to be furious the optician? Don't know whether to put in an official complaint or just burst into tears

[RubberDuck]

Ds1 has been going to the optician since he was just over 3 (dh and I are very short sighted and there was some concern he was blinking a lot when 3) - hasn't needed glasses yet but have been going for checks every 6 months. He's now almost 6 years old. Always been very pleasant checks - using a whole range of techniques and very positive experience.

Today our appointment was the very first one of the day so should have been in and out quickly. Just as well as I had to bring ds2 with me for the first time (usually I manage to time it so he's at nursery or have a friend look after him).

Went in and had the machine thing where they measure the eyes first. Ds1 a bit fidgety but perfectly acquiescent - got the readings eventually. Got into the appointment.

He was a bit sporadic with the numbers and a bit all over the place and I could appreciate that it must have been hard to work out whether he was guessing or was genuinely unable to read them properly. Previous optician would have switched to the pictures screen instead.

Optician said that ds1 would need eyedrops (but was vague about what they were for - something about relaxing the focus of the eye as the focus in a child's eye pops in and out a lot?!) and that he'd probably had them before. Erm, nope - never. Optician also couldn't seem to find ds1's notes from previous visits. Because of the way he phrased it and was told it'd wear off "in a couple of hours", I assumed ds1's eyesight had deteriorated rapidly in the last six months and was an important test so I agreed to it.

Ds1 was hysterical and I didn't really feel like I had enough time to calm him down or prepare him for it. Also had to try and keep an eye on ds2 at the same time. Ended up pinning ds1 down and helping optician force his eyes open to get the drops in - was VERY upsetting for all of us and stung quite a bit.

We were then told it would take 30 mins to act and would we like to wander around town and come back - this was around 9.30am so we'd already been there half an hour. Knowing that ds2 would explode if we sat in the waiting room for too long I took them out, bought them a small toy and some sweets each, and returned dead on 10.00am.

At 10.15am I queried with the receptionist if it was going to be much longer as ds2 was getting really restless and being very loud with it (not overtly naughty, but reaching end of tether) she went to check and we were told they'd be with us in a minute. At around half past optician came out and shone a torch in ds1's eyes to check it had worked - it had.

At 10.45(!!) the optician finally said that we needed to have the machine measurement done again, so poor ds1 had to sit mega still again while they ran the machine and I stopped ds2 running riot. Went back into the consulting room and optician STILL wasn't happy with the machine measurements and went back out with ds1 to do them AGAIN himself this time.

Came back in, tried letters on the chart this time and still ds1 was a little erratic - but to be fair he was getting really tired now which the optician really didn't seem to appreciate or make any allowances for. Apart from shining a torch in his eyes (which apparently really hurt according to ds1 - the drops seem to have made his eyes really light sensitive) no other tests were used - none of those "does the red look brighter on the left or the right" thing they normally do. Optician basically said "well, it's hard to tell ... I think he's slightly short-sighted, doesn't need glasses yet - come back in six months.

IT WAS TWO HOURS SINCE WE'D ARRIVED!! All that grief and same diagnosis as before?! Why bother with the eyedrops and put ds1 through all that unnecessary stress and now fear of going to the opticians just to not really be that bothered for another six months? I still don't know exactly what the eyedrops were for. As we were leaving he said "the eyedrops will probably wear off in about 6-8 hours or maybe not even until the morning" - far cry from the "couple of hours" he'd said at the beginning - would never have agreed to them if I'd known that.

Has completely wrecked the day - ds1 has been learning to ride his bike but he's now completely light sensitive and blurry. He's crying because he can't even read inside instead as the letters are blurry. I'm torn between bursting into tears myself or letting the red mist descend. This optician has TOTALLY destroyed any trust ds1 had in their profession... totally. Am so very very angry.

Poor you. The optician shouldn't have kept you waiting, but with a wee one the eye-drops are necessary to dilate the pupil to get a more accurate test. They are unpleasant and your ds won't want to play outside, but he should be ok in the house.

Oh and he also at the end implied it the eye drops were all ds1's fault for being "uncooperative" - and he bloody wasn't he was as good as gold throughout the whole thing and was trying his best throughout - tolerated the heavy funny glasses thing with good humour.

He's NEVER needed these eyedrops before - they just used a range of different tests and switched between images and letters to get a thorough view of his eyesight.

