Not to send photographs or upload any online of newborn

[peachandplum]

I'm being induced tomorrow and I am NC with many of my family members due to abuse.

DH and I have agreed not to tell anyone about the induction until baby is here safely but also that we won't be sending any photographs of our DC to anyone as I don't want my abusers to see them or be shown them.
I know it's quite an extreme view but I have been 'in hiding' and through refuge twice. Although not any more.

What do I say if anyone asks to see a photo?

Forgot to say - I have a friend on Facebook who used the line 'we won't be posting pictures because she's so cute it's not fair on the other babies' I'm tempted to steal that.

Thank you everyone. You are all so kind.

Yes to the poster with your adopted DD- I so understand. Thank you for your input it really made me see another point of view.

Absolutely fine in your circumstance.
My friend has nothing of her dc on social media, she always spins it as they might be annoyed when older/no choice to have their life spread all over social media. In reality she had put one silhouette photo (sunset) of her and first dc from behind, that was enough for her abusive exstepdad to try and get in contact. Not worth it.

The nature of my work means DH and I don't post any personal information at all on Facebook. DS is 9 months old now and none of my Facebook friends even know he exists. Only real life friends can see his adorableness

You do what's right for you OP. I'm sorry for what you've been through.

Wishing all the happiness in the word for the future

Just as an alternative if you do want to post a photo or send one which may be shared you can do it in a way that the babys face is hidden so essentially it could be any baby.

I was in a sort of similar situation..Parents were abusive..

I told my Dsis she was not allowed to tell my parents about my DS...I felt so protective of him.. However I reached the point where it felt like he was a dirty secret so I wrote to my mum informed her I had a DS and I am very proud , that I told my Dsis not to say anything.

When DS was 10 months old I moved to a refuge( from exh)..For reasons of safety I could of made it on regional news in childrens class, school photo's end up in local paper I refused. I was so scared of Ex finding us...However again I reached a point after a few years where I refused to let us him affect any decisions we made in our life. It was quite liberating..

To be clear I am not saying you should upload your DC anywhere you don't feel comfortable doing so. Do what you feel is right to protect your baby..Trust your instincts.

Do you want to see your parents and siblings? It doesnt sound like you do and maybe accepting that they are no longer part of your life would be a way forward. Not in your life = no photos ever.

If you do want limited contact (and frankly I wouldnt want to with your father if I was you) then lay down the rules. I am nc with my father as he is an alcoholic who made my childhood hell. I dont even think he knows I have a daughter.

I wish you and your lovely baby a bright future.