I think I am... but please help me let it go

[QueenNefertitty]

DS is 1 and is in his second week of settling in sessions at a lovely nursery. Today on the app the nursery use to keep me updated, a v thorough accident form was filled out and sent to me- DS had fallen and bust his lip. He'd had first aid and only cried briefly before going back to playing and eating lunch.

Nursery staff explained how it happened when I picked him up later, and everyone was very reassuring.

On our way home, I noticed a sizable bump on his head, on the same side as his injured lip... so being a pfb Mum, of course called the nursery and asked politely if it was the same incident, and why hadn't it been on the accident form. They said they'd checked him over but hadn't noticed a lump. In fairness he has lots of hair and quite a knobbly head (though obviously I can tell every normal and abnormal bobble through months of obsessive head stroking).

I know they haven't been negligent, and I totally trust them, but I'm still a bit cross that they didn't pick up on his bumped head. I know that's probably slightly unreasonable...

But was I also unreasonable to call and ask them about it too?

No, of course not. It sounds like you were perfectly nice about it, it isn't like you rang up shouting!

You weren't bu to phone and handled it very well.
It may be a case of the bump not appearing until after the form had been filled in and DS had been checked.

I suspect the bump may have come up later. It wouldn't even have been there for them to find.

Bumps can take a while to appear. Can understand your concern though!

Okay, that was my instinct too- DS safety obviously my first priority (before caring what anyone at the nursery thinks of me)- but also didn't want to come across as OTT/ accusatory.

I do have postnatal anxiety, which I'm receiving therapy for, and stuff like this is sometimes hard for me to gauge.

Thanks for the reassurance

it sounds like it was fine and you behaved acceptably.

Let it go now - your son is not a delicate flower, he has run about and bumped himself, that is a sign he is a fully functioning boy. Nothing more sinister than that.

Do you want him to be motionless and dainty?

@kimmy

Sound advice- you've said exactly what I (try!) tell myself.

The irony is, I'm q outdoorsy and physical and can't stand the thought of DS being afraid to explore the world "in case something bad happens", so work incredibly hard to make sure I don't overprotect him/ make him afraid - my mental illness is mine to address, not his- and every time I deal with something like this, I try and move on a bit further.

Thank you

Bumps can take a while to come up like PP's have said, as a nursery manager I'd be reminding my staff to check the children an hour or so after their fall for any bumps that may come up as it does happen.

V.good of nursery to inform you of his injury straight away, a lot of stettings only ifnorm you if its a bump to the head above the eyebrow if it's on the front.

I'm glad your son is okay and well done for working on the anxiety, you did brilliantly and we're in every right to call.

you're welcome! ; )

@coffee

Oh you'll be a bump expert then, maybe I can ask you... DS seems to always be bumping his head... and getting raised lumps (bull in a China shop is the family name for him...) do baby heads lump up fairly easily, even after relatively minor knocks? And what's "a bad bump"?!

Obviously to me, anything bigger than a pimple invites alarm....

Inagree as a nursery worker its easy to nit notice a bump if it doesnt come up straight away esp if we dont see where or how they landend knocked it.

But your bursery sounds on the ball. Ours notifys patents by phone call with a injury to the head, even if theres no bumb. And to keep an extea check on them.

Imo you did great, the nursery needed to know that they missed a bumb or thatbit came up later, theyll prob be talked to about double checking etc.
Hope lo is ok now snd good luck with the counling x