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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to expect the teacher to notice bruises?

38 replies

Worriedwonderwoman0 · 13/09/2017 10:56

Bear with me as this is a new school for us so I'm trying to be level headed
My son is now in year 1 although one of the younger ones so only just 5 years old.
Seems like quite a lively class of kids and I'm sure like all boys the way he plays can be rougher than I expect as at home he has a baby sister so nobody to play like this with.
Well he comes home from school with 6 bruises on his lower arm, just below the elbow. One is pretty big so looks like a knock into a table but the other 5 are tiny but dark as fresh just like the larger one.
It was PE yesterday which they do after lunchtime where this must or happened and these weren't picked up on.
I'm now worried the other children are either pulling him around too roughly or pinching him.
I'm surprised she didn't notice them at changing time considering he would then have been in a short sleeved polo shirt for the lesson.
I don't want to start badly with a new school but surely this is something they should have noticed and if they did surely they should have spoken to me about it?

OP posts:
DarceyBusselsNose · 13/09/2017 10:58

How did your son say they occurred?

I'm afraid your expectations are far too high if you expect one teacher to inspect 30 children.

Lavabravacava · 13/09/2017 11:00

It's possible you are right, he's being pulled about but I do think it's unreasonable to expect a teacher to notice bruises. Even if she noticed she might not know it happened in school. You don't have to make this a disagreement, just let her know it probably happened in school and ask her to keep an eye out.

AnUtterIdiot · 13/09/2017 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn · 13/09/2017 11:04

Teachers notice bruises. It's not too much to expect. Unfortunately, if they happened at lunchtime then the teacher won't know how. Just pop in and mentioned the bruises. Say you think they must have happened at lunchtime as they weren't there in the morning. Ask her to keep an eye. No need to go in guns blazing.

ElizabethShaw · 13/09/2017 11:05

There's up to 30 children and most of them will have bruises on their arms and legs, so unless he was obviously hurt or complained to the teacher there's no reason for her to particularly notice them.

Ameliablue · 13/09/2017 11:06

Bruises generally don't show up straight away, so may not have been noticeable till home time which will be a busy time. Also most kids have various bruises, so I don't think small bruises on an arm would on their own need flagging.
If it happens repeatedly and you think there may be rough play going on, then speak to the teacher.

PotteringAlong · 13/09/2017 11:06

If he's anything like mine, he's covered in bruises anyway. There's 30 children, the teacher isn't going to notice.

EamonnWright · 13/09/2017 11:10

It's a long shot of course but my son used to come in with loads of bruises. He used to also go out with bruises to nursery who got Social Services involved which was brutal.

An eagle eyed junior doctor mentioned Haemophelia so they ran tests and that's what it was/is.

redthunder123 · 13/09/2017 12:21

Id strongly suggest mentioning to the teacher. She may already be aware and keeping her own eye out.

you don't want to be posting a thread in a few months time saying - teacher reported my child's bruises to Social services and they are coming round tomorrow.

better to just either write a quick note or have a chat... just to cover your own back. it wont have a negative effect with them in any way just will show you actually care and acknowledge your child is 7 bruises heavier after coming home from school!

Prusik · 13/09/2017 12:54

I used to be a teacher. Teacher's do notice bruises, they just don't always say. Sometimes it's worth just observing as a teacher

DarceyBusselsNose · 13/09/2017 12:56

Again, have you actually asked your child how he acquired the bruising?

MiaowTheCat · 13/09/2017 13:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Brittbugs80 · 13/09/2017 13:07

She may have noticed and is choosing to observe your child before taking it further?

You said they occurred at school, she could think they occurred at home.

You could mention it to her but I wouldn't want to be the parent that goes to the school because my child has a bruise.

My DS (9) always has a bruise somewhere, particularly on his shins.

Have you asked your child what happened? If she/he says, "oh John pinched me or Sara pulled me" then maybe go in with a concern but you can't expect the Teacher to know the origin of a bruise.

MimsyFluff · 13/09/2017 13:14

DD2 came out of school at 3pm covered in chicken pox Angry apparently they didn't noticed her face and arms covered in spots when I asked what they were! Small class 16 kids, 1 teacher and 2 TA's and none noticed Hmm

Oblomov17 · 13/09/2017 13:26

DS2 is forever covered in bruises.
But I would ask ds and if he says the boys are a bit rough, then mention this to teacher.
Take a photo, just in case.
Probably nothing, but worth noting.

Steeley113 · 13/09/2017 13:35

Kids get bruises. My son is covered and I wouldn't expect a teacher to notice unless they were in an unusual place. He bashed his eye off the door frame just before school this morning which I assume will come up in a bruise over the day, no phone call yet GrinI think you're being a bit precious tbh

MrsClegane · 13/09/2017 13:44

Do not go in guns blazing. Maybe have a little word and mention he's coming home with bruises and can she keep a look out your make sure he isn't been pushed.

Though to be honest kids get bruises. My dd came home Friday with a huge blue bruise on her shin. She couldn't remember what happened so I let it. She's probably just bumped into some thing. With 30 children in a class it's impossible to notice every single second of their day...it's easy to miss a child walking into a table or bumping an arm on a door as they walk through. Especially if the child dosent complain about hurting themselves.

FizzyGreenWater · 13/09/2017 13:48

Sorry, no, mine are constantly covered in bruises and scratches. 'How did you do THAT?!' is met with a shrug.

Original poster
Worriedwonderwoman0 · 13/09/2017 15:29

He said they play superhero games which include catching and grabbing the children on the losing team!
He also fell 3 times at lunchtime
I'm quite shocked as a teacher observing would be a way of dealing if they suspected anything at home though!
I would have thought with all this up to date safeguarding of recent years they would be concerned immediately if they thought anything like that!

OP posts:
Original poster
Worriedwonderwoman0 · 13/09/2017 15:31

It was a PE day hence me being surprised they weren't noticed! Otherwise I wouldn't have expected it although he never wears a jumper anyway.
Sorry to hear social services became involved to whoever mentioned it but I guess as a nursery age kid not able to explain to staff they reacted how they thought appropriate although sounds horrid.

OP posts:
Poshtottykins · 13/09/2017 16:33

Ha - if a teacher noticed and mentioned every time one of my 3 had a bruise when they were little it would have been a daily occurrence. If they were in the face or huge then different story but a few on the arm us perfectly normal for an active 1st year.

ElizabethShaw · 13/09/2017 16:49

Bruises to the arms and legs in active young children are so common though, a few bruises wouldn't be particularly noteworthy or immediately warrant a safeguarding concern.

Original poster
Worriedwonderwoman0 · 13/09/2017 17:08

I agree but so many tiny little ones to me look so obviously like pink marks or little child's finger marks it should have been

OP posts:
PinguDance · 13/09/2017 17:16

I'm fresh off a safeguarding course that I did today that flagged up the various bruising patterns that are a cause for concern - finger marks are there. If the teacher noticed they ought to ask how it happened, though if they're very small maybe they're obv not from an adult, but then you'd think they'd be worried about bullying.
You could mention it to the teacher as if they look like finger marks they probably are from pinching or grabbing.

BeatriceBeaudelaire · 13/09/2017 17:33

I'm 22 and I have 7 bruises of unknown origin as we speak. Of course be concerned and mention if she could keep an eye out for rough play but I do think you're being a bit PFB - kids get bruises , from a grab that didn't hurt to a fall that did. I'm supervised I have skin on my knees anymore