To move DD10 schools

[ImMissHannigan]

DD10 attends a small local school. Split years so roughly 15 kids in her year. She has been there since reception with no problems until last year. The small group of girls she is in a friendship group with began a regime of excluding her and mild bullying (if there is any such thing). As one example there was a secret santa organised and the girls were all excited until one of them suddenly cancelled it. Said they were too young and shouldn't bother. DD was not too bothered until she went in the following week to all of the girls exchanging gifts. They had done ss anyway, just excluded her. She was devastated (and she is normally tough and not affected by others). This began months of bad treatment which the school were very poor in dealing with. DD was spending every break and lunch alone or helping teachers.
However she became friends with another girl in the year above (who had also been bullied by her peers) and they saw the year out together. However this friend has now gone to high school and DD is doing her final year with her old "friends". They are okay with her now. Although there is lots of bitching, she just ignores it.
However here is the dilemma. All of the girls apart from DD are heading of the the local private secondary school. DD is not. We have recently moved house and there is a slightly larger primary school nearby she could walk to and meet new friends at, ready for high school. I feel it would be good for her to do. I've checked with the other school and they have a place for her and have said most pupils do go to the local high school. And that they are a particularly nice group of girls in year 6, and that DD will settle well and be welcomed.
DD is torn between staying and going. I feel it would be the best bet to move and make friends now rather than at a huge high school that will be overwhelming. Better to go in knowing someone. So AIBU to move her for the final year of primary for more social reasons? (both schools are outstanding from ofsted so no worries on that side) thanks and sorry for the long post!

Move her, she would make some friends before secondary and it will be a fresh start for her. Sorry she is going through this.

No brainer

I would. Without hesitation.

Absolutely move her, it's the start of the year. She spent all last year being unhappy unless with her older friend who's left. She was being bullied there. You've moved house and the new primary is good and nearer. She'll make new nice friends , that may go with her to secondary school.
Definitely move her.

Absolutely. She'll be better off having a chance to get to know this peer group than spending a whole stressful year getting on politely but distant from her peers.

Do it!

Move her! It sounds like she can be persuaded and as you say will set her up for high school.

DD1 had similar issues with her group of "friends" and we moved her halfway through year 5. The situation was also in that the new school fed into the high school we were going to send her to. She absolutely flourished at her new primary and it was the best thing we could have done. I didn't realise how much her confidence had been dented until I saw her start to change back into the happy little girl she used to be. I'm also a big believer that children learn best when they are happy and DD definitely came on leaps and bounds academically after we moved her.

We're 18 months on now and she's just gone off to high school with a brilliant group of friends from the second primary, and bags more confidence than she would have had if she'd finished out year 5 and 6 at the first school. My only regret is that we weren't able to do it earlier

Thank you all so much. . I'm inclined to do it now. My worry was SATs etc but as you say happy children work better.

Also, don't underestimate how isolating it can be in year 6 when everyone else is going off the same high school together and you aren't. DS was in this position and it was quite difficult, even without any friendship issues.

I would move her. I wouldn't think about SATs at all in making your decision (although I don't think it will have any effect anyway)

And my DD changed school last year (we moved house) and EVERYONE wanted to be friends with the exciting new girl which meant I finally relaxed after months of worrying about how she would settle in.

I would and we did, although in our case it was due to a bullying teacher. I had reservations but it was the best thing we did, DD visibly unclenched and started enjoying learning again. I hadn't realised just how stressed she had been.

Do it and as quickly as possible!

If she is happy to then move her. We moved DD midway through year 5 after a horrendous year of low level
classroom bullying and weak teaching. We moved her to a bigger school where she already socially knew a few children. We kept her in touch with her old friends and they have all moved up to secondary together - first week, all going well.
The only downside I saw was at the end of year 6 when there was a lot of reminiscing about life at primary. She had obviously not had the long shared history with the others and felt excluded at times but overall she was just so much happier.
A year is a long time in a child's life and happiness is so important. Good luck.

I'd move her. The SATS tend to be hyped really, the results mean more for the schools than the actual kids, as most are tested for streaming in early Yr 7.

I'd move her in a heartbeat.

SATs pale into insignificance compared to her happiness. Her SATs result won't affect her half as much as the bullying and I very much doubt her results will be detrimentally affected.

Sending your DD lots of hugs I've been through the same with DS1 and fingers crossed he's come through the other side. She will shine x

Move her. Poor love. Kids are cruel sometimes

Yes, definitely. I'd do it as soon as possible before the year really gets going. Even if the school is selling themselves a bit with the 'particularly nice group of girls' thing then you are still closer to home and she's not happy where she is really (even if she isn't being actively bullied atm). Plus, girls that age all love a new girl.

Move her. SATs don't "really" matter, but your DDs mental and emotional health do.
There is a problem with smaller schools, that one friendship group can exclude others. And I wouldn't describe the secret santa thing as "mild" either.

Definitely move her - she'll be completely fine she has almost a whole year. Her happiness is paramount and aiding her transition to secondary with some familiar faces won't hurt either.

I've had a chat with her after school today and she is now totally on board with moving schools. The comments and experiences on here really helped so thanks to you all for commenting.