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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If someone does a line of cocaine

69 replies

Sarah420 · 10/09/2017 22:59

And then shares a drink with someone, how much (if any) cocaine is likely to be passed to the person they are sharing with???

Not really aibu but freaking out!

OP posts:
LauderSyme · 10/09/2017 23:22

.... Aaand relax Grin

Don't worry OP, all perfectly normal maternal paranoia. It's what keeps them alive and thriving.

Original poster
Sarah420 · 10/09/2017 23:22

No I'm not drinking, I'm at home with a mug of water- which my partner came in and gulped from. I then asked him why he was being weird and talking at me and he confessed to having a line of cocaine!!!! Wtf?! It's Sunday, I have no idea what possessed him. This is not a regular thing, he'd been out with 'the boys' and got carried away, some of them are recreational drug users.

I've name changed out of embarrassment, had no idea about this 420 thing! Ironic I chose that

OP posts:
DaviesMum · 10/09/2017 23:31

420 is pot friendly hook-up.

Not that I know anything about that Blush

Sparklesocks · 10/09/2017 23:32

There's no risk of you picking up traces that way OP, you'll be fine. I would be slightly concerned that your partner is around your child under the influence of drugs though.

ShapelyBingoWing · 10/09/2017 23:35

I'm with Sparkle I'm afraid OP. Being drugged up around a baby isn't alright.

RiseToday · 10/09/2017 23:36

Yeah, think i'd be slightly more concerned that my husband fancied a line of coke on a Sunday evening rather than second hand water contamination!

Original poster
Sarah420 · 10/09/2017 23:40

As in a date where you smoke weed? Ha, I'd be a wreck in such a situation! Dating anxiety PLUS stoned?! Definitely not for me.

OP posts:
Crazycatsandkids · 10/09/2017 23:53

I think you need to work on your husband taking class A drugs and then coming home to a small baby more so than worrying if you've indirectly snorted it.

Original poster
Sarah420 · 11/09/2017 00:13

Sorry, did it seem like I was pleased? I thought the 'wtf I have no idea what possessed him' may have indicated that I am absolutely not! He's an idiot for doing it, I don't know what he was thinking. This has never happened before, how do you 'work on' a one time event that's already passed? He clearly feels very stupid now, I had a rant about him being an irresponsible twat as soon as he told me and he's feeling guilty and stupid.

He's not around the baby, the baby was upstairs in bed when he got home. He will be sleeping on the sofa tonight as I don't want to be anywhere near him and don't want him to be anywhere near the baby. If I thought the baby wasn't safe here we'd leave in a heartbeat.

OP posts:
Crazycatsandkids · 11/09/2017 00:19

The fact you were more concerned whether it would affect YOU rather than the fact your husband had just told you he's snorted a class A drug didn't make that point clear, no.

WrenNatsworthy · 11/09/2017 00:27

It's all fine OP - I have no idea why people are jumping down your throat.

It won't affect you, or your breast milk.
Your husband having had one line of cocaine won't make him dangerous to your baby either.
He might just stay up chatting and be irritating.

Maskoff · 11/09/2017 00:30

None lol

Zafodbeeblbrox10 · 11/09/2017 00:33

Don't snog him tho

Maskoff · 11/09/2017 00:33

One thing I learnt about cocaine users is they don't like to do cocaine alone and will always try influence others to do it. He needs to stay away from these friends before they mess up his life.

manicinsomniac · 11/09/2017 01:19

No way it can affect you or your baby.

Shouldn't be much effect on your husband either, tbh - one line used to give me a high for approximately 30 minutes, that's all. And that was as a fairly occasional recreational user - female and about 85-90 pounds. An average sized man shouldn't seem obviously under the influence a significant time after having just one line. Unless he's had a lot more than he told you ...?

blueonblue · 11/09/2017 01:43

The fact you were more concerned whether it would affect YOU rather than the fact your husband had just told you he's snorted a class A drug didn't make that point clear, no.

She's concerned about her breastfed baby, not herself.

Don't worry OP, you were perfectly clear.

Original poster
Sarah420 · 11/09/2017 08:07

Crazycat I explained in my second post, the reason I was concerned is that I am breastfeeding (ie not concerned about me, concerned about my baby).

But actually, yes, if my partner wants to do something irresponsible and selfish, my first thought will always be whether it impacts my DC and myself and from there I can make a decision on how to react. I don't see what is wrong with putting myself and my child first in this situation?

OP posts:
LIZS · 11/09/2017 08:14

Having a recreational cocaine user around a young baby is not great. Does he have any left over? Kit around? Tbh you are projecting genuine concerns about the broader situation, maybe when you have calmed down about the drink sharing you should review this.

Coffeetasteslikeshit · 11/09/2017 08:22

From the op:
This has never happened before

From LIZS
Having a recreational cocaine user around a young baby is not great. Does he have any left over? Kit around?

I'm going to guess not.

JigglyTuff · 11/09/2017 08:25

'Kit'? You do know that most people use a rolled up bank note, a mirror and a credit card to do cocaine don't you LIZS?

Your baby will be fine OP but yes, hope you've read your husband the riot act

PowerPantsRule · 11/09/2017 08:30

I think the OP has OCD. This is the sort of thought I get when my OCD is bad. Am I right OP? If so, I am very sorry. Mine was always much worse after I had given birth - post natal OCD is the pits.

Original poster
Sarah420 · 11/09/2017 08:47

Thank you blueonblue and to everyone who reassured me! I had a strong feeling I was being totally irrational but the fear took over! Baby seems very happy this morning and we're having lots of lovely cuddles.

Still bemused by partners ridiculous choice of actions.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sarah420 · 11/09/2017 09:20

PowerPants thank you for the support, I've never been diagnosed with OCD but have always suffered from pretty crippling anxiety, sometimes less prominent but peaks randomly, and sometimes not so randomly. It do have irrational, obsessive thoughts when I'm going through a bad patch or if something triggers me.

I had a traumatic birth and pnd, the pnd has improved but anxiety is always hanging over me. I might go back on antidepressants but am paranoid about doing so while breastfeeding (even though doctor and therapist have told me the ones I take are very safe to take, I can't get the fear out of my head Sad).

OP posts:
LIZS · 11/09/2017 09:25

Yes of courseHmmtraces could be left on those items, which baby could then touch or worse (depending how mobile). I think op needs to be more than "bemused".

mygorgeousmilo · 11/09/2017 09:31

You're worrying about something that is scientifically impossible, but "bemused"about something really fucked up that had actually happened. Ok