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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed with the school.. and to need some support/a hug?

24 replies

ClothEaredBint · 11/09/2017 19:52

DS is 11, in yr 6, he has special needs, Autism, ADHD, SPD, Dyspraxia, anxiety and a sleep disorder. He has an EHCP with 25hrs 1:1.

The LA insisted he stay at the mainstream primary he was in with full support as the local Autism Unit didn't have enough yr6 placements. I expressed vehemently my concerns over the pressure yr 6's are put through during this year with SATS, to the point I made it clear that if I felt he wasn't coping, I would pull him out because I wasn't willing to put his mental health at risk when he already struggles just to get through each day with A LOT of adjustments.

I was assured they'd keep it in mind and make sure he wasn't put under any pressure and they'd do everything possible to keep him calm...etc

They only went back Tuesday last week, and I was informed today that every day until Thursday they'll be sitting mock SATS exams with the papers from last year. They did the reading one today, and his 1:1 did a fab job of breaking the exam up and keeping him calm, but this evening he's done nothing but flip between being hyperactive, screaming, vocally ticking, and melting down and already voicing he doesn't want to do the maths paper tomorrow, and I know I'm going to have a hell of a game getting him into school.

I don't even know where to start :( I'm just so frustrated, I can't cope with a whole school year of this!

OP posts:

Original poster

ClothEaredBint · 11/09/2017 19:54

oh, and to add to it, they've announced a fancydress day on Wednesday for Roald Dahl day, and DS freaks out over people in costume, so now I have to deal with that too. I feel like crying.

OP posts:

Original poster

ClothEaredBint · 11/09/2017 20:22

guess I must be..

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 11/09/2017 20:24

Oh no. Have a hug and a cwtch for good measure!
Keep it in mind? What a rubbish response. They need to consider how every decision they make for his class will impact on him and how to help him manage the challenges for the year.
Bloody Sats prep in September. FFS.

Schroedingerscatagain · 11/09/2017 20:25

No answers just sympathy and hope here for you

Year six was the beginning of the end for us, it all but destroyed DD with similar conditions

Now at the start of year 10 I can honestly say we are in a much much better place, stand your ground and do what you know is best for him

shivermytimbers · 11/09/2017 20:25

That sounds absolutely rubbish for both of you! Can you get a specialist to document how anxious it's making him? It might help you appeal the decision to keep him in mainstream.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 11/09/2017 20:27

Your poor ds. Can you speak to the LEA again? Have you got a yr7 placement lined up? Is he actually supposed to be sitting the SATs?

Walkinglikeazombie · 11/09/2017 20:28

I'm so sorry, have no advice but sending you some {{hugs}} and .
Is there any chance you could approach the school again?

JasmineOill · 11/09/2017 20:28

Can you not pull him out just for next week? if all they're doing is mocks tests and fancy dress?

WhooooAmI24601 · 11/09/2017 20:28

Can you opt out of the SATs and practise exams? DS1 is also 11 and just moved to Y7. Y6 was the work of Satan trying to keep him calm and anxiety-free; his attendance went through the floor because he was physically reacting to incredible levels of stress. I feel for you both.

grasspigeons · 11/09/2017 20:28

This sounds awful. I don't have any advice to give. How local authorities can do this to kids I don't know

JasmineOill · 11/09/2017 20:29

Sorry, its this week its all happening. can you pull him out till next week?

RainyApril · 11/09/2017 20:31

Just to say that the tests won't be the start of SATs practice as such, just baseline assessments so that teachers can see which areas the kids need to brush up on, and where they're already strong. Our school did them too, in all year groups. Not that that helps you, I realise.

Original poster

ClothEaredBint · 11/09/2017 20:39

We're waiting on the Ed Psych to come in so he's got a recent assessment to put forward with an application for the special school to enrol there for yr7. Its getting daft, it has to be done in the next 4 weeks or won't be taken into account for secondary applications... I dont' even know where to start because he absolutely will not cope with mainstream secondary.

I'll be taking him to his CAHMs appointment on the 19th so will be discussing it all with his Dr then.

