Manager vs Manager

[IloveJudgeJudy]

I have just started a new job within the same company, at a different location, and doing different hours. It's a placement that could possibly lead to a permanent position.

When I was interviewed (by Grandboss and head of HR) I said I am completely flexible.

The hours are fixed at 5pm-1am. The operation is 24/7. There are 2 of us managers sharing duties. When I started the other manager asked what were my days off in my previous position - Sunday and Tuesday. She expects me to do every Saturday in this position! She said she thought I was flexible! I don't want to as it will have an extremely detrimental effect on my marriage as I won't really see my husband. She ideally wants every Friday and Saturday off and to work Sundays as there is a 50% premium for working Sundays.

I've said I'm willing to work every other Saturday/Friday, but she's not willing to do that. She wants me to be responsible for every Saturday with her 'helping me out ' if I have a specific appointment. I'm reluctant as I know I will get stuck doing every Saturday.

Atm we don't have a Bigboss. They are currently interviewing for that position so at present I don't really have a Manager to have 1:1s with.

In my previous position I did work a Rota, but within a bigger team and the latest I finished, barring any emergency, was 8pm so there was minimal impact on my personal life.

The other manager is not my line manager, but she is a signed off manager and I am not.

I really want to get this sorted asap. It's playing on my mind all the time and taking away from the enjoyment of this new position. I think we need to sort this between ourselves as adults without involving higher management, but I am at a loss as how to continue.

She's told me she's single and she said most single's nights are on Fridays and that's when she mostly sees her friends. She also told me that Saturdays are for couples (I wasn't aware of either of these! - Been married too long)

AIBU to not want to work every Friday and Saturday night?

Please help. I really am at my wits' end

Gosh, I wrote my last message without reading all the other great advice that others have just given me. I am really going to have to think about this. I can't email HR as they've made is very, very clear that they don't want to get involved and actually I sort of don't blame them. We should be able to sort this out as adults. It's just that she won't give an inch. I once did a workshop with someone like this and there's no budging them

Just point at two Saturdays and say not that one, I'll do Sunday, and not that one, but I cN do Sunday too. If she objects, say give us £50 and I'll do both. . Keep her in the position of having to keep being unreasonable and say 'well you better sort out some cover then'

I tell you what, I've agreed swap shifts with someone like this who was oh so proud of getting away with it, I agreed to do loads of shift when he wanted a party weekend and then went off sick, the dick was forced to come in every day by the boss he'd boasted of being 'able to sort cover' too.

Broken record here. I'm not coming in that Saturday if you are going to organise the rota you'll have to get cover..

I'm sorry but you need to be far more assertive. She won't budge a bit, well why are you? Just say 'no sorry that's not appropriate, we need to share the rota' and that's it. If you agree to give her every Saturday and only swap is needed you can guarantee when you need to for some reason she won't be able to!
Do not accept her making the timetables for the next month because she'll do the same every month!
Email her and say...

I've been looking at the timetable and can see that I have not got half of the fridays and Saturdays off, can you please edit it to reflect us both doing the same amount of fri, sat, Sunday shifts as discussed as it's not fair otherwise.

We really need to get this sorted so the two choices are...
1.)
I am happy for you to work all Sundays even though it's more money if I have all Saturdays off and then we can alternate Fridays
or
2.)
we can simply alternate Friday, Saturdays and Sundays every week so we each get an equal share of both.

Obviously we can swap if there's a special occasion.
Please let me know which option is best for you and then we can organise the rotas till Christmas so we both know where we stand.

Wonder why the other manager left...?

I can't email HR as they've made is very, very clear that they don't want to get involved

I can understand them not wanting to be involved but it is absolutely their job when it comes down to it.

OP, keep a diary with dates/times/witnesses of any issues you have with the other manager as I suspect before long you will be having more issues with her.

The only way it looks to be fair with regards to your rota is that you both work and have off the same days. She doesn't get every Sunday and you don't with every Friday or Saturday. I think you need to work out a rota that is completely even on the days works and insist that is stuck to.

Why is she writing the rota? Write your own and tell Hr you don't agree with the one she wrote. As she's not your line manager, they must get involved.

Honestly? I'd be approaching HR and saying that since the job isn't as advertised, you're leaving. The colleague is taking the piss with her entitled attitude, as are HR by refusing to get involved. It sounds like a pretty shoddy set up to me. Precious team mate leaves, manager leaves - I think we know why! If there's this much hassle in week one, it's just not worth it!

*previous

You shouldn't have allowed her to make a rota. You should have been there with your version - a fair one.

Agree with HiJenny35 that you HAVE to be more assertive, because she's having no issues with it.

Balanced rota, equal share of shifts and don't give in to the crazy woman.
Hopefully the new Grandboss will be able to sort her out
Good Luck anyway cos it looks like you're going to need it

What FuzzyOwl said, please join a union, not necessarily over this issue, but working with someone as intransigent as this, you may need it in the future!

FuzzyOwl
I can understand them not wanting to be involved but it is absolutely their job when it comes down to it.

Absolutely agree with regard to HR. And I think it's important that the interim rota/arrangement is equitable. Agreeing to be flexible does not require you to bend over backwards to accommodate colleague's preferences.

A quick partial update. I met our new up line yesterday who mentioned the Rota. He seems very nice and wants to sort it. I had spoken to HR on Friday as the whole situation is/was getting me down quite badly which I have previously experienced in my professional life. HR had told me that we 2 managers should sort the Rota between us (I have already tried, but other person is completely intransigent ☹️).

Having spoken to the new manager, though, I’m very hopeful and, of course, it has to be sorted.

I’ll report back.

Think its really unfair that your HR wouldnt get involved.
You've tried to be reasonable and sort it out.

What is the point of your HR department if they wont sort this. You have tried to sort it between yourselves but your colleague isnt being flexible.

Surely the easiest way would be you both work alternative full weekends. Keeps rota simple.

I'd go straight back to line manager - say she has made 5 weeks of rota wih out consultation with you AND no way are you working every Friday.

Has she put herself down for every Sunday