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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Nursery taking the, er, Michael?

27 replies

thundernlightning · 08/09/2017 22:33

DS is 18 months, and started nursery in July.

We did a slow introduction and though it was a bit tough, he did really well and we went full time in August.

For all of August, he spent 3 days at nursery and then, invariably, got sent home on Thursday as "sick" which meant he was out Friday too.

Last week the manager asked me to have him checked by a doctor (to her credit, he did have a cough), and we waited a week until the results came back (clear of infection). Yesterday we took him back for the first time but they wouldn't accept him as they weren't prepared for him and said we should have called ahead to let them know he was coming back. Arg, but okay.

Today they accepted him but called me at lunch to tell me he was being disruptive and not napping (that was it - no instructions to come get him, no suggestions about meeting to discuss a plan for him, just called to tell me that.)

Is it them or is it me?

OP posts:

mintbiscuit · 08/09/2017 22:35

Them. It's their job to settle him for naps. You are paying them to care for your child.

Holidaygirlsummer · 08/09/2017 22:42

Give notice and find another nursey asap .
Save the stress.

whichwaynow82 · 08/09/2017 22:43

Shit nursery

ElizabethShaw · 08/09/2017 22:44

They sound ridiculous, find new childcare.

Pecano · 08/09/2017 22:45

They called you to tell you he wasn't napping? Had you told them he absolutely must have a nap or something? That seems very odd to me. What did you say when they said that?

I also wouldn't be impressed at an 18 month old being called "disruptive"! He's very young, hasn't been attending for long and has had a big gap between sessions. It's fairly expected that he would be unsettled!

user1493413286 · 08/09/2017 22:45

Sounds suspiciously like they've booked someone into his place

zzzzz · 08/09/2017 22:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GiraffesLikeToDance · 08/09/2017 22:47

That's not normal. Move him asap

BumWad · 08/09/2017 22:47

Eh? What do they mean they weren't prepared to accept him?

I'd be kicking off at that for a start

megletthesecond · 08/09/2017 22:48

Them.

Why wouldn't they be prepared for him if it's one of his usual days. And if he doesn't nap they should be able to cope.

MrTurtleLikesKisses · 08/09/2017 22:49

All sounds very weird.

Scholes34 · 08/09/2017 22:50

DS3 had stopped napping by the time he was 18 months old. A big disruption to my day! No doubt your DS is disrupting the nursery staffs' day too.

Original poster

thundernlightning · 08/09/2017 22:51

Thank you everyone. I was really starting to wonder. I think I'll take him out. Unfortunately they require a month's notice before you move your child. Agh. I guess that gives me time to find a new place.

OP posts:

Original poster

thundernlightning · 08/09/2017 22:52

Scholes34 what gets me is that he naps 1.5 to 2 hours at home every afternoon. I just...

OP posts:

MrsOverTheRoad · 08/09/2017 23:05

Weird! I mean...18 month old children ARE disruptive by their very nature!

Have they said anything about his development in general? Are you happy with his general behaviour since starting there?

Original poster

thundernlightning · 08/09/2017 23:18

Not really, except today. They have mentioned that he tends to cry when he wakes up, which wakes up the other kids. (But, I mean, I'm not clear what I'm supposed to do about that.)

OP posts:

MrsOverTheRoad · 08/09/2017 23:30

Lol! They're like total beginers or something! I can imagine them...dealing with nappies. "Er...this one can't use the toilet! She's done it in her pants!"

They sound utterly incapable!

Write it all down and find him a new nursery....before you leave, hand them the list of complaints.

PennyMise · 08/09/2017 23:32

Was he napping in the nursery before the week spent at home? Regardless, they shouldn't be calling you unless there was a specific action for you (e.g. Sick so take home) or an impact on his wellbeing (e.g. Bump on head). I'd have stern words with the manager and see if it improves. He's only a month into attending nursery and back after a whole weeks break - of course he's unsettled (not napping, crying when waking up) and they should understand that! Twits.

donquixotedelamancha · 08/09/2017 23:35

Am I understanding this correctly:

He had a week of for a cough?
You have a paid up place, but couldn't take him is as they weren't 'ready'?

If so, both are bonkers. I wouldn't be paying for days when they aren't 'ready'.

Kids do cry. I suppose they are just keeping you informed. Surely if he was sent home ill repeatedly over summer then either your child has some serious condition or the nursery is very odd.

I'd agree with everyone else that 18mo don't really have any setting other than 'chaos'. I'd ask a few firm questions and try to figure out what they are getting at, just in case there is a problem- but another nursery does seem the answer.

NC4now · 08/09/2017 23:39

A disruptive toddler? No shit....
That's bizarre.

Marcipex · 08/09/2017 23:39

Well, it isn't odd that he's unsettled, when he's been away so much. He probably will cry when he wakes up, need a cuddle from his key worker, and then a distraction, what do they expect toddlers to do?
Also, if he was booked in for a day, his place should be available...they must have double booked someone else in. I wish you'd challenged them on that on the day.
They sound rubbish anyway, and are having a quiet few days every week !! by saying he is ill.
Find another nursery asap.

BlueSuffragette · 08/09/2017 23:43

Move him asap. Sounds like they are more concerned about the nursery needs than your sons.

Only1scoop · 08/09/2017 23:47

Original poster

thundernlightning · 09/09/2017 02:02

Thanks all. PennyMise I did exactly that this afternoon and she seemed to know it was coming. Asked for her plan to help him settle back in and we've agreed one more week to see how things go. Came home feeling better about all the shenanigans. (Then discovered he's wearing some other kid's diapers and is missing his hat )

OP posts:

Jedimum1 · 09/09/2017 02:15

That's silly. They shouldn't call you to pick him up for a cough. At my kids' nurseries, they would only call if they had a fever that didn't come down with Calpol, if they had more than 3 runny nappies in a row, if they throw up more than once or if they are covered in any suspicious rash. That's it. I had 4 years of nursery between them so far and only had to take either of them home a handful of times.

If he's full time, you are paying for his place. You don't need to give them notice to come back unless you have specifically told them that he wasn't going to be in until Monday, or whatever, and then you go earlier. I never ever told them we were coming back from a period of sickness, I just drop them off when they were better. Only ever told them once when we were going on holiday and I was sure I didn't need the space. If I'm paying, I don't see why I should facilitate them to book my space. I always saw it as allowing staff to be less busy and other kids to get more attention, so I don't call if they are off.

They should be experts in calming down kids, putting them to sleep, settle them, etc. I'd move nurseries if you have the choice, even with the 4 week notice. By Christmas he'll be settled and happy in another one.

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