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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To persevere with preschool??

13 replies

Bellyrub1980 · 11/09/2017 09:47

Ok, so it's day 2 of preschool today. My 2yr and 9mo DD started on Friday when she cried but recovered quickly. Afterwards she to told me she loved it.

Dropping her off today was very traumatic, crying+++++ screaming, kicking etc etc. I've phoned up to see if she had settled and they admitted that she isn't 100% happy and is occasionally bursting into a loud whinge but has stopped crying and is kind of joining in with the group activities.

I feel so guilty! She hasn't ever been to nursery or anything special the grandparents have provided all childcare until now. She desperately needs the socialisation and stimulation of preschool, but I didn't expect her to be quite this upset!

Is this normal?

Will it get easier?

Should I persevere?

OP posts:

newbian · 11/09/2017 09:48

It's day 2! I don't think you can draw any conclusions yet.

Original poster

Bellyrub1980 · 11/09/2017 09:49

**She hasn't ever been to nursery or anything yet as the grandparents have provided all childcare until now.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bellyrub1980 · 11/09/2017 09:50

All the other kids just waltzed in and played.... but I have no idea if they are new starters or not.

OP posts:

MrTrebus · 11/09/2017 09:50

to you. We have the option of full time grandparents or the ability to afford some nursery etc and I'm torn. I don't know whether maybe 1 day a week at nursery maybe from age 1 would be helpful later on. It's so hard to know but for your DD at her age I think it's best to persevere to get ready for school. I can only imagine how hard it would be though.

KimmySchmidt1 · 11/09/2017 09:52

all change to children involves a bit of crying. would you keep her at home until 35 if she cried to get her way when you tried to get her out of the house?

As you say, it is good for her, and she had fun when she got over the change of being there. do not make the mistake of her very short term fear of change stopping you from introducing her to new things, or she will never learn how to experience new things and grow as a person.

Soubriquet · 11/09/2017 10:06

It's day 2. Honestly persevere if you can.

My Dd used to cry and cried every day for about 2-3 weeks. Then she loved it! Now she goes to primary school (started last week) and doesn't fuss.

My Ds is currently in nursery.

He started last year and spent weeks crying before loving it. He just started again this year and has gone back to crying at drop off, but he loves nursery and goes racing towards it every time

PennyMise · 11/09/2017 10:06

It's hard to hear she's not having a great time on day 2 but it will get better. My niece is on day 3 and went from excited on Day 1 to tears on Day 2 and back to excited today. My toddler took a month to really settle into nursery. Once your DD has made a few friends and gotten used to the routine - she'll enjoy it more. for you in the meantime - it's hard to send our babas out into the world.

ZanyMobster · 11/09/2017 10:08

Depends on the child but when I ran a preschool there were children who walked straight in from day 1 and some who took 3 weeks to settle full (ie walking straight in with no whinging at all). There was never 1 child who never settled after that period. How quickly they settled often depended on how often they attending. It was usually the ones who only went once or twice a week that took a few weeks, the ones going every morning were fine much quicker.

It is completely normal

MiaowTheCat · 11/09/2017 10:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Bellyrub1980 · 11/09/2017 21:59

Thank you, it's good to hear it's normal.

I really can't say she's a mummy's girl. She's fiercely independant at home.

She is currently only booked in twice a week... so maybe more often will be better.

OP posts:

fucksakefay · 11/09/2017 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wonderingsoul · 11/09/2017 22:08

Keep going, she will settle, i agree it depends on personality types and how offten they go and for how long of a day . Two 2 hour days is going going to be harder for them to remeber the routine and to build a bond with their keyworker and other staff. But ones who go 3 or more days esp for a longer period settle quicker in my experience.

LittleOwl153 · 11/09/2017 22:08

Took my very independent little lad half a term or more to be happy to go into preschool. Actually it was staying the full day and taking is lunch box for the first time (as a one off as I had an appointment) that cracked it for him. He is almost 4 now and absolutely loves preschool. The only think he objects to is not being able to take his lunch box on the day his best buddy does as he only does half day that day!
We are 3 weeks in to term here and there are still a few criers at the gates. They all seem happy enough coming out though.
I'd give it till at least half term, staff will tell you if they think she has a real problem.

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