To think DH should cut down on his drinking?

[SoberMsHoner]

When DH and I first got together I realised he liked a drink on a weekend. Over time, I started drinking a lot too. 5 years on and I was bordering on alcoholism drinking heavily 4/5 days a week.

Over the past year I've cut down dramatically and now barely drink at all. Maybe one or two drinks once a week. Not even enough to get tipsy.

DH on the other hand continued to drink heavily and he morphs into an arsehole when he does. Last night he drank 4 cans - would've been more but we went out to cinema.

Tonight he's drank 5 cans and two glasses of whisky. He's been an argumentative arsehole all night - firstly kicking off at DS over a daft harmless comment about the garden house he'd built and then continuously with me about everything from events from months ago to current non-issues.

I've asked him to cut down on his drinking but he refuses saying he has a right to chill out on a weekend after a week at work but his drinking spoils MY weekend after a week at work! Now that I'm sober he seems worse. AIBU? He denies that he's argumentative after a drink.

He's always been a drinker. It's you who have changed.
It sounds like he's a functioning alcoholic. He doesn't want to change so what do you want to do about it.
Your kids deserve better.

Does he have evenings where he doesn't drink?

He doesn't drink during the week although does sometimes crack the cans open on a Thursday night. He then drinks heavily Friday and Saturday and also cracks the beer open on a Sunday night. When we're on holiday it's every night. Same with bank holidays, easter holidays and Christmas

He drinks 4 nights a week? That's not only drinking at the weekend.
If he's binge drinking those evenings it's hugely unhealthy.
Alcohol makes him act like an arse.
He drinks heavily. Regularly.
It's affecting his behaviour and relationships
Of course he should cut down.
But he's got the excuses ready. So he won't.

He is an alcoholic. He won't change unless he recognises that he has a problem and wants to solve it.

We have an alcoholic in the wider family. They have lost everything because of it and still continue.

Consider all options is all that I can say. He doesn't sound as though he even thinks he has a problem.

I agree with the above, he's an alcoholic. He won't change unless he recognises this, and then actually wants to change.

You have no control in this. Sorry.

Have a look at Al anon it's for friends and family of alcoholics, they can help you come to terms with your situation and possibly what's to come.

www.al-anonuk.org.uk/default.html

I have the same issue with my DH. Started noticing a change in his behaviour when drinking whisky, petty and argumentative.
I started to take note of how much he was drinking. It was half a bottle of whiskey every night plus lager at one point.
We argued over it told him he was an alcoholic. Told him I was intending on leaving.
He promised to stop. His mood didn't Match up with no drinking though and after snooping found he was hiding a bottle of whiskey at the top of his wardrobe he finishes work around 1pm, I work until 5/7pm so he was drinking and putting it back before I got home, he put the empty bottles in his car to dispose of elsewhere.
He fell out with our eldest dd19 around Easter time and she refuses to speak to him, awkward as she lives at home.
I keep going on at him he rolls his eyes and moans about me going on about 'that' again.
He can be vile after drinking and it will end us, but he refuses to see a problem let alone get help.
So I know where you're coming from but I too am at a loss as to what to do xx