To want to do my own garden

[kks]

I moved in with my partner Christmas '05 so last summer was my first here in our house. His mother always done the garden but without sounding too ungrateful didn't like what she done last year but i was too pregnant to do it myself. Plus she used to just go in the back garden and start gardening without even knocking the door so would come down stairs and she would be there.

This year i want to do it myself but feel like i am stepping on toes. Should she except he has a partner and back off or am i being unreasonable? I can't do it with her as she is so controlling and a busy body!

She needs to back off.
But you need to find a really, really nice way to tell her without upsetting her.

What is it with mother- in- laws

You are def not unreasonable.
Do you know a lot about gardening? If not you could get her to teach you and over time make it seem like it's her idea for you to take over.
If not then talk to dp and tell him how you feel.Tell him it's stress relief maybe.

I would want to put my own stamp on my garden too. Although what are you going to do with all the plants she has planted? Personally, I'd hate to think they'll be ripped up and chucked out! (Off to hug a tree In The Night Garden!)

Have you ever done any gardening though? Once you start you might be grateful that you have a free gardener on tap

Well he thinks shes a pain too. I told him he has to put a lock on the side gate and say its so the baby don't get out the garden

why don't you say to her that you'd really appreciate having a go at the garden yourself, but ask her advice on things, so that she feels included still

She makes it look really bare when she gets going. And she moans all the time!

I agree with compo

Gardening takes HOURS AND HOURS

I'd wait and see if you Get The Bug before you tread on MIL's toes

To be honest if you haven't been out there already this year then I doubt you really have The Gardening Bug and will be bored of digging up the same weeds week after week

Hmm well it's SUPPOSED to look bare at this time of year

She's probably just done loads and loads of pruning and weeding

Be grateful she kept the garden tidy when you couldn't.
Though I'd hate her turning up without knocking.

I'd want to put my own stamp on it to, but does she know you want to do that? Does DP know you want to do that?

(mp - we are on the same wave length tonight )

yah compo we are cooking with gas ;)

I agree with singingmum, ask her to teach you about gardening; even if you don't like the way she does it, it would be a kind way of you getting more involved without pushing her out. Tell her if she's coming round to garden, do knock so that you can go out with her and learn some more stuff from her.

If you show an interest like this I'm sure it'll seem a natural progression that you do more and more. She might like that!

Just go out and do the garden with her. I know you say you cant but it might just break the ice. She probably has no idea you think she is interfering. She probably sees it as helping you out.
She probably didnt want to disturb you when you were pregant, which sounds very considerate to me.
Does anyone like their mother-in-law? Les Dawson would be proud!

I have done quite a bit in the garden already. I know its supposed to look bare this time of year but i wasn't talking about now i was talking about last year in the middle of the summer. She came in one day and made the whole garden look bare. I am gonna plant some colourful plants in there. I can get out there most days as i am a stay at home mum. So i can keep it all up to day and i am quite enjoying it.