Intelligence wise he's capable of doing the SATS, he's very bright, emotionally/behaviourally though... that's the issue, he still operates on the level of a 6/7yo.. his TA is lovely and does an amazing job of handling him, he's come on in leaps and bounds since she started working with him, but all it takes is one slip and all hell breaks loose.

OP posts:

Allthecarsarelonely · 11/09/2017 20:42

Are the school allowed to apply to make a child with SEN exempt from the SATs? There must be a point at which it is not in the best interests of the child to put them through it.

I really hope that things get better for your DS. It sounds like he is having a really difficult time. He is a star for being so good with the first paper.

Original poster

ClothEaredBint · 11/09/2017 20:46

I don't know actually, the SENCo never said when I told her if I felt it was too much pressure he wouldn't be sitting them.

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RafikiIsTheBest · 11/09/2017 22:03

I can't think what SPD is and google isn't much help at the moment. I might just be tired so sorry if this is a shit response.

I fully believe that SATs are useless, but putting it really simply is your son likely to be able to achieve anything in doing his SATs ie is he going to sit them/get anything near an expected score on them? If not then you really need to talk to the school and find a way for him to be withdrawn from them altogether.
I'm not sure what your home situation is like, but have you thought about homeschooling? It's not the be all and end all but I would imagine done properly your DS would benefit rather than having a year of SATs work (which is all y6 is).
In the mean time document everything, report back to school (via email so your DS doesn't overhear or read it) and keep asking about the autism unit if you think that is the best place for him.

Fancy dress and mock exams on the same day? Or is fancy dress next week? On the same day is crazy even for NT kids, no way are they going to be able to concentrate whilst sitting in costumes!

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 11/09/2017 22:08

SOD - sensory processing disorder.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 11/09/2017 22:09

Oops SPD - not SOD. stupid autocorrect

RainyApril · 11/09/2017 22:35

Exemption from SATs is at the head's discretion. It can certainly be done but they are naturally reluctant to open the floodgates. I have only ever known chn be withdrawn if they are working at well below the expected level. Parents cannot withdraw their child from tests and withdrawing them from school during test week is likely to be recorded and treated as an unauthorised absence. Teachers hate them too, really feel for your boy.

Allthewaves · 11/09/2017 22:49

Honestly it's time to get legal advice. I found once the Lea realised we had gotten our case taken by legal team specialising in childrens educational law they sat up and took notice

WattdeEll · 12/09/2017 00:28

Does your local area have a Parent Partnership? Or a perhaps you could contact the NAS for advice? I really feel for you and your son. You need some professional support.
Some parents withdraw their child from school to home school just before SATs once their Year 7 places are confirmed anyway. So if they Head won't use discretion to withdraw him, I would be doing it myself. Good luck.

Original poster

ClothEaredBint · 12/09/2017 00:30

We do, I've had to get them involved once before when we had issues at the school before his EHCP was finalised.. so the HT already knows I have absolutely no qualms in taking things over his head if I feel its necessary.

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WattdeEll · 12/09/2017 01:45

Is it worth putting in a call to them? They must've come across similar for Year 6 and will be able to back up with other cases.

Dorianlpg2 · 15/10/2018 11:25

Have you had your annual review yet? Our son has ADHD and SPD and I'm almost certain he also has dyspraxia to boot! Its very difficult to manage but since getng our ehcp drawn up to make sure he gets what he needs we had to threaten with tribunal.The local lea won't do whats best for your son but whats best for their budget,25.5 hours 1 to 1 would never have been any use to our son as it was the environmental factors that set him off the usual suspects...class size...noise....lack of understanding! he was taught out of class for nearly a year but now we have him in smaller class size(12) he is managing though does still have the occasional melt down(usually during exams when its all change to routine) I'm new to this and have just noticed this is an old thread but i will continue! what age is your child? If he has an ehcp he should be getting managed help maybe by doing his tests when he's most able and maybe in a quieter room? I hope all went well and if its a consolation i know how your feeling!
Best of luck

Hugh

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