It may have been necessary but they handled it terribly! If it's a chain, I would write to their hed office, explain everything and complain. If it's independent, write to them, explain everything and change opticians. Poor DS!

But if they were so necessary why didn't he bother to do a proper test?! As I say, ds1 has never needed them before and the previous optician we've seen there has always patiently gone through several different types and managed to put him at his ease.

I can understand your anger. the optician should have rebooked you and given you the eye drops to put in a certain time before(have done that)
Have you a local eye hospital that can do the tests. we had a lot of trouble with ds as some opticians said he had a squint and some didn't. so in the end we went to the eye hospital.

To be honest, I think I'm more angry with myself that I just didn't say no and gone away and found out exactly what it was needed for first rather than put him through a load of unnecessary upset and stress.

Sitting here with tears pouring down my face

don't be upset he will bounce back. i would go to a different one though. ask around for a child friendly one.

Yes I will do, thank you for the sympathy. I thought that was the child-friendly one (yes it's a large chain)

Don't know whether to write an official complaint, as I just don't know if I'm overreacting in mother-bear over-protectiveness mode. I probably am

Dd 1 is 5 and had worn glasses for a couple of years now. She has the drops a lot and is seen at the hospital. We were told by the consultant that the drops are always needed as they give more accurate results which can affect the strength of the glasses. Dd has numbing drops first though and then the stingy ones, maybe ask for those next time first? The drops can make the eyes blurry for the rest of the day so care should be taken when the child is playing and should be supervised.

Rubberduck, I'm an optometrist and if I were you I would take the matter up with the practice manager initially rather than with the head office.
Re the drops: opinion varies as to how useful they are. I deal with lots of very young children and I don't like to use them unless I really feel I have to. They will give a stable result which is probably what the optom was hoping for but only for when the eye is totally relaxed which never actually happens in real life! They do give a really good view of the back of the eye which you wouldn't otherwise get. They can take anything from 6 hours to 24 hours to wear off and will make the vision blurred and the euyes oversensitive to light. This should be explained beforehand to the child.
I think it sounds to me as if the optician was running behind by the time your ds got back to the practice. In a situation like this, where drops take a while to take effect
I get the patient to attend the practice half an hour before the actual appointment, so that by the time the drops have taken effect, you have enough time to deal with the patient and don't have to keep them waiting again.
If you don't complain then things won't improve. Obviously I don't know anything about the optom in question but IME some professionals who don't have children themselves and who have little experience with children generally really don't realise that children cannot be kept waiting and need everything explained.
Another thing, if there is one optician in the practice that you prefer, just ask for them on every visit

Thanks chipmonkey - if you recommended eye drops and the parent said "actually, we've had a bad experience before and would really rather not - could we just reschedule for another day when ds might be more relaxed" would you consider that reasonable?

I just really want to avoid being put in the same position again - especially if the benefits aren't that cut and dried.

DD1 had major eye problems from the age of about 3 upwards, and was having the full works at roughly 3-monthly intervals in the OP and orthoptics dept of a major eye hospital. My younger two have regular checks for the same reason.

Mine have had the drops pretty much every time until the age of about 6, when they get better at controlling the eye muscles. A child with blue eyes usually needs only one drop per eye, brown eyes usually need a couple of goes. Most of the time mine have been prepared to co-operate, but there have been occasions when I've just had to hold them down and get on with it. Going well-armed with smarties helps. The after-effects are normal -- sit child in a darkened room watching undemanding kids TV till it wears off.

I think your optician could have handled things better, but don't think their actions are serious complaint-worthy tbh. Any measurements you take on humans, esp on kids always have an error margin -- sounds like he was just doing his best to do a thorough check, albeit the admin of the clinic and the opticians bedside manner were not ideal. Mainstream practices are not really geared up for children, so it's pot luck whether you get an individual who has the knack or not. Ask your GP to recommend a practice that are good at dealing with children, or call your nearest eye hospital and ask for recommendations.

i'd complain. doesn't matter how neccessary the procedure was, it is not good to treat a six year old in that way and that optomotrist should not see any more young children.

Rubberduck, what I would suggest, is that you ring the practice before making another appointment and explain that your ds was very upset by the drops and request that if they are needed again, that an anaesthetic drop is put in first. The anaesthetic drops don't sting, whereas the dilating drops most certainly do, and the anaesthetic drops prevent the child from feeling the sting IYKWIM. Tbh I think the problem here is not so much the drops themselves, just really a lack of communication and consideration.