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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Photographer at club

49 replies

WorriedBeachDad · 12/09/2017 16:02

So a professional photographer at a club based on the beach that my daughter attends told me that he took a long range photo of a woman sunbathing topless on the beach and sold it to the The Sun, a few months later he did the same thing to the same woman (accidentally), the woman complained to IPSO that she had no opportunity to give/deny consent but he got away with it as she was in public.

I lost my rag in quite a big way and said that if he was prepared to act in that way I didn't want him photographing my daughter and he should not be welcome at the club - which has a very high proportion of teenagers and girls.

I have been told that I was unreasonable as he did nothing illegal and since he gets the club good exposure in the press he's worth having around. I disagree - AIBU?

Honestly can't work out what to do now as I love the club and don't want to leave but this feels like a really big problem...

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 12/09/2017 16:06

You are entitled to disagree, but as you said, he did nothing illegal. Morally he's dodgy, but not a criminal. The club have told you where they stand. It's now up to you to decide if him being there will stop you attending.

araiwa · 12/09/2017 16:07

Photographer taking photographs shocker

Original poster
WorriedBeachDad · 12/09/2017 16:12

Just to be clear he was literally taking photos of my daughters as he was telling me this...

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 12/09/2017 16:18

Stop going then. Simple.

araiwa · 12/09/2017 16:18

Are you concerned he has some sort of xray lens? Confused

I dont know what youre bothered about?

Original poster
WorriedBeachDad · 12/09/2017 16:22

araiwa - I just think that having someone who is prepared to do something like that photographing a bunch of the club's teenage girls on the beach is a recipe for disaster.

Am genuinely open to be told that I am unreasonable.

OP posts:
JaneEyre70 · 12/09/2017 16:25

I think tbh if you are sunbathing topless in public, you are more than fair game for anyone passing with a camera or a phone. But at least he was open about it, I guess. I'd be more worried if he was photographing people and not letting on about it.

Flyingflipflop · 12/09/2017 16:27

From the clubs point of view it's quite simple. They earn more from his exposure in the press than your daughters fees.

So you have two choices. Like it or lump it.

Original poster
WorriedBeachDad · 12/09/2017 16:28

Flyingflipflop Would you like or lump?

OP posts:
araiwa · 12/09/2017 16:29

What disaster do you think will happen?

Original poster
WorriedBeachDad · 12/09/2017 16:32

araiwa He'll take an inappropriate picture of a club member and sell it? He'll confuse where he took different shots and use a club one for something less classy? He'll get in trouble and bring the club into disrepute? He'll take a picture of a club member on the beach after a session and use it in a way that the club would not like?

OP posts:
Flyingflipflop · 12/09/2017 16:32

I wouldn't necessarily be overly worried, but it's not my choice. Does your annoyance outweigh your daughters enjoyment?

For me it wouldn't be a battle worth fighting. You might feel differently.

Original poster
WorriedBeachDad · 12/09/2017 16:33

I guess there are two issues here - was what he did vile (I don't see how anyone could think otherwise...) - should what he did and the fact that he boasted about it preclude him from being involved with the club (I would say yes but apparently no one else thinks so...)

OP posts:
araiwa · 12/09/2017 16:34

Do you really think a professional photographer will confuse a picture of a topless woman with a group of teen girls doing whatever this club they go to do?

jay55 · 12/09/2017 16:35

I think a man who checks out women on the beach through a long lense is grim. That he could have asked the woman for conscent but chose to be a coward and take the picture from afar is equally grim.
His actions might not be illegal but they are underhand. I can understand you not wanting him around.

Original poster
WorriedBeachDad · 12/09/2017 16:35

BTW I am genuinely surprised the way the consensus is going on this - although we're still only on page 1...

OP posts:
araiwa · 12/09/2017 16:37

Its because youre a man. And as mn knows, the man is always wrong Wink

Flyingflipflop · 12/09/2017 16:38

So you didn't post to ask if you're being unreasonable but for validation? Kind of a pointless post then!

ParadiseCity · 12/09/2017 16:38

He sounds like a grim sleazebag and I would feel like you OP.

Manclife · 12/09/2017 16:39

Had the woman he photographed not been topless would that have still been an issue for you?

onalongsabbatical · 12/09/2017 16:40

Yes, it's vile, but I don't see what you can actually DO about it if the club want him there?
I think that as a parent of girls, you are just waking up to the patriarchy. So welcome! Do whatever you can to improve things, but pick your battles.

Original poster
WorriedBeachDad · 12/09/2017 16:40

Flyingflipflop Isn't AIBU all about validation? People want their positions validated or challenged - that's what I'm here for... I want people to tell me I'm wrong if they think so.

OP posts:
Puffpaw · 12/09/2017 16:40

What kind of club is it? I don't understand why it needs a photographer or publicity. Surely the point of a club is that only some people can join?

Justmuddlingalong · 12/09/2017 16:41

So, is your 1st post on MN to ask IYABU or to see what the consensus would be to a theoretical situation?

Loraline · 12/09/2017 16:42

I'm surprised at consensus here too.

I wouldn't be worried about anything happening as such but the photographer is a vile pig. Taking photos of topless women and using them, without permission, for commercial gain is morally pretty reprehensible. It certainly shows an utter disrespect for women which would put me off the idea of him being around teenage girls, especially if he's boasting about it. Je treats women's bodies as if they're his property. I wouldn't want that view around my kids.