Wedding guest - dress choice

[TiredMumToTwo]

My SIL is getting married next month, we are not especially close but get on reasonably well at family events. My daughter will be a bridesmaid and having discussed this, I know the colour scheme / what bridesmaids will be wearing. I need a new dress for the wedding so have been online & found a dress I liked but it is the same colour as the scheme. I thought it would be ok because it is the colour but lacy so wouldn't look too 'all one colour'. The invitation has just arrived & is the colour in a lacy pattern so now if I buy the dress I think they'll think I'm copying or trying to be seen as one of the wedding party. AIBU to buy this dress or am I over thinking all of this?

I think your over thinking it

I wouldn't
Weddings make people crazy. Find another dress!

It wouldn't bother me. One of my guests wore the same colour as the bridesmaid and I didn't have a problem with it.

Might be best to speak to the bride.

Personally I'd avoid buying a dress I knew to be in the same colours as the bridesmaids.

Is the dress available in another colour? Worst case scenario you look like you're trying to muscle in on the wedding party and you might match the table cloths.

Overthinking.

Buy a contrasting scarf to make it a bit different.

No i wouldn't buy it

Accidentally turning up in the same colour = no problem, nobody cares

Turning up in the same colour when your daughter is bridesmaid so you clearly knew = look at the crazy lady trying to be in the wedding party

Way overthinking!

FIND ANOTHER DRESS

In Normal World, this would matter not a jot, but it entirely possible that in the terrifying WeddingLand it would cause WW3. Be safe- not sorry.

Think you could be right Nocabbage

You could send her a photo and ask what she thinks? Otherwise I'd avoid it.

I wouldn't risk it. Even if the bride doesn't mind - I once turned up in the same colour as the bridesmaids completely by chance, vaguely similar style of dress, and I felt incredibly self-conscious the whole time.

Plus, in photos the lacy-ness might not be so apparent and you might be forever recorded as "that person who's trying to be in the wedding party!"

It's ridiculous but I think you could be accused of going to great lengths to match with your daughter's bridesmaids dress. You might also feel a bit self concious on the day if the colour is used in other areas such as chair covers, bunting, napkins etc.

Thank you Mumsnet jury, you're right, I'm not going to risk it. Went back on to the site & another dress I liked has just come back into stock so I've ordered it quick.

Don't buy it. Pick something else. You have a million other colours to choose from. Just don't choose white/cream/ivory now.

You have done the right thing. Enjoy the wedding and the new dress :)

I think it's odd to choose something that you know to be the same colour as the bms are wearing tbh.

I never know why people get so worked up about this stuff - wouldn't worry me in the slightest what you wore if it were my wedding. But having read lots of wedding threads on here I now know getting in a flap over what guests wear is a 'thing' so I think you've made the right decision. Am sure you will look lovely whatever you dress you choose

I did this once having had no idea and my dress was so similar to the bridesmaids the photographer gave me a proper telling off when I was at the bar drinking instead of standing outside for the photos

Cool. So what have you bought?

I got married 9 years ago. My mum bought an outfit the exact shade of the bridesmaid dresses, I was a bit meh but got over it.
I categorically said I didn't want any flower girl/page boys because if I had one child involved I would have had to get other children involved and I couldn't be bothered with the hassle.
My sister bought my neice a flower girl dress in the exact colour of the bridesmaids. I was raging