

I think someone brace needs to bring it up in a non confrontational way. Explain how it effects the performance and concentration of other team members and as a result the meetings are pointless.

If she still continues to bring her child, I would then refuse to attend the meetings and suggest other team members do the same

Curtainsider · 13/09/2017 16:47

I'd look to leave but then I'm hopeless at conflict!

In the meantime a bag of crisps sounds about right.

AlternativeTentacle · 13/09/2017 16:49

most of the meetings are spent either running around trying to contain the inevitable destruction of the office or being unable to speak/listen because of the noise.

A - I would not be the one containing any destruction
B - just keep saying 'pardon', 'can you repeat that', 'sorry, what was that decision, I didn't catch it' every time. Or just stop talking until the noise stops.

Marcipex · 13/09/2017 16:51

Your op says it's a colleague s child.
Now it's your bosses child.
The two things are completely different.
If you otherwise like/want to work there, keep out of it. Complaining won't end well. Not in the long term.

AllToadsLeadToHome · 13/09/2017 16:53

If one person would walk out every time there was disruption, perhaps others would follow.

Just walk off and do some work, ask the person with the child to take notes for you to read later.

It is a work environment not a nursery.

pigsDOfly · 13/09/2017 16:55

Just imagine if everyone did this.

Nothing would get done.

In fact taking your sheep in, as a pp suggested, would probably cause a lot less disruption as it would just sit there chewing quietly - as long as you brought in a small patch of grass of course.

Oblomov17 · 13/09/2017 17:01

PLEASE take a sheep.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/09/2017 17:01

ToneDeaf. Are you saying you think the situation with the op is fine? As in the 3 yr old disrupting the meeting?

This is totally inappropriate. And staff ar eventually going to walk, taking skills and expertise with them. If you are going to broach the subject, I would use the angle that your some members of your team are unhappy about the situation and you are concerned they may decide to find alternative employment, which would affect the business.

Marcipex · 13/09/2017 17:03

I did once take a dog to a meeting.....very quiet old small dog, and I took a blanket for him to sit on. The heating was broken at home. He'd been freezing all day.
All hell broke out. It was quite funny.

Sprinklestar · 13/09/2017 17:08

It's totally unprofessional. However well behaved (or not) a three yr old may be, a workplace meeting is not the place for them. Three yr olds want to do three yr old things, like run around and play and cause chaos and be loud. Perfectly natural. Taking them into an important meeting is just a recipe for disaster.

ToneDeafHamster · 13/09/2017 17:10

Mummuoflittledragon - I said that I take my own 3 year old into work with me, and if my staff didn't like it, it would be too bad. However we are a small family run business and our staff enjoy my child being around every now and then. So, in my situation, it is fine, yes.

The situation in the OP is not the same as mine, seemingly, however, if the child belongs to the boss and she owns the business (still not clarified just how high up she is) then I doubt that there is much the other staff can do. She obviously has permission to bring her child in. 3 years olds can be easily occupied, mine watches episodes of Bing on iplayer for instance. I personally think the OP is on a hiding to nowhere really as it is her Boss, not a colleague.

MatildaTheCat · 13/09/2017 17:11

'Hi Boss, I've been asked by several members of staff to raise something with you which is causing difficulties at work. Bringing a child into our meetings is making it extremely difficult for staff to focus and use the time productively. Would it be possible to alter your arrangements to allow this time to be child free or even adjust the timings of the meetings if this causes you a problem? I'm conscious that staff are becoming increasingly unhappy about this so I do hope we can find a solution that works for us all.'

Would this work? Maybe her partner has a commitment that means she's stuck with her child at these times so offer to change the meetings until she can be child free.

Aeviternity · 13/09/2017 17:14

That is insane. It has nothing to do with "encouraging women into work" because women are not some weird subspecies who need their snotty toddlers running around the office at all times. It's completely unthinkable. Anyone who is going to demand the office becomes their own personal playground and everyone has to bow down to their little emperor doesn't deserve a job.

I'd go above her and complain. She needs a dose of reality. She'll probably be happy to tell people she was 'forced' out of a hostile workplace and can sit on breakfast TV claiming Tallulah-Belle's insights into corporate finance were actually very precocious.

Belleende · 13/09/2017 17:16

I completely support flexible arrangements for working parents, but I draw the line at bringing kids into the workplace.

Across my team we have 6 preschool aged children. Should I welcome them all into meetings, or is that a perk only for the boss?

Anecdoche · 13/09/2017 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lottapianos · 13/09/2017 17:22

Sounds like a sheep would be WAY quieter and easier to contain

OP, I think this is actually outrageous. I assumed that it was a childcare issue and was about to tell you that her childcare issues are her problem, and you absolutely don't need to put up with disrupted meetings to accommodate her. But she takes the 3 year old to meetings because she can't bear to be parted from her darling?! Absolutely no way! It's a WORKPLACE and the rest of you have WORK to do. As your boss, I would have thought she would be taking that seriously. You're absolutely entitled to make a request that she leaves her child out of the workplace, and I can't believe she has the nerve to put any of you in this position in the first place. Good luck!

Slimthistime · 13/09/2017 17:22

I wouldn't be able to work like that.

clearly she has been told by a higher up that it's okay so I wonder if it's better if someone approaches mgmt on behalf of the group?

I dread this sort of thing happening to me at some point in future - it's not the first I've heard of it and one person upthread says they own the business for example. I can imagine it's something I might bump into if I work for a small company again.

Slimthistime · 13/09/2017 17:23

PS I want to spend more time with my mum and best mate but I wouldn't bring them to work!!!!

PigletJohn · 13/09/2017 17:24

Is it Ivanka?

Flip

1 2 3