Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To want a bit of space in the changing room

19 replies

user1485342611 · 13/09/2017 11:14

I was swimming earlier today. There was just two people in a large communal changing room. A third person came in and decided to use the locker just two down from me, so that we were almost on top of each other trying to get changed.
I ended up gathering up my stuff and moving to another area while she carried on oblivious.

This is not the first time this has happened.

AIBU to not understand why some people can't respect other people's space in a half empty changing room?

OP posts:

LaContessaDiPlump · 13/09/2017 11:16

This is like the car parking and beach thing. Big empty car park/beach - some bastard comes and sits on top of you because they are scared of the Lonely.

I hate it too!

Idontevencareanymore · 13/09/2017 11:18

Yanbu. I can't bear it.
It's really silly but I need space from people. Like when you use the toilets and loads empty and someone uses the one right next to you. Makes me nervous.

DonkeyPunch88 · 13/09/2017 11:21

Agreed! Some people really have no concept of personal space, and double yes to the car park thing also. I always end up with someone parked so close I can't open the doors properly in an empty car park

ShiftyLookingBadger · 13/09/2017 11:24

Why do people do this? I went to the cinema once with DP, DP went to get a drink and some random sat NEXT to me, in an almost EMPTY CINEMA. DP headed back and pointed at him in confusion wondering if perhaps I'd bumped into an old friend We moved. The guy then GOT UP and moved next to 2 unsuspecting women who put up with his weird presence for the entire film (he sat there in silence however). Maybe he was lonely.

Some people don't understand boundaries

Ttbb · 13/09/2017 11:27

That might just be the locker she usually uses to avoid forgetting where she put her stuff. I usually use the same part of the changing room so I don't take as long finding my things.

Original poster

user1485342611 · 13/09/2017 11:29

That might be handy for you Ttbb, but it's invasive for the unfortunate person who happens to be already getting dressed/undressed right beside your usual locker.

OP posts:

Kazzyhoward · 13/09/2017 11:29

Some people don't understand boundaries

I go on a few courses for work and it's the same there. Even where there are loads of empty tables, there's usually some random prat who comes and sits right next to me, not just the same table, but literally the next seat, meaning we're both virtually touching. I've often just upped and moved to another empty table. These days, I tend to wait outside and go in just before the course starts so I can choose my own space and have less chance of others coming in afterwards. I can understand it when it's busy, but most of the courses I go on are about half full at best.

Barbiessharptoenails · 13/09/2017 11:32

If someone using a locker they always use, which just happens to be near you, is invasive to you then it's up to you to move. You're the one with the issue.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/09/2017 11:56

I can understand the car park thing - to some extent. I think some people find it easier to park when they have another car to park next to - it helps them judge where the lines are, I suppose. But if you are going to do that, you should have the common sense to make sure the person you have parked next to, can still get into their car.

Or, frankly, you should practise for a bit, and learn to park without needing another car to line up with.

And whilst I understand using the same locker every time - I am a creature of habit myself, and would probably do this - you should have enough self awareness not to encroach on someone else's personal space. This woman could have put her stuff in the locker, but done all the getting changed bit a bit further away, so as not to crowd the OP.

SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 13/09/2017 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WipsGlitter · 13/09/2017 13:56

The cinema one is really creepy.

Original poster

user1485342611 · 13/09/2017 14:49

Yes, he was definitely a bit dodgy.

I also hate when I'm in a queue and the person behind stands on top of me and every time I shuffle a bit forward so do they.

OP posts:

VestalVirgin · 13/09/2017 15:17

With the person who uses the locker next to you, it is probably just her not needing as much space as you. So she prioritizes using the locker she always uses to that. (Two down from you means it was more space than you'd get in a full room!)

There's cultural differences, I suppose the British have a tendency to want space. (I'm German, and I also want my space, but I am not exactly typical)

The official boundary is where the seat/locker/parking space ends, and if people think it sufficient to respect that boundary, you can't blame them. They may just not use the same set of unwritten rules as you.

The guy who actively looks for someone to sit next to in cinema sounds very weird. One would think he'd get the hint after you moved away.
(How's that possible? Are cinema cards not sold for specific seats?)

Original poster

user1485342611 · 13/09/2017 15:40

How is a locker two spaces away more space than you'd get in a full room. Each locker is about 18 inches in width and they're all joined, so the person who's put one locker between you and them is barely two feet away from you.

OP posts:

Jayne35 · 13/09/2017 15:53

I tend to use one of three lockers in the gym and there is a kind of table thing in the middle for putting stuff on but there are only three of those in the changing rooms so they do get a bit crowded. While I try not to get right next to someone if it's busy it can't be helped. Do you not use the changing rooms when it's busy OP?

To be honest I have never noticed my personal space being invaded in changing rooms before, more in queues where it seems like the person behind wants to get in my back pocket

motherinferior · 13/09/2017 15:54

Well, you don't own the changing room. Other people probably don't even notice that you're getting all huffy while they fossick about in their usual locker. I wouldn't. I'd be thinking 'ooh, there's my usual number xyz, I always remember that one and have a particular affection for it because it's the same number as my bus, right, must get on...'

Not everyone shares your concept of personal space and frankly as long as they're not actually shoving you I think all you can do is feel peeved.

motherinferior · 13/09/2017 15:55

The locker two down from you is hardly that near. It's just, you know, a locker.

wictional · 13/09/2017 17:00

It's like on public transport when there can be an empty carriage/bus and someone will come and sit either next to you or in the seat behind/in front. It makes me so anxious. GIVE ME SPACE it's just common courtesy!

ShiftyLookingBadger · 14/09/2017 10:08

Vestal This was about 7 or so years ago before cinemas cracked down on assigned seats.

I was really creeped out, I did wonder if he might be from a different culture...

Flip