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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For challenging my childless aunt on this?

49 replies

Sienna333 · 12/09/2017 20:14

I was telling her about my friend who runs a crèche and who also used to be a nanny. She said "That's the life isn't it? Just playing with the kiddies all day. Not much to it. Girl has the right idea.' I challenged her as that's such a narrowminded comment to make is it not?

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 12/09/2017 21:18

autumn did you miss the post from brasty saying plenty of parents have said this sort of thing too?

PerUnaStubbs · 12/09/2017 21:19

well, yes, compared with going down the mines or defusing roadside bombs, running a creche is a pretty pleasant job to have, if you're interested in children.

She's making conversation, not having a go at you in some obscure way.

Original poster

Sienna333 · 12/09/2017 21:19

I cannot imagine any parent saying looking after kids is easy

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 12/09/2017 21:20

How did you 'challenge' her exactly?

brasty · 12/09/2017 21:20

Well some do Sienna

milliemolliemou · 12/09/2017 21:22

Why not just nod and ignore her? Are you going to change her mind by challenging her? Like other PPs, the fact she's childless possibly makes her more prone to misunderstanding the effort of running a creche but I can think of other people including parents with sprogs who might say that without knowing the complexities.

SuzukiLi · 12/09/2017 21:22

I'm a parent and I think looking after kids is easy

ChickenVindaloo2 · 12/09/2017 21:24

I think we all have a rose-tinted specs view of many jobs.

For example, I'd never be a teacher after reading various threads on here. Not about the children or the teaching, more about the pressure/deadlines/paperwork.

I'm a solicitor, used to work in criminal defence. People think that's well paid, possibly glamorous/exciting. It's not, it's 80 hour weeks with demanding clients and a lot of form filling.

But when someone says "oh, you're a teacher, how fulfilling" or "you're a lawyer, that must be a brilliant job", I don't tell them at length how awful day to day life really is! I just smile and nod and say something similarly inane about their job. It's how small talk works!

(And let's be honest - none of the jobs discussed are exactly soldiers on the front line or folk working down the sewers breaking up fatbergs!)

Sparklingbrook · 12/09/2017 21:25

Looking after lots of other people's children just looks exhausting to me. I couldn't do it.

MyCatIsASpy · 12/09/2017 21:25

A bit of an over the top response

MrLovebucket · 12/09/2017 21:33

My aunt isn't a decent person, no. She is bitter and bitches about everyone so I shouldn't really take any notice.

I'd just try and avoid her in future then.

SeaCabbage · 12/09/2017 21:42

She sounds rather thick to me. I hope you try to avoid her as much as you can.

paxillin · 12/09/2017 21:43

DS said his nursery nurse didn't have a job. "She just comes to nursery and plays all day." In his defence, he was only 4 when he made this announcement and she thought it funny.

HanutaQueen · 12/09/2017 21:52

I know loads of people who say that on balance looking after children is easy.

Some people don't find it easy. They probably aren't cut out to be nursery nurses.

I'd say looking after children is easier than telling someone their relative has been severely injured in an accident but less easy than doing the rota for half the day while drinking tea in a nice warm office.

But being childless my opinion has no value

Mittens1969 · 12/09/2017 21:56

Well, the update makes it easier to understand why you're viewing your aunt's comment in a negative way. You basically don't like her, so it's not really about what she said on this occasion, is it?

Also, if you don't like her, why does it matter what she thinks??

Original poster

Sienna333 · 12/09/2017 21:59

If I liked her, I would still be irritated. It isn't just her that says looking after kids is easy, a lot of others do as well. Most people who work in childcare will be familiar with that

OP posts:

UnicornRainbowColours · 12/09/2017 22:04

Argh I would be annoyed to OP I'm a nanny and I do far more then play with kiddies all day. YANBU xx

applesareredandgreen · 12/09/2017 22:06

Is your aunt childless by choice? ( I expect if you aren't close then you wouldn't really know her feelings on this) I was thinking that if she didn't have children but had wanted them she may think 'what a lovely job being with children and playing with them all day'. It could also be considered rather thoughtless going on about how hard work children are to a woman who would have liked her own children but that didn't happen for her.

Original poster

Sienna333 · 12/09/2017 22:13

Oh no, she definitely doesn't want them, I wouldn't have started this thread otherwise

OP posts:

FrancisCrawford · 12/09/2017 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Sienna333 · 12/09/2017 22:34

Because I feel passionate about the work childcare practitioners do and am tired of hearing the profession downplayed and criticised?

OP posts:

BlueButTrue · 12/09/2017 22:43

Meh, I've always been the childless one and think quite the opposite to your aunt. Children are bloody exhausting, hence many smart people not having them.

I'm no longer smart, I'm pregnant now

Cheekichi · 12/09/2017 22:54

Hi OP, I'm a primary school teacher and coincidentally child free due to infertility. I love my job and , yes it is challenging at times but it is also really stimulating and enjoyable being with kids. I do play with the kids all day long because that is how they learn, so don't think your aunt's comment is out of order.

I do however, get tired of being told I have no idea how hard it is to have children, how I know nothing about children etc just because life gave me crap ovaries.

You think your aunt is a bitch - fair enough, you know her and we don't. Just don't imply her childless status is what makes her a bitch.

Candlemiss · 12/09/2017 23:13

I also find that spending the day playing with children is mostly fun and very rewarding. But
I've only brought up my own. I don't think I'd much enjoy looking after other people's kids.

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