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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Think colleague is being conned!

23 replies

Foxtrot92 · 11/09/2017 16:06

Hi everyone!

I started this job (7 hours a week) a few weeks ago so I'm still getting to know people. Today I was working with a lady and we got chatting.

She told me about her other half and how he lives in America. She then goes to show me a photo of him in his work uniform. The head has been photoshopped on! It's not immediately obvious but you can tell when you look closely.

She then showed me pictures of his 'house' and how they talk all the time on social media. She went on to say how he's asked her for money to come visit her but she's refused as she can't afford it but will save so she can help him out!

My alarm bells were screaming at me but I didn't say anything at the time. I've never spoken to this woman before so I didn't want to be the one to upset her.

AIBU to warn her next time I see her? I know it's none of my business and I barely know this woman but she's in danger of being ripped off!

OP posts:
pudcat · 11/09/2017 16:12

Google american soldier scams and show them to her. These are usually scammers from African countries.

Original poster
Foxtrot92 · 11/09/2017 16:17

How do I raise the subject delicately? I just feel she's going to tell me to do one or something? I'm much younger than her and I don't think she's going to take me seriously.

OP posts:
EamonnWright · 11/09/2017 16:19

She might brush you off but at least you'll have planted the seed. Tell her.

Nomoresunshine · 11/09/2017 16:20

Could you put printed off stuff in an envelope and just hand it to her? Tell her you are available if she needs to talk.
Saves both of you any embarrassment. . Then don't mention it if she doesn't. .

FallingOrbit · 11/09/2017 16:22

As awkward as it is, I'd want to tell her. It's not nice seeing people taken for a ride, even if you haven't known them for very long. Better to have her be pissed at you and accuse you of "being jealous" etc than lose potentially thousands being ripped off.

She'll thank you in the end, the scam will become clear at some point and it'll be a hell of a shock to her. At least try, for your own peace of mind.

NeonFlower · 11/09/2017 16:23

I might say something like, you know that photo you showed me, I was thinking about it and it lookes a bit like it was photo shopped - be careful of scammers, won't you, I have heard there are a lot of them about, trying to part people from their money, and anyone can get caught out. But sadly she may not want to think about it and you are new in the job so I don't think you can do much more.

Anecdoche · 11/09/2017 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pudcat · 11/09/2017 16:23

Has she got a friend that you have a word with?

blackteasplease · 11/09/2017 16:26

I think you have to try, awkward as it might be.

blackteasplease · 11/09/2017 16:26

I think you have to try, awkward as it might be.

zeeboo · 11/09/2017 16:29

I would find someone in the job she's close to and confide in them or I'd print off some info on scams and how to spot photoshop and leave it on her desk.

Original poster
Foxtrot92 · 11/09/2017 16:32

Thanks I think I'll have a word with someone who knows her better and they'll hopefully say something. I feel so sorry for her, she was so proud showing me these photos Sad

OP posts:
chicaguapa · 11/09/2017 16:33

I think she'd more likely take notice if she saw a similar photo to the one she has so she could see a pattern. Could you find a similar photo and say that a 'friend' showed you it of her partner and it reminded you of a photo she'd shown you of her partner. And it made you feel a bit concerned.

BalloonSlayer · 11/09/2017 16:35

I would invent a friend that had been scammed, and say it reminded me alarmingly of what had happened to her. That way you can stress how beautiful and intelligent and streetwise said "friend" was and it was only the utter deviousness of the scammer that made her believe it. That way you can lessen the blow to her self-esteem, as she will hopefully not feel a) alone or b) stupid.

(If she asks to meet said friend, you could say that friend does not talk to you any more after you were proved right)

sonjadog · 11/09/2017 16:38

I think you should try to say something to her. Either via a friend of hers, or make an imaginary friend like suggested above. He friends might well know it is a scam and have tried to warn her many times before, so if you know them, I´d check it out with them first.

Lime19 · 11/09/2017 16:41

My MIL got conned out of £12k by this. He was in the military and she was sending him money for visas, hospital treatment, flights etc.

The story went on for over a year. She even went to airport to meet him but he didn't show up because of some other drama...

TheOldCow · 11/09/2017 17:06

I'd tell her. It's a well known scam. Suggest she does some googling.

Beadieeye · 11/09/2017 17:06

I really worry for anyone taken in by these scams, they must be truly vulnerable to believe they are in a relationship with someone they've never seen, let alone met.
I'm sure it will crop up again in conversation, and when it does, mention that you read about the scam in a magazine or something. Chances are she won't look into it, sometimes the victims of these scams do have an inkling that all isn't right, but they get something out of it.

TheOldCow · 11/09/2017 17:21

How about printing something out for her. If you try and talk to her about it she might be too defensive. THIS is a warning about US ARMY romances issued by the US ARMY. How about printing it out for her?

BTW I'm not sure that it's the best solution as it might seem a bit direct but it's something for you to consider.

Spangles1963 · 11/09/2017 19:11

Practically every woman I know,including myself,has had this scam tried on them!

SpiritedLondon · 11/09/2017 19:20

Ooh no-ones tried to scam me!!! I think it's a cracking scam.... heroic men in uniform who can be deployed to a war zone to justify unexplained absences. Beats those ones with huge inheritances / lottery wins stuck overseas that they need help with.

PutTheBunnyBackInTheBox · 11/09/2017 19:30

Could you take a picture of the photo she has? If so you could do a Google reverse image search. It might show the real photo which would prove you right.

Poor woman Sad

pudcat · 12/09/2017 08:07

I have had several friend requests from men saying they are US military. I refuse them all and mark them as spam.

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