To think my ex should have dd1?

[Dontgiveaflyingfuck]

Background - ex lives a 10 minute walk from my house next door to the kids school but will only see them two weekends a month 9 a.m. on Sat till.9 a.m. on Sunday. School runs are "too hard" and he gets "tired".

Three weeks ago Dd1 (9) got invited to go stand up paddleboarding with Cubs tomorrow. I emailed and text ex as it is his weekend and got no response so i signed her up. Dd1 really wants to do it and i'm a volunteer driver for Cubs so I could take her. So it would be only be 3 hrs and no effort from him at fucking all.

He has finally text back to say he thinks she'll be too tired so is just having dd2 this weekend. So now my 9 year old autistic daughter has to chose between paddleboarding with her friends which is she is really excited about or her dad. All he had to fucking do was tell me where to collect her at 1 p.m. and where to drop her at 4 p.m. Just why? WIBU to sign her up?

YANBU. He's being a twat.

I have a similar ex- I am off to an event in London tomorrow (gaming) and it's his weekend. He text on Thursday and said he couldn't afford it. It has been organised months and my ds is autistic. I got the tickets (sigh)

I just except the fact I put them first. Just take her and let your other child go to her dads. I know it's a pain but in my experience it won't change (sorry) and I wouldn't let her miss it.

Don't present it as a choice, take her to the activity and have a special tea.

You can't change him, but it won't be for much longer, they'll suss him out.

I'd be tempted to text back and say that you will drop her off at 4pm. End of story.

I think with people like him you just need to tell him what's happening rather than asking x

He has finally text back to say he thinks she'll be too tired so is just having dd2 this weekend.

What makes you think she'll be any less tired for me? You don't get to opt out of parenting when it's anything other than easy. Let me know where to pick her up from at 1 and drop her back to at 4

Yeah, I agree with those saying you don't give him a choice. Just tell him it's his weekend with them.

It's his weekend, he does not get to choose! She's not going to be less tired with you, is she.

It's him that's tired not dd right? Does he have some Reason to be tired all the time? Is he Ill?

I don't quite understand your OP, but don't let your ex spoil your DD fun.

He's bloody got lazyitis. More like he's the one who tired. He has an awful CBA attitude.

My first though was why are you arranging activities on time when she has contact with her dad? But he can't take her because he is tired? WTF? Lazy arse :(

Just to clarify -

He was worried dd1 would be too tired. She is more likely to have an autistic meltdown when tired so he avoids having her. He isn't ill - from mutal friends i know he goes out partying. Its just childcare that is too exhausting!

Secondly the cubs plan their own activities so dd1 was invited by her sixer and wanted to go. As ex only lives 10 mins away and just stays at home for contact I couldn't see an issue. I would have happily swopped weekends but he never responded till the day before contact.

Dd1 had a blast paddleboarding and we had a Strictly pizza bonza with one of her friends . Dd1 was unbothered by seeing ex. So a happy ending.