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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate being in the house at night on my own?

40 replies

Halfsack · 13/09/2017 09:55

Does anyone else really dislike it? I'm obviously not completely by myself (2 kids, a dog and usually a husband) said husband is going away for two nights leaving me on me lonesome. Just wondering if anyone else dislikes it as much as me. Always get irrational thoughts if people breaking in lol

OP posts:
2014newme · 13/09/2017 09:57

I'm the same
Never sleep Properly although a dog would help.

Bintang · 13/09/2017 09:58

But the children are there, yes? And the dog?
I dream of being alone...

sjd84 · 13/09/2017 09:59

I'm the same, even when my son is at home. I never sleep as well when DH isn't here, although I do like the quieter evenings!

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 13/09/2017 10:00

I hate being alone... DH is going away for 10 days and I have the kids and our dog but it's not the same.

metalmum15 · 13/09/2017 10:00

I'm the same. When dh is away I put the alarm on and sleep with a knife under the bed (seriously. ..) Hopefully if anyone ever broke in the sight of me half naked and wild haired charging down the stairs with a knife in my hand would give them the shits like nothing else. ...

Temporary2002 · 13/09/2017 10:01

I am ok until bedtime, but find it hard to sleep in an empty house now that we do not have a dog.

opheliacat · 13/09/2017 10:01

It doesn't bother me now but it did when I was younger. My dad used to go away a lot and I'd lie awake until 4 in the morning!

DarceyBusselsNose · 13/09/2017 10:03

Male protector roles? Something gender neutralisation cannot do away with Grin

Original poster
Halfsack · 13/09/2017 10:04

Ah it's nice to know I'm not alone. Tbh I'm fine until it's time to go to bed. The dog does help but still not quite the same. I'm sure I'll survive lol but is never as relaxing as going to bed with your partner.

OP posts:
Bintang · 13/09/2017 10:07

Maybe review the security on your home, so you feel safer? I'm sorry you feel like this Flowers

Justdontknow4321 · 13/09/2017 10:07

I love being home alone!
Kids in bed, blanket on the sofa and star fishing once in bed... it's a dream!! Haha...
But I'm also the kind of person that would walk the streets alone at night, get taxis by herself etc

JohnVenn · 13/09/2017 10:11

It takes time to adjust. When , as a single parent the kids and I first rented our flat , I felt thrilled but a little lonely for a while.

After a week or two I loved it though!

Leilaniii · 13/09/2017 10:14

Yes! I hate being alone in the house. Especially since I discovered the dungeon in my basement...

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 13/09/2017 10:16

I'm used to it now and sometimes it can be really welcome, but when DH first started doing nights and DS was a baby I hated it.

But then the police tried to break my front door down looking for my neighbours and I got a number plate put on the front of the house so they could see it wasn't the neighbours (none of the houses were numbered before so an easy mistake) and I stopped being spooked. Now when DH is at work and DS is away at camp, I revel in the luxury of pleasing nobody but myself.

KityGlitr · 13/09/2017 10:18

I get scared too. Had an awful experience a few years ago where a neighbour downstairs tried to kick out door in and was threatening to assault us late at night, it was absolutely terrifying but the police wouldn't come as they said our door has a lock so we're fine. they only came when I told them I'd armed myself with a baseball bat in case he got in for my own safety (which was true). Knowing that man was living below us capable of that made me feel so unsafe in my own home and ever since I've been nervous in the house (even though I've moved) on my own.

The way I deal is being prepared. I sleep in full pyjamas if I'm sleeping alone so I can jump out of bed if necessary, keep my glasses in easy reach so I'm not disadvantaged by my eyesight if something happens and I keep a baseball bat under the bed in easy reach. I feel a lot safer knowing if I hear something I can be stood up with my vision and a weapon in two seconds.

I always assumed the police would be there if you were in danger before that incident but it completely changed my perspective and made me realise you're often alone to deal with these things and the police won't necessarily be there to save you so you have to do it alone. It made me feel very insecure when I'd previously walked around assuming I had that protection. I'm more cynical now but better prepared. I also bought a self defence tool from amazon and didn't realise it was illegal until a colleague asked why I had a knuckle duster on my key ring 😂 I don't take it out but keep it near my bed. I'd rather be in trouble for having it then be unable to defend myself if necessary.

HateSummer · 13/09/2017 10:18

I love it. We get all cosy together in the same bed when dh is away.

Motherwell91 · 13/09/2017 10:20

I really struggled with this. You are not alone! Sadly I do feel a slight bit of comfort having the kids with me

Sugarcoma · 13/09/2017 10:20

I actually can't do it - I go to my inlaws or ask someone to stay over. A few years ago I woke up at 4am to find a stranger in the living room who DH confronted and chased out (thank Gd he didn't have a weapon).

We were on the 4th floor and he got in through the fire escape. We've since moved but now I can't be alone at night.

IMissGin · 13/09/2017 10:21

Me too! In fact we were talking about it this morning, DP is going on a stag for 2 nights in a couple of weeks. Will be just me and baby DS in our big old house - I'm dreading it

Hardlyhangingon · 13/09/2017 10:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

phoenix1973 · 13/09/2017 10:22

I dont like it either. Mainly because medical centre next door has a big dark car park which the junkies frequent.
They also drive there, park up, leave headlights and stereo whilst having a kick around. It sucks.
Worst of all it happens less when partner is here. 😔he goes night fishing every other weekend. Then im alone with DD.

KityGlitr · 13/09/2017 10:26

Hardly, for something like a gun or a knife I'd agree that introducing that kind of weapon into that situation would just increase the potential for you getting hurt. But personally something like a baseball bat makes me feel much safer than nothing. I hope the threat of me having it might make someone who's expecting an unarmed afraid resident a bit less likely to attack.

squirrelspatchcock · 13/09/2017 10:30

I hate it and always have, but only if I am completely alone - I am fine if the kids are there. Grew up in a spooky house and being on my own in it freaked me out. I will do the occasional night on my own now and I enjoy the evening and hate the night, I creep around trying to be as quiet as possible so that the imaginary evil presence/intruders can't hear me. It is very quiet where I live so I am alert to every little sound. Pathetic, I know..

abigailgabble · 13/09/2017 10:31

since i had a baby and my bf made a joke about 'the man in the attic' I'm terrified at night. mostly of my baby getting taken while I'm in the shower, and of, wait for it, a snake coming into our room and eating him. Hmm. it's funny in the daytime Grin

but really i do remember that happening to a little boy a few years ago Sad

CKBluebell · 13/09/2017 10:32

It doesn't bother me at all but I find I'm not so settled when DP is due home from work around 2am. It's like I'm subconsciously waiting to hear the door being unlocked and him to come in. Maybe my brain doesn't fully wind down for sleep.
When he's working away or all night, I'm out like a light.

Also what's odd is the cats are the same. They will hop on our or the kids beds to sleep at night when DP is in, away or working all night. When he's due to finish at 2am, they sleep on the hall floor like they can't settle either. They probably sense it from me, don't know...