WWYD SIL and my DN

[Cfloralc152625]

Hi all! I need some advice on this.

Long story short SIL has a two lovely sons which I love very much. I had a lovely relationship with her children specially the youngest one and they're friends with my dc since they were 5.

When my youngest nephew was very young (like 7, 8 years old) he used to dress like a girl. Wearing dresses and high heels, play with makeup. He never went out and about like that but my SIL updated Facebook with photos of his looks regularly and so she did for the last years. But now he's 15 and no longer wears feminine clothes. He's been really embarrassed that all the family and family friends have seen him in heels and even a wedding dress. They had a huge fall out last week and he wants to stay with me whilist looking for a place to live. Would that be ok? SIL doesn't agree with that btw

The perils of splashing your kids over social media. Yanbu to offer him a place to stay, it's probably the best thing that could happen right now for a 15yo angry with his mother. At 15 though where would he go after staying at yours? How long can you accommodate him for?

TBH - even though he is your DN I would not 'take sides' and offer accommodation

He is a child, he is not going to find a place to live. I think you need to send him home to his mother and let them work it out.

Offer him somewhere to stay, and let the air clear for a while - talk to your SIL and say you're being supportive but not taking sides

Whilst it's not ok to plaster it over social media, it seems rather a major overreaction on his side. Does he realise the implications of leaving home, how it will affect him/his future? All because apparently dressing up as a kid was shameful . One of my brothers used to run around the street in a bra, still laugh about it years later. Rather than encourage him to leave home, could you talk to him about what exactly is bothering him about 'being in a dress'? I think that he needs to learn to laugh things off, or he's going to overreact to every embarrassing moment in his life.

Your SiL certainly needs to lay off the social media though, and apologies to him for breaking his trust.

I used to go and stay with my aunt when I was a teen due to batshit crazy behaviour from my parents.
One thing, make sure he's not just at yours to doss, I had chores and responsibilities at my aunts house which I didn't at my parents, it's how my aunt knew things must be bad at home because I could easily have just gone home and done nothing than stay with her and have to work.

How long ago were pics put up?

If the last went up years ago when he last wore a dress it seems odd that he is upset now.

Perhaps a few days apart for them to both cool off?

But how can he live away from home at 15?

Urgh - this is a tricky one.
I think you should stay out of it, tbh.
He is the one having an issue over what his mother has done in the past, and throwing an almighty strop over it - he shouldn't be able to just walk away to somewhere else while he self-justifies his strop.

It would be a different matter if his mother was actually abusive, or had done something really terrible to him (like post naked pictures of him in the shower last week - that would be way worse) - but this is something he needs to work out with his mum. If you get involved, you'll just be making it harder for his mum to get this situation under control and resolved, AND you'll fall out with your SIL for facilitating his strop.

I'd say he can stay until things cool off and then he's goes back home. He's a child and unless it's under social services he isn't going to find a place to stay.